tomato

SHE’S TOUCHING MY WEINER?!

going to get your tubes tied and when ur done ur doctor shows you an ultrasouns and he’s tied them into a perfect baloon dog :)

hate bluetooth headphones that talk. you are a machine you may NOT speak to me

The popularity of ships like Aziraphael/Crowley and Ed/Stede makes so much sense because it’s the classic good boy meets bad boy except this time the bad boy is also a good boy, the good boy is insane actually, and both boys are middle aged men

remember that interviews are not about giving a good and honest first impression that they'll carefully consider. interviews are about saying the special words and phrases they're looking for that give you points and when they tally those up whoever earned the most job points wins

they don't want to "know you" they want you to walk in there and regurgitate everything the job description said

isnt even a joke btw if you're autistic and/or unemployed and nobody taught you this yet i'm really sorry

I hate driving because you have to do everything perfectly as fast as possible or everyone around you will announce their displeasure with airhorns

oh and if you mess up you die and kill a bunch of people at the same time

LITERALLY like disarming a bomb except there’s a peanut gallery watching you and they’ve each got an airhorn and also another bomb

Fascists fucking hate fat people bc to them we’re a living symbol of degeneracy and that’s yet another reason you should love and support us tbh

If I had a quarter for every time I’ve seen some nazi use genocidal and dehumanizing language to talk about fat people, particularly fat women, I’d have enough money to buy one of those nice soaking Japanese bathtubs.

Thin libs and leftists don’t really talk about this that much and it’s partially because they’d have to confront their own shitty beliefs about fat people.