Don't call me Mister!

am i the only one who is self conscious about my windshield wiper speed when it’s raining. like i gotta watch other cars to make sure im not being too dramatic

once i was babysitting my neighbor’s 6 year old and she asked me why i was so ugly and without thinking i said “i’m you from the future” and she cried for like 30 minutes

Is it just me or was this year like … Really fucking overwhelming? Like everything’s that’s happened to you this year has shaped you into a completely different person that you were at the beginning of this year

what time do you need me? i am unavailable whenever that time is

assflash newshole

Who wants to love me back

Hand kissing is sacred, high romance and I think we need to revive it

I’m sexually frustrated but also regular frustrated

imagine a horror movie where all the characters are gen z and not particularly scared of dying

The fakest part of this is a Gen Z kid answering the phone

I eat romantic shit up. If I were asked to just sit on a roof and look at the stars id probably internally combust

i thought that this was just reese witherspoon living her life tbh

oh good to know the tumblr staff team has gone completely insane

sir im gonna need to see your male nipple license

sir that is my emotional support female nipple

if we date and break up you gotta unlearn all the cool shit i taught you. you gotta go back to being lame