The Soaring Swine

Hey Piggie Posse!

"WAIT - Jaycie, are you mixed up? It's Wednesday... You post on Mondays, I thought?"

Yeah, you're right. But this one needed to be expressed.

"But you haven't written in a couple weeks"

I know, and I'm sorry for that - I moved, work has been exceptionally crazy with our division change, and I have had a lot of tasks added to my plate. Especially a bunch of busy work, that I already do on my own, but I need to format it differently for other people.

Lengthy explanation aside, I thought I'd come here and thank a couple (thousands, more like it) people. So, to the women (or men) who come home and it's quiet. To the ones who walk into their apartments/condos/homes knowing that there won't be anyone there for them...

I applaud you. All of you.

The ones who go out there, without someone in their corner rooting them on. I know what you’re going to say, “but Jaycie, I have my family and my friends who support me. Don’t they count?”

Of COURSE, they do. But you know what I’m talking about… There are those out there in life that have families of their own, that they’ve built. The moms and dads who have the ability (and let's face it) sometimes the chore, to come home from a hard day at work only to walk into a hard night at home with your significant others, and possibly your children. You are the ones who have something every day to look forward to – even if it is a mess - It’s YOUR mess.

I’m not saying everything will always be rainbows and unicorn farts, but at the end of the day, you guys get to decompress with people you’ve chosen. AND BY GOD, they chose you back – you get to put a meal on the table for people other than just yourself; to share in the days’ events. You get to share yourself - with someone who will listen or at least pretends to, while they eat and nod along.

I had a rough day today. I figured out who the Regina George in my life is, and it did not go like the movie. To say I'd been informed of this fact is quite the understatement, but I like a lot of my peers tend to like to experience things myself without heeding the warning.

Plus, being single in today's world kinda sucks. I mean, sure, it’s freeing and I have the autonomy to do and say as I please. If I want to walk around in my underwear and fart in my kitchen as I make myself tacos for one, plus leftovers, I get to do that. And frankly, yeah that’s kind of cool. BUT I don’t get to bounce ideas off someone. I don’t get to laugh at how ridiculously I’m letting the work day affect my emotions and I don’t get to hug someone who tells me it’s okay that I let things get to me because I care too much.

Yeah, I have to pep talk myself.

I’m an only child, so I’ve had to do that a lot in my life, especially when my parents may or may not have known what to say in a given scenario.

Single parents have it tough since they don’t have a partner to lean on… and man do I see that once or more a week with some of my friends. However, they at least get to have a smiling (or maybe crying) toddler at home willing to give you unconditional love… and cuddles.

So, as I stand here, in my kitchen (not in my underwear or passing gas, promise) I wanted to salute those who are autonomous in emotion. Who can decompress from a tough day alone and be solid with that’s what’s happening at their current day to day. Because, if I’m frank – FUCK , does it suck.

There was a post on Facebook by my friend, the wonderfully vocal Kim Spencer from Crown Yourself, late last month that *really* stuck with me. She was posting about Embrace the documentary by Taryn Brumfitt and the founder of the Body Image Movement. Well, last week I finally got to see a screening of the documentary and I think I cried the whole time with how many moments the film actually hit home for me.

Taryn Brumfitt is an Australian mother of three, whose whole motivation behind The Body Image Movement was the perception her children will have of her, and of themselves or other women if she can’t even love her own body. The powerful message she spends 90 minutes going over in substantial detail comes down to finding out why women all over the world LOATHE some parts, if not all, of their bodies.

“I went through anxiety and depression from hating my body.” - Stefania Ferrario

Interviewing numerous women (Ricki Lake, Mia Freedman, Turia Pitt, Stefania Ferrario, Renee Airya, Jade Beall, Melinda Tankard Reist, The Bearded Dame) and showing statistics on screen (91% of women hate their bodies), she gives reason why “your body is not an ornament” and attempts to show why it’s “the vehicle to your dreams”.

There were several moments that struck a chord with me, but I think one of the most influential minutes of the film for me was when she interviewed (a mother in a red dress). She expresses the following sentiment:

“In an ideal world, I wouldn’t have to constantly play, uh whats the word? Damage Control. I feel like I’m putting out a thousand fires everyday… I’m drowning in a sea of media.”

Growing up, I think as early as age ten, I hated how large or round I was. I took note of how I had a 'kangaroo pouch' underneath my belly button. I noticed in the 4th grade that other girls my age had flatter tummies and i had a roll. That's when I believe it all started. Where I would cry to my mother and throw tantrums in the Limited Too in the mall because things were too tight and I wanted to leave, never to shop for clothing again. It didn't help my self esteem when I was put on Adkin's (even though I was being 'helped' by having someone manage my food intake and weight). I hate to "make my mother the bad guy", because she would see me cry and her heart was ultimately in the right place, but it was very apparent that I did not look like her when she "was my age"; that if I could "just stop eating us out of house and home", I could ignore her snide comments and be thin, pretty and happy. That I had a "pretty face"... being thin became a vessel of which I constantly sought out her approval, to be thin and 'pretty'. To this day, she still hears it as a compliment when she says I fit better into a dress than I "used to", rather than I simply look nice or even that I was smart for an accomplishment outside of my attractiveness.

After seeing the film, I realized that I constantly feel the same way – I feel as if I have to run interference between myself and these images or even my own worst critic - ME. I play the angel and devil on my own shoulders, and it’s exhausting. It wasn’t so much that I’m upset with society for having the schema that makes it so we have these insecurities about ourselves, it’s the fact that I simply want to be happy with what I have while I have it, and that I’m not.

The fear isn't that I'm not good enough for anyone else - it's am I good enough for MYSELF?

I have had SO many times in the last 20 years where I’ve looked in the mirror and cried; where I’ve felt like my mind, my soul, were trapped inside this particular physical body and that the outside didn’t match its insides. The person in the mirror, that’s not ME.

“I wanted to get an eating disorder, I wanted to get anorexia” - Stefania Ferrario

Another moment that stood out for me was when Jade Beall, a self-love activist and photographer, was interviewed. She said, “It’s a process – It’s practice. It’s like Yoga, you have to practice it to [get better]. Practice seeing yourself in many different lights…” and actually begin to believe it.

The thing that I’ve been striving to write about for the last few months on The Soaring Swine is that however you look, the only thing that matters is how you see yourself – why I said that Re-Framing the Gaze was so critical. I’m not here to tell you to hate your body, and you need to change it – actually, the opposite. I want to love MY body, and I want to be the best version of myself. That includes HEALTHY and HAPPY. To be healthy, I have to exercise and eat right, and to be happy, I have to love myself unconditionally just as I am – EVEN if that includes a few stretch marks or extra skin.

I suggest you find where you can see a screening of this movie and go now. It was wonderful and shed so much light for my own personal growth.

I've been criticized for posting revealing photos and those that show my progress along my journey. I'll never forget one time, a past friend mentioned that her husband was surprised my then-boyfriend 'allowed' me or supported me posting said photos. "I'm sorry, are they of his body? I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to do what I want with photos of ME" is what I wanted to say.

After years of self-body shaming, and hating the extra skin I've EARNED after losing 80+lbs, I am 100% absolutely DONE giving a crap about what people have to say and what their opinion is of MY body and what I choose to share or not share. I love my body for what it is capable of. It's taken me a long time to truly say that I love my extra skin, but it's a badge of honor! It shows what I'm capable of accomplishing and what I've been through in the last three years. 

I find it funny that as my ten-year high school reunion comes up and is around the corner, I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard “if I only knew then what I know now.” My boss and coworkers were talking about what they would do differently in teaching their Kinesiology and Health classes, my mother and aunt were talking about their past and childhood, and I know I’ve reflected about a few of my growing and learning experiences.

It’s true, though; situations, where we feel as if we wish we would've done or said something better than we handled it, are a part of life. We all have those moments where we knew we could’ve done it differently and could’ve flourished where we floundered.

I reflect on that this week mostly because I received a very illuminating story from my friend Athena. There’s not a whole helluva lot we can do about the past, but careful consideration can certainly help you move forward in a positive direction. I asked Athena some questions about her journey and this is what she had to say:

Jaycie: What are some things you wish you had to opportunity to say to your younger self? Athena: Find a workout that you like! I feel like this made all the difference for me. I had worked out in the past but then I found a martial arts class that pushed me and I enjoyed it so I kept it up and went from 180lbs to 145lbs in about 4 months.

J: What worked/works best for you as far as routine and diet? A: I worked out for an hour 3-4 times a day through martial arts and kickboxing.

J: What was the most positive thing you've noticed at this current stage? A: I was able to do 3 pull-ups - which were huge since I'd never done even 1 before!

J: What's your biggest vice? Mine is wine and it's hindered a lot of my progress A: Social events and wine as well. Since being diagnosed with cancer and going through menopause, it has hard to get the weight off that was gained during surgery. I have gotten back into working out and am watching what I eat minimizing what I eat during social events that I expect to be back to 145 in about 6 months!

  I thought a great deal of what she said and how it applies to all aspects of this journey we call life. Situations, sometimes out of our control, tend to get in the way of our progress and try to derail us. It’s the choices we make based on these past reflections and how we remind ourselves to make healthier selections to better ourselves. Most people that start with weight loss and clean eating don’t understand that it never subsides – the cravings, the constant battle for self-control (for me, at least) has never stopped. That’s why I asked what she would tell her younger self. A friend shared her perception of this with me once and it hit me like a ton of bricks. It subsequently stuck. She said:

“Imagine yourself at 10 years old. Your little adorable face, tight ponytail, and scrunchy – and she’s crying. She hates her body and is so sad. What would you say to that little girl?”

That’s what I try to remember while I’m tearing my mirrored reflection apart because I hate my armpit fat… I’m doing this for that little girl - her. I’m making positive changes for her. I don’t get a do-over, but I’m going to make every future day count FOR HER.

There are a lot of things I would have told my younger self while in college and eating everything in sight. "Don't eat five slices of pizza in one sitting", "lay off the soda", "cool it with the binge drinking", & maybe "go for a run tonight"... But, you can only move forward with the information you’ve collected over the years. Move forward with power, perseverance, and prowess!

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Roughly a month ago, I asked a few of my fitness or health-minded friends to write out their story. I needed inspiration and wanted to remember why I'd started again. Hitting a plateau is never fun, and I felt like a reminder would be worth it (flash forward - it was).

I think what’s hard in this lifetime is you become accustomed to a certain lifestyle. You build a comfortability in your routine and then in the blink of an eye it can be washed away like it never existed. Relationships. Habits. Motivation. Living.  I say that because I recently looked at a picture and it forced me to see how different my life is now, nearly four years later. It reminded me of a time where I had routine – where I had comfort in knowing things would be a particular way for a duration of time and made me reflect about how far I'd come since then. How different I am from that twenty-four-year-old who disliked so much about herself; I reflected that I am 100% a completely different person compared to who I was. I like to think that having the experience itself has made me wiser; a better version of myself now and that I’m more capable of handling certain life situations or issues. 

So...

I asked these friends to send me pieces outlining what they might go back and say to themselves when they first started or when they were discouraged. I asked them to tell me if they had an "aha!" moment like I did over that stove back in 2012 (see what I mean here). I got six hearty responses, all extremely motivational, and they share a common theme:

Time and Perseverance of Obstacles

That’s the case with the first story I wanted to share. The writer has asked to remain anonymous, for obvious reasons, but I think their narrative has a lot to showcase in relation to that emotion in the picture I saw - what it's like to take a look at your surroundings and know that it could be improved. Better yet, to look back after some time and to see yourself in such a drastically different life, that you can't believe that it could ever have been you. 

I have always been seen as the “strong” athlete type. I played competitive softball most my life, and I have been labeled as the tough leader of my group. However, little do people know I have always struggled with self-worth, body image, and confidence. The only time I felt like I had my shit together was between the chalk lines of the field. I struggled balancing this persona placed upon me, and finding my place in the world. To top it off, I am a people pleaser – which puts my needs/wants at the end of the long list of others. This lead me down a dark and very private destructive path. I found myself addicted. Addicted to alcohol, drugs, attention and food… anything that would provide me a moment of satisfaction. I could feel myself spiraling out of control with no way to stop it. I felt I had no one to turn to because I had to be the backbone of work, the glue that held my family together and the face of a failing marriage. I struggled finding my purpose, and turned to comfort – anything that would numb the pain and get me through the day. I started hanging around people I knew I shouldn’t, but they didn’t judge my loose morals which fueled the fire of my destruction. I stopped playing softball, caring for the things I once loved, and the weight started to pack on. Instead of doing something about it, I only sunk deeper and deeper into what I refer to as the black hole of my life. I was at the peak of my drug/alcohol use and heaviest I had been in my life when it all came to a head - I had discovered that the marriage I was fighting so hard to save was over. I hit what I thought was rock bottom, but in reality was my saving grace.

I had no idea where to start, but I can vividly remember sitting in my car with everything I could grab in a moment’s notice thinking “now what?”. It was through that chaos I knew had to grow up, and take care of me. It has been a slow and steady roller coaster of trials and tribulations. It started with my mental health – talking to a therapist and realizing I am worth it and that I do NOT need the crutch of drugs/alcohol. I am proud to say that I am no longer dependent on substance – knowing the difference of need/want. As I got to a healthy mindset my weight started to become steady, and I was complacent where I was. It was once a good friend of mine came to visit me for the weekend that I knew that I could reconstruct my body, just like I had done with the rest of my life. Seeing, and hearing her story inspired me. I have become more active, and mindful of my nutrition.  This new found surge of energy, hope, and happiness has brought light back into my life. As the pounds, and inches dwindle away I find myself more confident – not solely for the vanity of looking better, but knowing the strength and sacrifice I have made to achieve where I am today.

This new found confidence has given me a life I could have never imagined. I’ve found true love, mended broken friendships, strengthened family bonds, and passion for softball that I thought had been lost. Turns out that persona of being a tough leader has been inside me this whole time. This journey of mine has just begun, and I look forward to every day ahead of me.

A couple of weeks ago, I received a message from Claire Holland from A Life in Practice, asking me if she could nominate me for the Versatile Blogging Award… My first immediate reaction was “heck yes! Wait - what is that??” I’d heard about it around the forums I follow on Facebook and always wondered what it was about. After a little research, I found that this award is slightly different than what I’d originally thought – it was created to honor those bloggers who bring something special into your life, by spreading the word in hopes that it may touch the life of someone else. I’m flattered! I was thrilled to spread the love by acknowledging some of my favorite up and coming writers I’ve met in the last five months. I have to say, Claire, thank you!

A Life in Practice showcases the cheery as well as messy sides of parenting and life. Claire is a mom blogger from South East England, who at times second guesses herself but pulls through all of life’s inadequacies and steps out of the struggle, stronger. Her nomination message was quite moving, actually…

“I've had a chance to look at your blog, I had my second baby in January and was very unhappy with my weight, so I crafted my own diet and exercise routine and managed to lose 2st[28lbs]! so obviously I was interested to see the theme of your blog! I'd like to nominate you for the Versatile Bloggers Award!”

I personally do not understand a mother’s daily struggle, as I don’t have children, BUT I know some of you do. One of my favorite posts of hers is called, “My Journey of Self-Recognition: From Postpartum Body To The Old ME Again” – where she talks about body dysmorphia and how she lost the weight after her second child. I think a lot of us struggle with what we see in the mirror, like I’ve said before in How to be Enough. Claire mentions, “At the end of the day, no matter how big or small a difference physically, it will shine through you as you grow more confident and feel more energetic. It will surround you as you find the strength you’d lost and start to recognize yourself in the mirror again. In the end, your journey is for you, as mine was for me. I now stand taller, smile wider and step lighter, not because I lost weight, but because I gained back what I had misplaced along the way. Myself.” I love your insight, Claire! Check out and subscribe to her site – A Life in Practice! 🙂

If you want to check out the post that she wrote in nomination, you can find it here.

Janalyn from The Soaring Swine has an inspiring story. Her blog about her weight loss success combines weight loss tips, exercise advice, diet advice and affirmative body image support with a positive outlook. I found her post ‘How to be enough‘ very thoughtful and relatable. Go have a read!

Now. The difficult part! Finding 10 other bloggers who share a spark of madness AND sharing seven facts about myself that a lot of people don’t already know… The finding ten people I admire is easy – the part where they accept and share the love was NOT. I contacted ten people, but only received acceptances from three! It’s hard on a blogger when they’re busy, but here are my best three!

Kristin is a vivacious 23 year old part time blogger from the East Coast. She writes, aiming her articles towards the budget savvy, cosmetic aficionado, and fitness minded individual. Her lifestyle blog just felt familiar. I struggle and feel all of the things she writes about, and aren’t we all here just trying to relate to one another? I loved “getting to know” her in the Coffee Break post, and found “Thinking of Skipping Breakfast? Don’t!” extremely informative and something I completely agree with. Definitely follow her on Instagram.

A food blogger, I’ve found Vy's Healthy Eating and Living quite a resource for tasty and nutritious recipes. With all of the things I’ve been searching via Pinterest for meals and scrumptious bites, this blog is one I’ll keep in my back pocket. One of my favorites is her Gluten Free Strawberry Tart. Visit her site for more or follow her on Facebook or Instagram.

Mary is a health and wellness coach for those looking to get Fit Over 50! Her blog consists of recipes, nutritional advice, fitness tips and motivational articles for those who are over or at the young age of 50! Her article Are The Words “Better Health” Even In Your Vocabulary? Really resonated with me – a lot of people I know don’t even consider it an issue, let alone take initiative to watch their health for the future. She mentions that we sometimes take our health for granted, and that amidst the other seemingly important details of life, it gets lost and thrown to the back burner. Check her out here or on Twitter.

A Little More About me… Well, what have I not already shared with you guys?

 I have a HUGE travel bucket list. I want to go everywhere before I'm physically unable. Among several states that I can remember (like Georgia, Florida, Washington, Nevada, Arizona, and Colorado), so far, I've been to England (Newcastle Upon Tyne, London), Scotland (Edinburgh),  Ireland (Dublin, Cork), France (Paris), and Mexico. I've been on one cruise through Catalina Island and Ensenada, even though I get motion sick. 

I have an obsession with Corgis. I own a Pembroke Welsh named Brody and he's just as feisty as his Momma. My names for him are "Bro-dor", Face, and short stuff.

I'm alumnae from California State University, Northridge as well as the Beta Beta chapter of Delta Delta Delta. (I chose this for # 3 on purpose ;) D <3 haha)

I'm usually up for new adventures. Whether it's trying out a new recipe, signing up for a run, or even starting this blog, I'm normally pretty game for any challenge that comes my way... Although it scares me, it's usually worth it in the end and has shaped who I am.

Helping others achieve their goals keeps me on course for my own. Seeing how much positive impact I've had recharges my batteries and acts as the best high, second only to a good workout.

Ive been to several three-day music festivals. Coachella (2015, 2016) Life is Beautiful (2015, 2026), and BottleRock (2016). I have dreams of going to Firefly, Lollapalooza, Austin City Limits, OutsideLands, and the two big ones in Europe - Glastonbury and Tomorrowland. I love the environment, and must say that my experiences this far have been all positive ones (aside from some minor setbacks of camp equipment or too much alcohol).

I like big groups and am the quintessential social butterfly. I am perfectly fine being by myself, however, I find life much more enjoyable with friends and in a group setting. Just this weekend my friend from out of town said she believes I am the glue that keeps people and friends together - I couldn't have been more flattered to hear that. I enjoy making other happy, laughing and having a good time... Don't you? 

Do me a favor and check out some of these fabulous finds

I'm honored and so grateful I followed my ambitions to start The Soaring Swine and write. I have a tremendous wealth of support from friends, family, and the bloggers I've met in such a short time!

I’ve been reading up a lot lately about body-shaming and how to stop caring what other people think. It’s a household conversation for my boyfriend and I and it’s something I’ve been struggling with most of my life.  As I’ve said in a lot of my posts, my reoccurring theme it seems, is to love yourself and to accept yourself for who you are – that way, other people’s perceptions (or OPP, coined by the wonderful Dr. V) don’t affect you so much.

I recently watched this video: How To Stop Caring What People Think of You | 3 Simple Steps. In it, the narrator outlines three steps to get you on your way to accepting yourself, requiring NO validation from others and to help with these issues we all seem to share. He goes on to talk about how this is an innate personal trait of all of us, and explains that some of us are more susceptible to feeling like we require more validation.  The steps are: 

Step 1: Brainwash Yourself/Build Confidence Step 2: Tune Out Disapproving People/Stay Away Step 3: Apply It – Be Who You Are

The main principle of this video is obviously for self-help, but a part of me felt like I was being told I’m too needy for having issues with liking to be liked, or with my body image. It IS an inherent need in all people to be liked and for ANYONE to say that those feelings are TOO SENSITIVE or TOO MUCH is NOT good therapy. For those of you who have gone to therapy or are in careers where you’ve studied the basic principles of Psychology and Sociology, you know this already. For someone to be called “too sensitive” or “too needy” for expressing themselves or sharing thoughts with a trusted individual is what we in the school system would call “bullying”.

Frankly, I’m tired of it. I’ve been socially taught over the years to be ashamed of my body, my emotions, or generally of things that make those around me ‘uncomfortable’. I’m supposed to be ashamed of wanting to be liked? Those feelings occur naturally and without will!

“Why are you letting it get to you?”  “You should really learn to control your emotions?”  “C’mon, Jayce, build up your Teflon!”

All of these statements were things that insinuated that I was the offender in a conversation meant to help me. I was told that the reason I am so sensitive is because I ALLOW it to affect me, pointing the finger of blame at me, where those bullies don’t get punished or reprimanded for acting rude or arrogant for being intentionally spiteful.

The concept that people should take criticisms (especially ones of someone’s physical shape) with a grain of salt can be true, to a degree – a stranger can call me a name or look at me and say "you're fat" and YES, I have the power to either allow it to fester and water the seed they’ve planted OR I can choose to write it off as “that opinion doesn’t matter”. What happens, though, when it’s someone you care about? When it’s someone who’s opinion you respect and value it’s a little bit more difficult than that. The video goes on to explain that there’s a correlation between the personalities that don’t need validation, and those who do, relative to the amount of validation they receive; “the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.”

Why is it that as a society, we shame those who need something, and praise the ones who don’t? Being an “easy target” shouldn’t be the true offender’s excuse, and it’s not moral to say that people who are “needy” should be looked down upon. If someone in your home was hungry and asked you for food, you’d give it to them – right? Not starve them… Unless you’re a selfish jerk. Same thing with this concept.

I also believe that we’ve become a country focused on not offending anyone. Which, is cumbersome yes, but it’s also relative to how many F@#$ we don’t give about being kind anymore. The sheer fact that our first reaction to hurting someone’s feelings suggests that it is the responsibility of the victim to accept the label and hurtful behavior rather than resist it. Instead of the “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” attitude, I’ve seen it become more and more now the “what can you do for me” or “hit me and I’ll hit you back” more selfish attitude. How have we resorted to 5th grade behaviors? Remember being called names in grade school? The bully always said “I was just kidding” or “they’re too sensitive”. Weren’t we taught back in then that “It’s just a joke” wasn’t acceptable – so why are we still saying it now, as adults?

To me, that response shows that the bully became embarrassed or contradicted by a negative response towards their own vie for others approval of their joke. Since these bullies are not empaths or cannot hold the emotional range of what it felt like in a reverse role, they couldn’t appreciate the refusal to ignore the situation. They claim then that the victim is audacious to feel negative in response to it. THEY, then, were NOT validated either… Makes you think.

The third and final point of this video is really the only thing worthwhile for a teachable moment here. It says:

"Be as weird as you are. Be as crazy as you are, HOWEVER you are. When you’re yourself, you’re no longer straining to put on a mask… If you’re trying to be someone you’re not just to please people, you’ll begin to lose confidence in yourself…”

The whole video then becomes contradictory, as it says “There’s no use trying to… ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ or trying to fit in somewhere you clearly don’t belong”. That is the point I want you to take from my post. One of my favorite quotes about this is by Maria MacLachlan of Think Humanism. “Although it isn’t possible to know what it really feels like to be a different person or live in different circumstances and have different life experiences, it isn’t difficult for most of us to imagine what would cause us suffering and to try to avoid causing suffering to others.”

Philosopher Immanuel Kant said that a lot of what’s wrong with the Utilitarian ideas such as “do unto others” and our laws are simply because they rely on subjective morals. If some are only concerned with their own positive outcome, then maximization of the “good outcomes” for the great many become irrelevant.

Essentially, the basis of my rant on this topic was to show that if we could all simply be more accepting of people AS THEMSELVES then we wouldn’t need these videos that repeat cliché things labeled as “self-help” for those “who value the opinion of others too much”. We would all be genuinely more kind human beings, and accepting of all of our unique personality traits. What makes this world great – what makes this country great – is that we have so many unique people in it, from all areas of life with different experiences and different thought patterns than our own.

I'm PROUD of being "too sensitive"; it means I'm kind and cautious with other people's feelings and don't want to be hurtful on purpose. 

The bottom line? Don’t be a jerk.

I love sweets… I know, I know. But Jaycie, you can’t really indulge in sweets when you’re trying to be healthy, can you?”

I’m here today to tell you that you CAN

While on a ‘diet’ you cut out sugar, you restrict yourself and make yourself miserable. Like I said in a previous post How To Be Enough, we become slaves to our diets, rather than making it a lifestyle change and reconstructing our mind’s perception of what taste is and how that affects our waist holds a correlation.

We’re allowed whatever we want – IN MODERATION. That right there is the key to success, people. Moderation is my most successful piece of advice. I allow myself to indulge, and yet I still find that I’m healthy and have the energy to persist and my progress keeps moving forward, one day and pound at a time. I'm 100% positive that sugar is my downfall. That's why I made the suggestion for Bon Affair two weeks ago... and if you HAVE to have it, at least substitute is with natural sugars in fruits or substitute it with something that will satiate the craving. Don't deprive yourself. You've done that and it hasn't worked... at least, not well anyway.

If you restrict yourself, you find that you crave it that much more, then when your ‘diet’ is over and you become tired of it, you can’t control yourself, overindulge and then you’ve lost all headway. Once you adopt the lifestyle and realize that habits need to change forever, that’s when you can truly attain the goal you set out to achieve.

What I’m getting at here, folks:

I have ice cream at least once a week. I drink wine... more than I want to publicly admit ha ha. A friend of mine told me about this great ice cream brand called Arctic Zero. The two I decided to purchase were the pint of Vanilla Maple Ice Cream and the Chocolate covered Salted Caramel Popsicle, pictured left

They're flavorful, and gives you just the right amount of satiation to your sweets craving.

Like I said, though, always in moderation. If you eat all six bars from the box, it’s not going to do much service towards the lifestyle you’re trying to adopt and will set you back.

It’s a treat. That’s all.

A couple weeks ago, I read a DOSE article that covered the reliability of heart rate monitors, specifically the FitBit Charge and Surge trackers that measure heart rate and relate to the iPhone and Android apps the intensity of your workout. As a fit girl myself, I’d been looking into a new tracker after my last one died/became discontinued (Jawbone UP24). I started looking further into them, and I was disheartened with what I saw!

If anyone can tell you one of the toils of trying to lose weight/become healthy, finding a tracker that helps you, uh, keep track is definitely an overwhelming task. There are definitely too many to choose from, and they all vary in price point. The ever present question “how can I choose the right one?” becomes the worst struggle. Based on this article, and the study associated with it from CalPoly, it seems that FitBit isn’t as accurate in measuring heart rate as they say they are. Here’s why:

The study included free and gym specific exercises in their control and experimental groups and based on their analysis the conclusion was that the Charge and Surge monitors do not provide valid measure of rate, off by a measure of 25 beats per minute. The devices are inconsistent and “cannot be used to provide a meaningful estimate of a user’s heart rate”.

Anyone who is new to fitness should know that your target heart rate needs to fit within a specific range for best results, and overall positive health steps. If these Fitbits are off by as much as the study shows, you may be over or under exerting yourself. Even more so, people with heart conditions or are obese could damage any progress they might have had with the inaccuracy. I, for one, don’t necessarily believe that ANY of the trackers we’ve used or are available to consumers are any better in reporting the most accurate of data. Why? Because I’ve worn three at one time, and they all came back with different results, or miscalculated steps. I read a secondary article, How Accurate Are Fitness Monitors, because I was torn over the Fitbit – at this point I really wanted the newer Blaze that looks similar to the Apple watch. I’d been researching and used the Best Fitness Trackers of 2016 as a guide after the Jawbone Up24 I had died (after 3 years, it’s a great product but they discontinued it). It was interesting what the articles points were.

Dr. Meckes, a previous researcher at Arizona State University, “gathered 16 adult volunteers and fitted each with three different monitors, two worn on the hip and one around the arm.” They wore apparatuses that monitored their oxygen intake and energy output. The director of the Healthy Lifestyles Research Center at Arizona State University in Phoenix, Dr. Glenn Gaesser, who oversaw the study says inaccuracies in heart rate of any fitness tracker “doesn’t mean you should stash yours in a drawer - they may not be accurate for counting calories… but for many people, they’re inspirational, and if using one gets someone to move more, then as far as I’m concerned, it’s serving a good purpose.”

So... That's a 'no' to buying a Fitbit?

Wait - That's not what I said! If you want an accurate heart rate monitor, then maybe dont go with the Charge or the Surge... BUT they still get steps, they still motivate you to get up and keep moving. At the end of the day, Fitbits are a great buy if you're interested in keeping track of how many flights of stairs or steps you took to reach the recommended daily exercise goal. If you want, buy it! I did!

I ended up purchasing the Fitbit Blaze watch anyway, like I’d originally wanted. I figure, if it’s off by any amount, at least the steps are accurate and that’s what counts. Plus, it will sync to the scale and provide other details to MyFitnessPal. Oh, and I also bought the Aria (a scale that measures weight, body fat percentage and BMI). What can I say, I love gadgets!

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that Nintendo released its smartphone app, PokemonGo, on Thursday July 7th. If you don’t know what that is, it’s an app where people can join and collect fictitious Japanese cartoon creatures with special abilities. It combines a digital experience of bird-watching, geocaching, trophy-hunting and for the generation I grew up in, some nostalgia for the late 1990’s and elementary school games.

If you’ve seen groups of people out and about, glued to their smartphones, it hasn’t been for text messages, Facebook or for e-mails… it’s been to catch these creatures with what they call “PokeBalls”, similar to the smallest digital ski ball game ever made. Unlike other IOS, android, computer and handheld console games, this particular game makes the user go outside in the world, walk to and from GPS location hotspots to make advances in the game.

The result?

People who never used to get much physical activity playing video games are now getting more exercise than ever!

From personal experience, I downloaded the game the morning after it came out. My boyfriend and I went out, found a hub of what they call Pokestops, became engulfed in the game and ended up walking 30+ miles over the duration of the weekend to hatch Pokemon eggs!

The average gamer, if they work a full time job, can spend about 35-40 hours a week sitting in front of a screen, if not more. Any medical journal, textbook or study can confirm how detrimental to the physical fitness of any human body that can be. Based on the recent studies done of those who sit for long periods of time, research shows that it contributes to risks of heart attack, stroke, and metabolic syndrome. Sitting decreases life expectancy, increases the size of your booty (even though it's probably already bootylicious), and slows your metabolism. 

A study published by the Archives of Internal Medicine recently found that “adults who sat 11 or more hours per day had a 40% increased risk of dying in the next three years compared with those who sat for fewer than four hours a day. This was after taking into account their physical activity, weight and health status.”

Given the nature of our work environments and the nature of the gamer’s ideal surroundings, there is very often little that can be changed or even would want to be changed. My boyfriend is a fan of sitting at his computer for roughly six hours after work. Including the 8 he spends at work as well as the hour to and fro commute he spends sitting in his car, that’s 14 hours sedentary a day.

This new app has revolutionized the gamer’s lack of fitness in their routine and has, since Thursday, turned their proverbial wind-up-key in order to get them moving again – all while providing intrinsically motivating rewards through the app itself! The more you walk, the more poke eggs you can hatch, thus you have more and more of the creatures! 

The eggs require you to walk (so no cheating by using a car!) to hatch these eggs, varying in distances of 2km, 5km, and 10km. That's anywhere from just over a mile to over six!

Not only is it rewarding for fitness, but the users are able to connect and interact face to face socially with other gamers.

During the most recent times of extreme dissension in the media about violence and civil issues, the world has seemed in desperate need of something positive. Not only has Nintendo provided us with a game, it's done so with positive benefits of fitness AND social reconstruction.

With the app, we’ve been able to come back to the positivity of unifying the human interaction.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that Nintendo released its smartphone app, PokemonGo, on Thursday July 7th. If you don’t know what that is, it’s an app where people can join and collect fictitious Japanese cartoon creatures with special abilities. It combines a digital experience of bird-watching, geocaching, trophy-hunting and for the generation I grew up in, some nostalgia for the late 1990’s and elementary school games.

If you’ve seen groups of people out and about, glue to their smartphones, it hasn’t been for text messages, Facebook or for e-mails… it’s been to catch these creatures with what they call “PokeBalls”, similar to the smallest digital ski ball game ever made. Unlike other IOS, android, computer and handheld console games, this particular game makes the user go outside in the world, walk to and from GPS location hotspots to make advances in the game.

The result?

People who never used to get much physical activity playing video games are now getting more exercise than ever!

From personal experience, I downloaded the game the morning after it came out. My boyfriend and I went out, found a hub of what they call Pokestops, became engulfed in the game and ended up walking 30+ miles over the duration of the weekend to hatch Pokemon eggs!

The average gamer, if they work a full time job, can spend about 35-40 hours a week sitting in front of a screen, if not more. Any medical journal, textbook or study can confirm how detrimental to the physical fitness of any human body that can be. Based on the recent studies done of those who sit for long periods of time, research shows that it contributes to risks of heart attack, stroke, and metabolic syndrome. Sitting decreases life expectancy, increases the size of your booty (even though it's probably already bootylicious), and slows your metabolism. 

A study published by the Archives of Internal Medicine recently found that “adults who sat 11 or more hours per day had a 40% increased risk of dying in the next three years compared with those who sat for fewer than four hours a day. This was after taking into account their physical activity, weight and health status.”

Given the nature of our work environments and the nature of the gamer’s ideal surroundings, there is very often little that can be changed or even would want to be changed. My boyfriend is a fan of sitting at his computer for roughly six hours after work. Including the 8 he spends at work as well as the hour to and fro commute he spends sitting in his car, that’s 14 hours sedentary a day.

This new app has revolutionized the gamer’s lack of fitness in their routine and has, since Thursday, turned their proverbial wind-up-key in order to get them moving again – all while providing intrinsically motivating rewards through the app itself! The more you walk, the more poke eggs you can hatch, thus you have more and more of the creatures! 

The eggs require you to walk (so no cheating by using a car!) to hatch these eggs, varying in distances of 2km, 5km, and 10km. That's anywhere from just over a mile to over six!

Not only is it rewarding for fitness, but the users are able to connect and interact face to face socially with other gamers.

During the most recent times of extreme dissension in the media about violence and civil issues, the world has seemed in desperate need of something positive. Not only has Nintendo provided us with a game, it's done so with positive benefits of fitness AND social reconstruction.

With the app, we’ve been able to come back to the positivity of unifying the human interaction.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that Nintendo released its smartphone app, PokemonGo, on Thursday July 7th. If you don’t know what that is, it’s an app where people can join and collect fictitious Japanese cartoon creatures with special abilities. It combines a digital experience of bird-watching, geocaching, trophy-hunting and for the generation I grew up in, some nostalgia for the late 1990’s and elementary school games.

If you’ve seen groups of people out and about, glue to their smartphones, it hasn’t been for text messages, Facebook or for e-mails… it’s been to catch these creatures with what they call “PokeBalls”, similar to the smallest digital ski ball game ever made. Unlike other IOS, android, computer and handheld console games, this particular game makes the user go outside in the world, walk to and from GPS location hotspots to make advances in the game.

The result?

People who never used to get much physical activity playing video games are now getting more exercise than ever!

From personal experience, I downloaded the game the morning after it came out. My boyfriend and I went out, found a hub of what they call Pokestops, became engulfed in the game and ended up walking 30+ miles over the duration of the weekend to hatch Pokemon eggs!

The average gamer, if they work a full time job, can spend about 35-40 hours a week sitting in front of a screen, if not more. Any medical journal, textbook or study can confirm how detrimental to the physical fitness of any human body that can be. Based on the recent studies done of those who sit for long periods of time, research shows that it contributes to risks of heart attack, stroke, and metabolic syndrome. Sitting decreases life expectancy, increases the size of your booty (even though it's probably already bootylicious), and slows your metabolism. 

A study published by the Archives of Internal Medicine recently found that “adults who sat 11 or more hours per day had a 40% increased risk of dying in the next three years compared with those who sat for fewer than four hours a day. This was after taking into account their physical activity, weight and health status.”

Given the nature of our work environments and the nature of the gamer’s ideal surroundings, there is very often little that can be changed or even would want to be changed. My boyfriend is a fan of sitting at his computer for roughly six hours after work. Including the 8 he spends at work as well as the hour to and fro commute he spends sitting in his car, that’s 14 hours sedentary a day.

This new app has revolutionized the gamer’s lack of fitness in their routine and has, since Thursday, turned their proverbial wind-up-key in order to get them moving again – all while providing intrinsically motivating rewards through the app itself! The more you walk, the more poke eggs you can hatch, thus you have more and more of the creatures! 

The eggs require you to walk (so no cheating by using a car!) to hatch these eggs, varying in distances of 2km, 5km, and 10km. That's anywhere from just over a mile to over six!

Not only is it rewarding for fitness, but the users are able to connect and interact face to face socially with other gamers.

During the most recent times of extreme dissension in the media about violence and civil issues, the world has seemed in desperate need of something positive. Not only has Nintendo provided us with a game, it's done so with positive benefits of fitness AND social reconstruction.

With the app, we’ve been able to come back to the positivity of unifying the human interaction.

Like I said in my last post, Independence, it’s easy for those of us who have been a little thick to *heavily* criticize ourselves. I was scrolling through Facebook a few weeks ago, and something a friend liked stood out to me. It was this amazingly fit, gorgeous woman lamenting over a common issue among those of us striving to be stronger, healthier versions of ourselves. She said:

"My body does not look like all the other…‪ female athletes with crazy ripped abs and zero body fat on their stomachs. I wish I could look like that, but I've come to the realization that this is my body. I work my ass off in training every day. I eat clean for the most part, but am human and love to indulge in dessert every now and then. I'm in the best shape of my life and still don't have a six-pack. Not even close to a 4 lol. Some of it is genetics and the other part is I could eat fewer calories to try to look like everyone else. But the bottom line is I need to eat to perform. I can't worry about trying to look like a "Games" athlete because having a six pack doesn't always make for the best athlete. So for anyone who thinks they need to look a certain way to be a Regionals or Games competitor, you don't. Stay on the grind and keep doing you!" —Jamie Hagiya - CrossFit Athlete

I don't know about you, but it seems like we all have something we think is holding us back. I mean, Alessia Cara put out a song called "Scars to your Beautiful" and an incredibly moving music video about it (check out the video, I'm not kidding - it's incredible!)! We ALL feel some way about something on our bodies. It's completely normal, and if we all have something we want different, we all have that in common. For some, it's the muscle formation on their bodies; for others, it's simply the constant feeling of being winded or tired. For me, I've had a rough time with accountability. I was reading an article of all the things that make someone successful in this whole journey, and one of the points really made me think: 

Recruit someone who will hold you accountable

"Accountabili-buddies"! Duh! No wonder I'm dying on the vine here. I haven't recently had anyone in my life who has encouraged me by offering to join me. It made sense why I've been so lazy lately. My significant other doesn't find general fitness or eating right a current priority in his life. That's not a problem, but what I need to remember is that there are others who do. The article I read just this morning goes on to say that "an accountability buddy doesn't necessarily need to be a workout buddy, but they do need to be someone you can talk to when you're feeling unmotivated and who can remind you of your original goal"... Ding ding ding! Light bulb!  Of course! That's when I was carefully measuring my portions and meal-prepping, and my consistency at the gym. Right now, I get so preoccupied at work with my tasks and the stress, I don't even take advantage of the gym across the hallway from my office as the most simple form of stress-relief. 

My point is, motivation is hard to come by, even for me. Don't get discouraged with your figure or lack of progress simply because you don't look the way you want to just yet.  Even Jamie Hagiya, doesn't look like the 'typical' cross-fitter.

It's hard as hell to keep going forward. You have to remember that as you trudge on - Remember how far it is that you've come.