nearly-unshackled NHP

I think there’s sometimes a misconception that polyamorous people just have unlimited love and energy and time and resources to have all the partners in the world that they want- and I’m sure that’s true for some people- but like each individual situation can take up a LOT of emotional bandwidth. Polyamorous people are not bottomless pits of all of these things- a lot of us have limits, we get tired easily, our social batteries run out, we get stressed, etc. If you think having one full-time relationship on top of everything else you have going on is a lot, try doubling or tripling that. Not to mention that even relationships that aren’t traditional can take up a lot of energy. FWB? Crushing on someone? Going out on casual dates? Metamours/friends? All of these things cost some sort of emotional/social/romantic/sexual/platonic/etc. energy. A LOT of polyamorous people do actually have a cap on how many partners/partner-adjacent relationships they can handle at once. A lot of us do actually have a max capacity. Not to mention the calendars.

No matter how shitty it might feel in the moment, most of the time when someone comes to you to communicate a boundary or a need or a negative feeling about something you did, it is actually a compliment. They are telling you BECAUSE they care about you and want it to work between you and because they trust you to care to do better. If they didn't care about you, they'd just avoid you. That uncomfortable convo is in fact a declaration of love and trust. Or at least intention of friendship. If they didn't like you, they'd just try to avoid you whenever possible. They wouldn't care to have The Talk (which is often scary and uncomfortable for them also). So try to treat their trust with care, even if it really upsets you to learn that you've accidentally hurt them

No matter how shitty it might feel in the moment, most of the time when someone comes to you to communicate a boundary or a need or a negative feeling about something you did, it is actually a compliment. They are telling you BECAUSE they care about you and want it to work between you and because they trust you to care to do better. If they didn't care about you, they'd just avoid you. That uncomfortable convo is in fact a declaration of love and trust. Or at least intention of friendship. If they didn't like you, they'd just try to avoid you whenever possible. They wouldn't care to have The Talk (which is often scary and uncomfortable for them also). So try to treat their trust with care, even if it really upsets you to learn that you've accidentally hurt them

No matter how shitty it might feel in the moment, most of the time when someone comes to you to communicate a boundary or a need or a negative feeling about something you did, it is actually a compliment. They are telling you BECAUSE they care about you and want it to work between you and because they trust you to care to do better. If they didn't care about you, they'd just avoid you. That uncomfortable convo is in fact a declaration of love and trust. Or at least intention of friendship. If they didn't like you, they'd just try to avoid you whenever possible. They wouldn't care to have The Talk (which is often scary and uncomfortable for them also). So try to treat their trust with care, even if it really upsets you to learn that you've accidentally hurt them

what they dont tell you about strategy based games is that its hard if you’re stupid

2 years ago today (July 19th)

Reblog if your ask box is open.

Ask box always open bay bee

I work as a janitor and I feel like I’m gonna be thinking about this post a lot on the job