The Septic House

Chase Brody x Reader

No warnings, just tooth rotting fluff because I NEED happy Chase.

"What's up guys! My name's Chase and welcome to Bro Average! Now you might notice that I'm not with Bing today but that's because this is a special episode!” Chase talked to the camera with a huge smile on his face, his voice echoing in the kitchen. “That’s right! Today I’m joined here by the one and only Y/N!!!” He gestured to you wildly, clapping and hooting.

“I’m here to make sure Chase doesn’t blow up the kitchen! Have you even cooked before?” You raised an eyebrow at him with a smile.

“Excuse me, I will not tolerate this type of abuse on my channel! Yes, I've cooked before.” He responded with mock hurt, wiping away a fake tear. 

“Dinosaur chicken nuggets and mac & cheese don't count as baking Brody.” You laughed as his face flushed with embarrassment. 

“Alright shit talking aside, today instead of making a cake together we’re gonna be making each other cakes and the loser has to clean up the mess we’re gonna make!” Chase returned his attention back to the camera.

“I’m very excited to watch you clean the kitchen.” You cackle.   

“I’ll show you! This is gonna be the best goddamn cake anyone has ever seen!” He slammed the box of Betty Crocker cake mix down on the counter. “Today I’m going with a nice and moist double chocolate cake! Because it's a classic, but also because it’s your favorite.” 

“Never EVER say moist again but I do feel truly loved in this Chili’s tonight that you picked my favorite.” You chuckled at him. “I’m going with a nice angel food cake to make an absolutely dope strawberry shortcake.” 

“Sounds complex! Are you sure you’re up for the challenge babe?” Chase crossed his arms and looked down at you, a taunting smirk on his face.

“Bring it on Brody.” You returned the smirk.

“LETS BAAAAKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” He yelled, probably alerting the rest of the house, probably the rest of the country, that it was time. 

You both set out to your work, dancing around each other with precision. You snuck a glance at him and noticed his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth in determination, cute. He caught you looking and flashed a smile before coming closer.

“Looking at me isn’t gonna help you win.” Chase whispered teasingly, placing a kiss to your forehead as he grabbed an egg from next to you.

“Don’t flatter yourself, I was checking to see how badly youre fucking up my cake.” Your cheeks tinted pink and you returned focus to pouring the batter into the bowls.

“I don’t think you're supposed to put those in that kind of pan babe.” He pointed out. “What did you do with the box?” 

“Yeeted that fucker. I’ve done this before so I don't need a box.” You rolled your eyes at him, internally panicked that you actually weren't using the right pans.

“Risky move viewers! Let's see how it works out for them!” Chase pointed to the camera. 

“Don’t fucking British bake off me, I’m the Gorden Ramsay of cakes, youre like… uh… the damnit, edit that out.” You laughed at your own frustration to try to insult him.

“I’m keeping that in.” Chase didn’t even look up as he whisked his batter. You huffed but returned your attention back to the cake. You worked in a dead silence that consumed the entire kitchen that eventually ended when both of the cakes were put in the oven. 

“I’m gonna edit that last bit into a nice little montage. We can just chill while the cakes are baking.” He walked over to the camera and switched it off. He hesitated before turning around, fiddling with the knobs on the ring light. “Do you really think I'm bad at cooking? I mean… I've been trying to learn how to make more advanced things from Jameson but…”

“Cheese.” You walked over to him and held his cheeks with batter speckled hands. “I was just teasing you for the video, I think you’re really good at cooking and I really appreciate you and how much you try.” You leaned up on your tiptoes to place a kiss to his nose as he blushed.  

“I knew that… I was just uh... “ He took his hat off and ran a hand through his hair while he thought. “Thank you.” he sighed. 

“Of course Cheese, you gotta stop being so hard on yourself, but I do have to say I think I have this competition in the bag!” You reached up to boop his nose before hauling ass in the direction of the living room. He yelled after you but you ignored him and kept running, laughing all around the house until he cornered you in his streaming room. 

“Brody please, come on we can talk about this.” He crept in, hands at the ready for a tickle attack when thankfully the oven timer went off. You went to breathe a sigh of relief when he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. Despite laughing and screaming he didn’t put you down until you reached the kitchen, placing you on the counter. He adjusted the camera and filmed himself taking them out of the oven before placing them on top to cool. 

“Do you wanna play minecraft while we wait for them to cool off?” He took off the oven mitts and gestured to the living room. You shrugged and went to hop off the counter but he was faster and picked you up again, carrying you to the couch. You both played minecraft, snuggled into each other for who knows how long before returning to the kitchen to ice the cakes. You taunted each other, Chase flicked icing at you as you threw a strawberry at him. Eventually with the kitchen in even more of a mess, you showed your finished cakes to the camera. 

“Clearly mine is the best, look at that sprinkle action baby!” He tilted the cake to show it off to the camera. 

“Yeah but look at these fresh ass strawberries, the plating and presentation.” You took your turn to hype up your cake. You both gave each other a decent portion and handed the plate to the other, you took a big forkful of Chase’s and it was incredible. 

“Oh this is it. This is fuckin it. This is absolutely poggers, this is an angel food cake made by an actual angel!” Chase exclaimed dramatically after he took a bite of your cake. 

“Yours isn't too shabby either!” You said eating another slice. “So how do we pick the winner now, do we bring in someone else?” 

“Hmmm.” Chase paused for a moment to take a fork full off of your plate of his cake. “Nah, I think we’ll call it even, it's honestly a win just because we didn’t burn the house to the ground, or we let the viewers decide who won!” 

“Chase, they can’t eat the cakes.” You laughed and placed a finger full of whipped cream on his nose.

“That’s too bad this cake is pretty baller.” He said after he swallowed another bite. “Well that's all for this video folks! If you liked it, punch that like button IN THE FACE and high fives all around!” He gave you a high five that you weren't ready for and the plate you were holding fell to the ground as you both screamed. 

“GODDAMNIT NOT THE CAKE.” You cried looking down at what was definitely going to stain the floor. 

“I’ll edit that out.” He leaned down to place a kiss on your head.

Hello little eggs in my phone!!! Im opening a special request series because I'm so excited for Halloween that I'm taking old Egotober requests in August (and probably September)!!

Send me an ask with a number from the list below and whatever ego/ or ego pairing you want! (Rules and who i write for here!) You can be as specific as you want! But PLEASE specify if you want the number from the 2023 list or the 2024 list lol.

Happy hauntings! (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ)

Jameson:

A kind and soft hug where he runs a hand down your back gently. Soft, warm, and comforting 🥹

Anti:

Homie is not a hugger but if he's gonna hug you, its gonna be out of sight from everyone else and a hug from behind. Don't look at him 😮‍💨 he will tell you to fuck off (he doesn't mean it) and that this is a one time thing (its not).

Marvin:

His ass is DRAMATIC!!! Picking you up and spinning you around!! Hold on tight!

Jackie:

I hope you didn't like your bones 💀 he's crushing you in a hug. Jackie doesn't know his own strength sometimes, and unfortunately (or fortunately) giving hugs is one of those times.

Chase:

Chase needs a hug. Give him a hug, please!!!! He's been through so much 😭 he's gonna hold on to you like you're the only thing keeping him teathered to the earth. Big tight warm hugs 🥹

Henrik:

Also not one for physical affection but will hug you. Won't ever initiate the hug but will let you hold him for as long as you need.

Warnings: Cursing, Henriks is a little suggestive (sorry, I'm so down bad for him 😮‍💨), Anti's contains yelling and fighting but not physically. Under the cut because it's so long! Enjoy! :)

Henrik x Reader, gn reader, a little suggestive but mostly tooth rotting fluff!!!!! I'm still working on requests but I had a brain worm for my favorite boy!!!!!!! I love heeeeeeeeeeeee 💚💚💚

The sunlight streaked through the curtains, the gentle rays landing on Henrik’s head making the greys in his hair stick out more. You glanced down from your phone to take in the sight of it before he started to stir. He looked so at peace, chest rising and falling with every breath and it made you fall even deeper for him. 

“Good morning sunshine!” You smiled down at him.

“Hmph.” He groaned back waving an arm in the air and snuggled closer to you, moving his head from the pillow to your lap. You laughed softly and moved your hand to his head, gently playing with the strands. 

“Scheiße.” Henrik hissed out and shot up. “What time is it? I’m late for work! Why didn’t you say anything!!” 

“It’s your day off, Schneep, lay back down.” You laughed at his frazzled state. 

“Right…” He let his weight fall back onto the bed. 

“Sounds like you need to take more days off.” You chuckled, putting your hands back in his hair. 

“Yeah yeah.” He waved you off again, making himself more comfortable against you. 

“I’m serious.” You huff. 

“Hi serious, I’m doctor Schneeplestein.” Henrik laughed at you, head buried in the blankets muffling his voice. 

“The holy preacher of mental health has been ignoring his own mental health!” You roll your eyes. “Imagine if Chase worked himself to death like you’re doing.” 

“Yes Prinzessin, message heard loud and clear.” He turned over to lay on his back and look up at you. 

“Good.” You huffed again in mock annoyance. 

“Your bed head looks adorable.” His eyes locked with yours and you began to drown in their blue ocean as he moved closer. You let out a soft sigh as his lips met yours and he kissed you sweetly, taking his time to savor every second. You leaned down to kiss him more, his hands coming up to pull you down to him, your breath catching in your throat from the love you felt in that moment. 

“Ich liebe dich.” He said, lips hovering above yours.

“Your accent is too much in the morning, you're gonna give me a heart attack.” You mutter back before recapturing his lips.

“Good thing I’m a doctor, I’ll save you Liebling.” He let his voice deepen on the last word making your cheeks flush. “You were right, I do need to take better care of my mental health, I'd like to start by staying in bed with you all day, the rest would be good for us.” Henrik dove back in, his kisses getting a little sloppier with need. 

“GOOD MORNIN FUCKERS!!!!” The door was suddenly kicked open to reveal Chase with a nerf gun. “RISE AND SHINE! JAMIE MADE PUMPKIN CINNAMON PANCAKES!” 

“Good morning Chase.” You laughed as Henrik began cursing him out in German and throwing pillows at him as Chase shot nerf darts at him. Sensing that he wouldn’t win this battle Chase tucked and rolled back out the door. 

“Well I needed coffee anyway.” Henrik rolled his eyes, annoyed at the interruption.

“You’re gonna need your energy to stay in bed with me all day.” You teased, kissing his nose. 

“You.” Kiss. “Are.” Kiss. “So.” Kiss. “Right.” He managed to get out a coherent sentence before standing up and pulled you out of bed before throwing you over his shoulder. “Let's go before those heathens take all the pancakes. Jackie eats like a starving Victorian child.” 

Marvin x reader

Warnings: Self doubt, bad self-talk, the lightest of hurt/comfort.

✨️✨️✨️✨️💚✨️✨️✨️✨️

The rain poured down, not just like a normal summer storm, it was fucking pouring. Marvin, having just been fired from the sixth magic store in the last four months, was out walking home in it. No umbrella because he didn't know it was going to rain and no ride home because he didn’t want to admit his failure to anyone yet. He was soaked to the bone by the time he walked up the driveway, where he spotted your car, great the last person he wanted to disappoint right now. He walked in the door, letting his bag hit the hardwood floor with a thud and a gross squishy noise.

“Marvin?” Your voice called out to him as he went to walk up the stairs. He froze and weighed his options, wishing he could actually fucking vanish. “Fuck, Marvin you’re soaking wet, why didn’t you call me?” you frowned at his state. 

“I don’t wanna talk about it right now.” Marvin tried to make a dramatic sweep up the stairs with his cape but ended up flicking water everywhere. You stayed at the bottom of the steps, waiting. Afrer hearing his door slam shut, you make your descent back into the kitchen. You let the kettle boil as you planned your battle strategy. Two hot cups of tea, fresh clothes, and a blanket right out of the dryer later you made your way upstairs. 

“Marv?” You gently knocked on his door. No response. “Marv I have a ton of shit in my hands and I literally can't open the door.” You waited, then heard shuffling behind the door. He opened the door, still in his soaking wet clothes and a giant frown on his face that broke your heart. 

“Put these on, then drink this.” You handed him the dry clothes and the tea, he took it, a blush flushing his face. He had failed, why were you being so kind to him? Maybe you hadn’t put it together yet. 

“I got fired today.” Marvin exhaled the breath he had been holding since he walked in the door.

“I know.” You reply softly. He changed and then you led him back downstairs by the hand as he sipped his tea. “Sit.” you gestured to the recliner and he did as he was told. A blanket was draped over him as you tucked him in, you vanished for a moment then returned with a towel. Hocus Pocus was put on the tv while you dried his long green locks then combed gently through them.

“How do you feel?” You asked fidgeting with his top earring. 

“A Lot better” He sighed almost too content. 

“I don’t care that you got fired, none of us really do. You don’t have to work but I’m proud of you for trying your best.” You took his face in your hands smiling down at the magician. “Next time please just call me, you’re definitely gonna get sick and you can explain to Henrik why.” You gently dragged your fingers along his scalp. 

Anti x reader

Warnings: surprisingly none, Soft!Anti, cursing, mentions of violence.

✨️✨️✨️✨️💚🖤✨️✨️✨️✨️

Anti stood outside the Iplier manor, his anger festering making his glitches worsen. He was at the end of his rope, he had to be if he came here. He hesitated before knocking on the large wooden door. No one responded for a few moments, he started to change his mind, turning to walk away when the door flew open.

“Imposter Jim! What are you doing here?” Both of the Jim’s were standing in the doorway, Anti honestly wasn't sure which one spoke, but of course out of anyone it had to be these fuckers.

“Put the fucking camera down.” He sneered, Camera Jim slightly lowered the camera at the threat. “Where’s Dark?”

“Jim has just seen Emo Jim, the Jim’s can take you to him. Be very Jim!” Reporter Jim gestured to the step he had to go up as Anti deciphered he was trying to tell him to be careful in some fucked up Jim language.

The Jim’s walked in a weird squat walk up the stairs and around the house to what Anti assumed was Dark’s office door. Anti sent a silent thanks to gods he didn't believe in that he didn't see one of the five hundred other Iplier egos.

“This is as far as Jim dares Jim, good luck imposter Jim.” Reporter Jim warned him.

“Why the fuck am I imposter Jim? That was one fucking time. My name is Anti, two fuckin syllables.” Anti rolled his eyes, muttering to himself as the Jim’s left him. He opened the door, not even bothering to knock, strolling into the middle of the room. “What up fuck face.” He bid Dark a greeting who looked up from his paperwork, a little thrown off by seeing the glitch but angry nonetheless.

“Look what the cat dragged in.” Dark reshuffled his papers before standing up. “To what do I owe the pleasure of having your rank ass in my presence?”

“I’m not here to put on makeup with you.” Anti’s voice was bitter. “I need your help.”

“You need my help?” Dark’s face broke out into a wide, creepy grin.

“Listen fuck head, I don’t need your help…” Anti trailed off, looking down at his shoes, scuffing the tip of his converse into the hardwood floor. “But I would appreciate it.”

“Well well, what’s in it for me?” Dark was clearly amused by this.

“What do you want?” Anti sighed, not making eye contact with the other entity.

“I want you to ask nicely.” Dark taunted.

“Fuck you. Why can’t I like pay you or something?” Anti said with anger.

“Tick tock, I’m a busy man, do you want help or not?” Dark tapped his watch.

“Can you.” Anti stopped, the tips of his elvish ears on fire. “Please.” He spit the word out like it was poison in his mouth. “Help me.”

“Of course I can.” Dark laughed a deep rumble that seemed to be everywhere in the room. “What does whittle Anti need so badly that he had to come to big bad Dark for help?”

“How do I…” Anti looked down at the floor and muttered something.

“What did you say? Speak up.” Dark thought he misheard him… it sounded like he said…

“How do I impress a girl?” Anti said louder. “Fucking hell, Trust me youre the last person I wanted to come to, but despite your makeup and your shitty personality, you seem to have luck with people. On like...dates.”

“Oh my… you're serious aren't you?” Dark went to laugh at him again but stopped when he noticed the glitch looked like he was on the verge of angry crying.

“Feeling human emotions isn’t usual for me, and I figured since you're like me you'd know what this feeling is. She’s just so… fuck…” Anti sighed and rubbed at his eyes with the edge of his hoodie sleeve.

“You’ve come to the right place.” Dark leaned back against his desk and crossed his arms. “So what does she like?”

“She reads all those romance books, probably wants a knight in shining armor to sweep her off her feet, someone to kiss her in the rain, ya know, shit like that, stuff I have not a fucking clue about.” Anti threw his hands up.

“You simpleton, you’ve just said the answer.” Dark huffed, but Anti still looked clueless. “Flowers, roses specifically, candles for mood lighting, you could maybe try to be a little less brash, tell her with your words how you feel... oh and chocolates.” Dark offered.

“What are you insinuating with the brash comment?” Anti’s anger flared up causing him to glitch slightly.

“Nothing, nothing.” Dark waved him off with a chuckle. “Is there anything else you need or is that sufficient?”

“That’ll do. Thanks Dark, maybe you’re not half bad for a drama queen.” Anti said before he glitched out of the room, not giving Dark a chance to respond.

“Did you get that?” Dark asked once Anti was gone.

“The Jim’s got it all, do not worry emo Jim!”

“Very good.”

----

Anti wasn’t sure how many roses to get so he had cleared out an entire section of them, watching with joy as people came up looking for flowers and found none. He clipped a couple and put them in a vase, taking the pedals off others and scattering them around his room. He placed the chocolates on his dresser next to a couple of candles he had found around the house, lighting them with slightly shaking hands. Why was he so nervous? It was just a dumb human emotion, so what if they didn’t even return his ‘feelings’.

Oh.

What if they didn’t return his feelings…

He started spiraling, his heart hammered against his ribs and he took a deep breath before there was a knock at his door.

“Anti?” Your voice rang out from the staircase and his heart rate went even faster.

“What?” He shot back, accidentally making his voice sound annoyed.

“What the fuck do you mean what? You texted me to come up here at 8?” You sounded mildly upset, not good. Oh that's not good.

He kicked some stray clothes under his bed and gave himself one more check in the mirror before walking over and opening the door.

“Hi.” He said softly, taking in your outfit, nothing fancy, just your usual pj pants and a band t-shirt.

“You okay? You’ve been acting weird all day.” You raised an eyebrow at him. He had texted you to meet him at a park, then changed it to a restaurant, then finally settled on you coming over to the Septic house to hang out in his room.

“I-I…” He quickly pulled you in and closed the door behind you. As he took a step back from you, he suddenly understood what Dark meant about him being brash. He had to find his words. “I did this for you.” He gestured to the rest of the room.

You took it in, eyes going wide at the sight of the usually messy room that was clean for once and covered in rose petals. You started to tear up.

“Why are you crying? Is it too much? Dark told me…”

“You went to Dark?” You turned to him with a laugh, eyes still welled up with tears.

“I didn't want to but I wanted to...impress you.” The tips of his ears were so warm they had to be on fire by now.

“Anti I’m impressed that you actually cleaned your room, the rest is overkill.” You walked over to him and wrapped your arms around him in a tight hug.

"I need you to listen to me." He placed both his hands on your shoulder and his heterochromiac eyes locking with yours. He looked so serious, usually he was a little asshole prankster and you braced yourself for what would come next.

"I-I like you. Like I like you in like a romantic way... I think? I've never felt this way about anyone before so I'm not sure, but when I see you I get all flustered and i like want to spend all my time with you and I get jealous when you hang out with the other egos and its okay if you don't feel the same way I just needed to... say this I guess?" Anti word vomits into the air that is now thick with tension.

You laugh.

Much to his dismay, you laugh in his face. Not just a normal laugh, you are throwing your head back and laughing. Anti can feel the anger growing under his skin, it creeps up his spine and wraps its self around his heart. He's devastated.

"You're so dumb." You finally manage to choke out. Another blow to his system. He thinks about glitching away, he thinks about going back to Dark and beating the shit out of him for leading him astray.

"Anti." You sigh and take his face in your hands, he wants to rip himself out of your grasp but he lets you hold him. Before he has another thought he feels something soft against his lips.

"Oh she's kissing me????" His brain short circuits and he's acting without thinking when he pulls you closer to him and is kissing you back. His anger dissipates as fast as it appeared and his heart soars. Anti's hands come up to gently grab your face, he wants to be closer to you, like you're a light in a dark ocean, his lungs are burning but he doesn't care he wants to stay like this forever.

"I've been in love with you for so long you idiot." You pull away just enough to mutter against his lips.

"With me??" Anti is dumbfounded for like the twentieth time today.

"I tried to hard to make it obvious, reading romance books in front of you, forcing you to watch sappy movies with me, Christ we even listened to a full Hozier album while laying on the floor together??" You pulled back to look at him, a little bit astounded.

"I just thought you liked doing those things!" He put his hands up in defense.

"Oh Anti." You laughed again and this time he loved the sound, he wanted to remember it forever, set it as his ringtone so he could hear it all the time, okay maybe that was a little much.

"You're thinking too hard, I can see steam coming out of your ears." You tease him, pinching the end of his long ears.

"Can I kiss you again?" He asks, ignoring the heat in his cheeks from your comment.

"I'd be offended if you didn't." You smiled at him and pulled him back in for another kiss.

[Kit's Dialogue Prompts Master List]

I think a week alone in the forest might fix me. 

It’s worth a shot, what else could go wrong? 

This lie is so big it involves paperwork and a notary. 

You do not need to buy [X] to get someone to like you. 

I’ll be on the first train out of here.  

What year are you from? 

What’s worse than pulling teeth, because whatever that is, this is that. 

You could start off by explaining to me what exactly you think you’re doing with my kid in the middle of the night when they have school in the morning. 

I’m really curious how you thought you could possibly pull this off. 

You don’t go to war if you’re looking for a good man, and I think that was your first mistake. 

You’re the kind of person even a buttercup wouldn’t shine on.  

If you don’t hear from me in an hour, assume that I’ve died and hold a beautiful memorial in my honor; I want there to be music, and flowers, and you had better cry, goddamn it. 

I’d have made a lovely widow(er). 

You’re not going to like the way this turns out for you.  

Did you just call me honey? Because, honey, I have a name, it’s a really good name, I fought hard for it, and you will use it when addressing me, or speaking about me at all. 

And I think I’d be much happier getting a pedicure by the prettiest girl at the salon with a mai tai in one hand and my other on your thigh, but we can’t all get what we want, sweetheart.  

As one might expect, we have failed spectacularly. 

At least you had fun. 

This may not be the hill I’m going to die on, but someone is if you don’t learn to shut your mouth.  

I could show you.  

👕Appearance

What is your character's favorite physical trait they possess?

What would your character wear if they were told they had to gussy up?

Is there something about your character's appearance that they would change if possible?

Does your character have a favorite material they like to wear?

What are your character's opinion on scars?

How much interest does your character take in trends?

Is there someone your character tries to look similar to?

Does your character have a physical trait that they're known for?

What does your character smell like?

If your character could splurge on a particular garment, what would it be?

Is your character's favorite color a color they wear often?

Has your character gone through major stylistic or physical changes?

What is something your character would refuse to wear?

Is there a style your character is afraid they can’t pull off?

Would your character wear something someone else picked out for them?

Is your character's appearance more telling or deceiving?

What are your character's thoughts on wearing costumes?

Does your character have a favorite outfit?

If your character had to get a tattoo what would it be?