The School of Laughter

Confessions and Guilt: Complicity Makes Us Laugh

“Complicity is the only understanding.”

Nadine Gordimer

Almost every time we laugh, there is some form of agreement, understanding, insight more importantly complicity. While we witness the story of a friend or a comedian, we understand and see it in our lives, it can happen to us. It may even have happened to some of us, or we may feel embarrassed or ashamed on behalf of the storyteller. When everyone else is laughing, laughing help us to regulate our emotions and feel less guilty. French philosopher Henry Bergson in his classic ‘Laughter: An Essay on the Meaning of the Comic’ writes: “However spontaneous it seems, laughter always implies a kind of secret freemasonry, or even complicity, with other laughers, real or imaginary.”

When we laugh together, it is a bonding experience because we understand and share the complicity, perhaps at times feel guilty for laughing as if we are approving it. Yet laughter comes as a welcome relief to ease the tension, caused by the guilt of the misdemeanours and faults.

Invariably in larger groups, the complicity becomes stronger, people almost laugh in a synchronised chorus. Bergson again points out:

“How often has it been said that the fuller the theatre, the more uncontrolled the laughter of the audience! On the other hand, how often has the remark been made that many comic effects are incapable of translation from one language to another, because they refer to the customs and ideas of a particular social group!”

One of the good ways to create laughter is to make them complicit to your misdemeanours, failings, mistakes, wrongdoings and embarrassments. There is no end to what one can confess to, from the most trivial to some more serious embarrassing situations. Comedians are master of this technique, invariably you will hear the most absurd and wonderful confessions. Not all confessions are necessarily true, nor truth should be an obstacle on the way of a great confession.

Keith Johnstone in his 'Impro for Storytellers’ lists a number of ways you can confess and accept guilt on stage. Some of the ideas below can also be used with friends and family, here is the list:

“Apologize. Confess, e.g. hit and run driver; you sat on a small pet; you were unjust; you stole something; left the bath dirty, etc. Avoid people’s eyes, hang head. Whatever you do, over-explain the reasons for it. Embarrass someone and feel terrible. You forgot to close fridge, gate, airlock, etc. Help people more than they need. Be over-concerned. Borrowed something and didn’t return it. Help people incompetently. Often say, 'Is it all right?’, 'Do you mind?’, etc. Set objects or people on fire. You lied about using contraception. You told someone’s secret. You broke a religious rule.”

When we laugh with complicity, we also recognise that others are as bad as we are in not keeping with the social rules. Complicity helps us to see the ourselves in others. Also we understand the guilt of the other person and feel some guilt ourselves too. Practising with some small confessions can also help in building courage toward sharing more important ones. Perhaps a guilt confessed may not make you feel as guilty or if that confession cause an uproar of laughter. This may also be a small step in being able to laugh at yourself. And this can only be a good thing.

Nat Tsolak

We can always tell whether someone is faking laughter or laughing just to be polite and courteous. Polite laughter is part of the social etiquette, in conversation, at parties and at work we often resort to a fake laugh as a sign of acknowledgement and approval. At times we even feign laughter to show generosity and graciousness.

While all these acts may appear to be commendable and lofty, it is possible the other person is thinking that you are being ironic, patronising, laughing at their expense, being unfriendly, nervous, being aggressive and ridiculing them. In short, polite laughter can be the most impolite type of laughter.

Peter Mcgraw PhD in his book ‘Humor Code: A Global Search For What Makes Things Funny’ (2014) points out on the biological development of laughter to signify that things are OK, there is no more physical danger to be concerned and it now time to relax and have fun. Then over the thousands of years of human evolution a new form of laughter appeared, things had to be funny. In an aim to take advantage of the positive  effects of laughter on others, humans evolved to mimic laughter.

Peter Mcgraw points out and quotes a research by Gairvais and Wilson: “non Duchenne laughter came to occur in aggressive, nervous, or hierarchical contexts, functioning to signal, to appease to manipulate, to deride, or to subvert.”

Next time you are faking laughter or just being polte, you maybe laughing at your peril.

Nat Tsolak

We caught up with actor and improv comedy teacher Mark Phoenix

What is the last thing that made you laugh out loud?

Children being brought up on stage for a pantomime.

What is your own favourite joke?

Duck goes into a chemist and asks for grapes. The chemist says this is not a greengrocers, you need to go down the road, turn left and you will see it. Next day same thing.  ... Repeated ad nauseum until the chemist says ' if you ask for grapes once more, I'm going to nail your little webbed feet to the floor'. Next day the duck comes in to the chemist and says 'have you got any nails?' 'No.' have you got any grapes!

What book changed your life?

No one book has had a massive impact, but the reading of many books accumulates small impacts.

What books are currently on your bedside table?

'Hallucinations' by Oliver Sachs. '3rd QI Book of General Ignorance' and 'Einstein's Riddle' by Jeremy Stangroom.

What is your favourite one-liner?

My own line- actors are society's emotional front-line troops. Not funny but its one line

Do you have a comedy writing routine?

I don't write comedy per se.

What keeps you awake during the night?

Mind-worms

When did you know you were going to be comedian?

1987 but I still am not one

Who is your comedy inspiration?

Spike, Python or Tim Minchin

What is your most memorable heckle experience?

I once heckled Alexi Sayle and Keith Allen. I was invited on stage by them told them i had often felt one in the dark but not actually seen one before, i.e. calling them a c***.

What is the best and worst thing of being a comedian?

The worst thing about not being a comedian, is the lack of forum for making a point. The best thing about not being a comedian is not having to hang around self-obsessed loners..

What is your take on life and death?

Music is the interruption of silence, dance is the interruption of stillness, so life is the interruption of nothingness.

Famous last words?

No more mr nice guy.

‘A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.’

William Shakespeare

How would it feel like to have one’s own fool like the kings and queens of the times past. Henry the VIII had William Sommers as his fool. The role of the fool was to entertain the king while keeping him in touch with the reality, daring to tell truth when nobody else could because of fear of their life. In addition, Sommers consoled Henry during difficult times, petitioned for justice and mercy when he saw injustice in the court.

Indeed, many court jesters, did end up in the gallows as the truth was too much to bear. Sommers though, did keep his head and went on serving Mary, Henry’s daughter. Sommers was a gift from Cardinal Wolsey, what an apt gift from the Church to the Monarchy. Today, this is like the Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby, hiring Eddy Izzard or Michael McIntyre to entertain and advise David Cameron. An inhouse comedian is a perfect antidote against the political and corporate hubris.

The Shakespearean fool is present in almost every play of William Shakespeare. The Fool in King Lear is perhaps the quintessential Shakespearean fool, he is free and not afraid to speak his mind. Jan Kott, in his ‘Shakespeare Our Contemporary’ (1967)writes: “The Fool does not follow any ideology. He rejects all appearances, of law, justice, moral order. He sees brute force, cruelty and lust. He has no illusions and does not seek consolation in the existence of natural or supernatural order, which provides for the punishment of evil and the reward of good. Lear, insisting on his fictitious majesty, seems ridiculous to him. All the more ridiculous because he does not see how ridiculous he is. But the Fool does not desert his ridiculous, degraded king, and accompanies him on his way to madness. The Fool knows that the only true madness is to recognize this world as rational.”

We have a close affinity with many comedians as they tell us the truth and help us see aspects of ourselves in a way that we often shy away from acknowledging or sharing with others. How would it feel to discover that fool in our lives on a regular basis. We often are unable to see the woods for the trees, this is specially with our finances and relationships. It is very easy to get carried away with retail therapy for example, instead of paying off the credit card bills or the mortgage. This is the same for the deceit and exploitation in our personal relationships. Also how about the times we take ourselves far too seriously, riding on a high horse?

We all have an inner fool, lurking behind, waiting for the opportune moment to come out. Every time we come face to face with our own absurdity and the paradox of life we get in touch with our inner fool. The Fool is one of the 12 archetypes in Carl Jung’s psychology. Jung included the fool in the ‘self type’s, a subsection of the archetypes, the others being the sage, the magician and the ruler. The fools motto is 'you only live once’. The Fool with a talent for joy and spontaneity, lives in the moment, is funny and makes others laugh, aims to lighten up oneself and the world. Greatest fear of the fool is the routine, getting bored and boring others.

The more we laugh at ourselves and our shortcomings, the more we are in touch with the fool, the funny, playful trickster, joker, jester, the practical joker and the inner comedian.

Nat Tsolak

Limits of Language: Philosophy, Comedy & Jokes

“The Limits of my language means the limits of my world”. Ludwig Wittgenstein

Language defines and limits our world, in so far us we can only express ourselves, our feelings within the confines of the language we learn. For some of us, the languages we speak and live with is not even our mother tongue. Can one ever express oneself with the freedom and self expression of a native speaker of a specific language. We often retort to generalisations, clichés and quotes to express ourselves. Sometimes the way we feel is not easy to express with language.

Comedy and jokes offer a perspective that we often don’t see in our day to day conversations. Wordplay in jokes, double entendre and puns may seem funny from the outset, often have a wisdom behind it, some obviously more trivial than others. One of the most prominent and influential philosophers of the 20th Century, Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951), who was a stern and a serious man, once said that “a serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes”.

Tomas Cathcard and Daniel Klein in their bestseller, ‘Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes’ (2014) have done just that. Cathcard and Klein write that:

“Holding two mutually contradicting ideas in our heads at the same time makes us giddy. But most significantly, you can tell a tricky paradox at a party and get a good laugh. Here’s an old comedy routine that seems to come straight out of Zeno:

Salesman: Ma’am, this vacuum cleaner will cut your work in half.Customer: Terrific! Give me two of them.”

Often a very difficult situation or feeling can be conveyed jokingly. There is a joke there in our life’s paradoxes and it helps us to cope with life when we see the funny. Finally as inimitable Questin Crisp said “Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.”

Nat Tsolak

“The desire for high status is never stronger than in situations where “ordinary” life fails to answer a median need for dignity and comfort.”   Alain de Botton, Status Anxiety 

There is something inherently odious talking about social status. We grow up by learning that we are all equal and that we live in an egalitarian society. In spite the apparent equality within the society we strive for power, authority and higher social status. This can manifest itself in many ways, such as with a new flashy car or the biggest house or the exotic holidays.

The reality of life is that, in order to build health, fulfilling relationships we have to be aware of the status transactions. Successful and happy individuals are particularly good in decoding the social statues cues and act in accordance. While this may not be obvious for most of us, it is something that we do already do in our social engagements.

Philosopher Alain de Botton in his ‘Status Anxiety’ explains that:  “Every adult life could be said to be defined by two great love stories. The first - the story of our quest for sexual love - is well known and well charted, its vagaries form the staple of music and literature, it is socially accepted and celebrated.  The second - the story of our quest for love from the world - is a more secret and shameful tale. If mentioned, it tends to be in caustic, mocking terms, as something of interest chiefly to envious or deficient souls, or else the drive for status is interpreted in an economic sense alone. And yet this second love story is no less intense than the first, it is no less complicated, important or universal, and its setbacks are no less painful. There is heartbreak here too.” 

Social psychologist James Pennebaker in his 'Secret Life of Pronouns: What Our Words Say About Us’ (2011) lists a number of non-verbal and verbal cues to identify the dominant behaviour. Here is the non-verbal cues:

1- Loudness: People of high status speak louder than the low status people

2- Interruptions: High status people are more likely to interrupt the conversations than low status people.

3- Physical proximity: High status people take more personal space and are closer than low status people.

4- Physical openness: High status people take more physical space, adopt more open body language than low status people. They extend outwards with hands, arms and the whole body.

These are the most obvious behaviours that can be noticed immediately. Keith Johnstone expands on this further in his book 'Impro’ with physical actions to increase or decrease ones status.

Here is the verbal cues that can be seen also in the written language:

1- Low usage of the 'I’, 'me’ and 'my’ words. High status use less of self-referral pronouns than low status people 

2- High usage of 'we’, 'our’ and 'us’. Higher status people use the plural noun more than low status people.

3- Higher use of 'you’ and 'your’. People of higher status are more focused on the other person or the group.

4- It’s the way you say it and no what you say it. The deeper tone of voice, the pace you talk, allowing longer silences are clear indicator of status and control.

One easy way of identifying your on verbal status is looking at your own correspondence. See how many times you have been using the pronoun 'I’ as opposed to your friends. See how you communicate with your boss and how they write back to you. Who has the more self-referral pronouns, you or your boss?

Nat Tsolak

We don’t immediately see a direct connection between innovation, complex thinking and comedy. Charles Duhigg, in his highly acclaimed book ‘The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business’ (2013) points out that “when you dream up a new invention or laugh at a friend’s joke, it’s the outside parts of your brain at work. That’s where the most complex thinking occurs.“ 

Comedy, jokes and laughter engages part of the brain where the complex thinking occurs. With comedy, we are tapping into the creative side of the brain that we don’t often engage nor utilise. Considering the time and effort that goes into creating a joke, specially bringing disparate elements together to make it funny, provoke laughter, the need complex thinking behind is perfectly understandable.

Creativity that drives the innovation is based on bringing disparate elements that may not be obvious in the first instance. The world of comedy, improvisation, stand-up, joke writing provides an accessible playground to practice just that. Being trained in comedy and joke writing, either improvised or a stand up practice builds a skill that is directly transferable in life and business. This is especially the case if you are an entrepreneur or you are looking to become one.

Comedy training and practice provides the very habit that is fundamental in business and life. The world of comedy provides an ideal playground in this respect. The most important is that, it is based on emotional connections with a smile or laughter. The power to create an emotional reaction by getting the audience to laugh can be immensely rewarding in itself.

Nat Tsolak

Improv & The Joy of Getting Things Wrong

“In improv there are no mistakes, only beautiful happy accidents. And many of the world’s greatest discoveries have been by accident.“

Tina Fey, Bossypants

Improv is a playground for life where you can get hings wrong and there is no recourse. The worst that can happen is everybody will laugh at you, or you laugh at yourself. I have never enjoyed getting things wrong as much as I have done in improv comedy.

Though  it must be said with a caution, in the beginning, it takes so much effort allowing yourself to fail, to get things wrong. We constantly struggle to get it right, this is specially the case where there needs to be an outcome, a deliverable. Even if this deliverable is a laugh, if they are not laughing and it’s not funny it’s wrong. This is an oxymoron, more often than not, in improv you need to get it wrong to get a laugh as opposed to get it right.

Invariably every single improv game and exercise is set up to make you fail in some form. It’s far more fun if you fail than getting the exercise right. While we try to get the exercises right, we end up getting wrong. Provided that you accept to get it wrong, then you can in fact get the exercise right. It does take a long time to appreciate how we respond in certain circumstances, more importantly how to let go of getting things right. This is the case when we have other people witnessing us not being able to get things right.

For example, one of the simplest exercises in improv is the Alphabet game. A game for storytelling practice, you start every sentence with the first letters of the alphabet. It can be played in pairs, in a group or on your own. The story can be on any random topic, or you don’t need need to have a topic. Every time I play this game, I forget letters from the alphabet, specially towards the middle and end. This is simply because of my anxiety to remember the next letter. The more I try to recall the next letter, the harder it becomes. The less I think about the next letter of the alphabet, the easier it becomes. Try it and see how you fare on this game.

When the stakes are high, we are being judged and there is an outcome, we get stressed and the desire to get it right becomes far more important. Though with an ongoing practice in improv, you may end up becoming immune to the anxiety of getting things right. Well then, this provides you with far more choice and freedom to think. In an interview situation for example, you needn’t concern yourself giving the right answer or what is the right answer. There are infinite number of answers to a question like ‘where do you see yourself in five years time?’ A cliche question, surprisingly still often asked, coming up with a cliche answer may not get you through the interview.

All this applies well in a improv comedy training,  workshop environment. If you are on the stage and performing, you do have to get it right as the audience expects to have a laugh. Improv comedy also has its own rules of the game, trying to get those right is also another trap. Mastering the art of getting things wrong does take a long time as we have to fight against a lifetime trying to get things right.

Accepting that we will never get it right, it can and it will always be wrong, is immensely freeing. There is a certain joy in giving the permission to oneself in getting things wrong. I’d like to finish with a quote by Philip Roth, in the American Pastoral(1997) he wrote:

“The fact remains that getting people right is not what living is all about anyway. It’s getting them wrong that is living, getting them wrong and wrong and wrong and then, on careful reconsideration, getting them wrong again. That’s how we know we’re alive: we’re wrong.”

 Nat Tsolak

With laughter, we expose our true feelings about our friends, family and colleagues. Our laugh can be an invitation to play, at the time time a tool to deride and belittle people. Most of us have experienced or heard people saying to us 'what are you laughing at?'.

In one instance, I was at an improv comedy course upstairs in a pub. The entrance was right next to the male bathrooms. I was laughing at a scene played by few improvisers on the stage, I was still laughing at the improvisers as I was looking at him. The teacher noticed the incident and he said, "now he thinks you are laughing at him."

One of the participants went downstairs to the pub few minutes later. When she was back, she seemed seriously shaken. The guy going in the toilet was besides himself with anger, ready to punch me because I laughed at him. Needless to say, I stayed put until the end of the course, simply there wasn't any way of rectifying this situation without getting into a serious fight.

When we laugh we expose our true feelings aboit somebody. When we feel laughed at we again expose our true feelings about our own insecurities. Stand up comedians play with those insecurities, mostly exposing their own neuroses. Some comedians like Woody Allen have become true masters of self disclosure.

We become complicit to their anxieties when we laugh at them. This is either we feel the same way or simply it's just impossible we self regulate by laughing. Laughter helps to ease the inner anxiety and cope with the absurdity presented right in front of us.

We are emotionally naked when we laugh.

Nat Tsolak

Please see www.theschooloflaughter.com for our next course

Reading yet another research that spending time on Facebook makes you more depressed, I realised the main source of negativity is my life is coming through, you guested it, is Facebook.

It reminds of my village square back in Greece, people rejoice is sharing bad news, the one who shares the worst gets the attention. By nature we are more drawn to bad news than good news, we’d also more likely to recall bad news than good news. I see myself remembering some of the negative posts during the day. It does affect my mood dramatically.

Given that we have no control over what our friends sharing, invariably we are subjected to a barrage of negativity that never ends. We can choose to turn on the news, while with Facebook isn’t as easy. Living in a Facebook reality we have an intangible and irritating view of the world.

More time we spend on Facebook, less happy we become. This is simply because we become more isolated and alienated from our own day to day reality. In addition, the more isolated we become, the more socially inept we become. We forget how to engage and interact people in real life. Build strong bonds, friendships that can last. With Facebook, we lose our social and communication skills. Simplest forms of interacting with people in real life may become a challenge.

The improv comedy workshops and trainings, offer a quick, accessible, communication tools that you can immediately put into practice. Improv comedy provide a safe, happy space to rehearse social interactions, often awkward, unexpected and challenging. Workshops and Improv trainings provides an ideal playground to practice building strong relationships.

Improv comedy training is based on building strong active listening skills. Listening, perhaps the fundamental skill in communication. We all want to be listened to, not with a listening that comes from the mind but with a listening that comes from an emotional space, from the heart.

Connecting people from the heart, well that’s where the key to happiness lies.

Nat Tsolak

Chris Guillebeau in his 'The Happiness of Pursuit: Finding the Quest That Will Bring Purpose in Your Life' advices on the ways that you can find happiness through the quest of happiness. The ways that you can find happiness is to stand for something, take risks, being a rebel with a cause, adventures and finding the adventures that are waiting for you by going out of your way in pursuit of adventures.  Doing something that scares you every day,  going off the beaten track, visit every country in the word, failures, troubles and mistakes.

In  short, run yourself into the ground in the pursuit of happiness and die pursuing happiness. Otherwise life isn't worth living, you are a vegetable and wasted your whole existence. Your existed counted for nothing and nobody will remember you. If you haven't been the hero you are always destined to be,  well, you are not trying hard enough.

Lucy Danziger and Catherine Birndorf MD in their 'The Nine Rooms of Happiness', identify 9 'rooms' for happiness. The rooms are: the bedroom, the bathroom, the family room, the basement, the living room, the kitchen, the child's room, the office and the attic. This is a psychiatrist's way to happiness by putting your emotional house in order. Once you take control of your health, weight, family issues, sex life, career, friends, emotional baggage then you may be happy.

In short, rehab your emotional house and be happy. The authors generously included a tenth room, thinking of yourself, the meaning of life and what makes you happy. Happiness as a pursuit of perfection of relationships with oneself and everybody else.

Martin Seligman, founder of Positive Psychology and world authority on happiness, in his book 'Flourish’, sets a new agenda for Positive Psychology and a new path to happiness with a well-being theory. Seligman identifies 5 scientifically measurable, evidence based ways that one can flourish and attain happiness as a consequence. These are: positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning and achievement. Summarised under the PERMA acronym as a key to happier life.

In short, get into the flow experience, find your flow, look after yourself physically and emotionally. Engage with life, be mindful, count your blessings, find meaning in what you do, be grateful and cultivate positive emotions. You can also do the MAPP (Masters in Applied Positive Psychology) to find your way to happiness.

The above three books are a fairly representative sample of the Western way of pursuit of happiness. We all have our own way to happiness, including finding happiness and meaning through retail therapy, good food and all those worldly pleasures money can buy.

Reading through each one of the above books, plus plenty of others on happiness, most of us realise how unquantifiable and unattainable happiness is. The books detail a number of conditions, summed up under various themes under an umbrella that can be described as the 'pursuit of happiness'. The pursuit presupposes plenty of leisure, health and wealth to set yourself in the journey of happiness.

While, happiness may well be in all those above, the most quantifiable in our minds and scientifically speaking, the simplest, the easiest, most attainable, evidence based, most accessible and practiced both humans and animals is the smile. Happiness is the pursuit of a smile.

"The intensity of smiling in the 1952 Baseball Register photos predicted how long players would live, with those showing genuine (Duchenne) smile living seven years longer than those not smiling".

Martin Seligman, Flourish, 2011

You can find a smile with everyone, within, without, in nature, in other people, in the absurdity of life. Smiling is an attitude, is a way of dealing with life, it is a way of accepting the reality as it is. If you set yourself in the pursuit of smile you may find it in more places than you think.

Here is a daily practice, before you go to bed, write down 3 things that made you smile during the day. If you haven't smiled during that day at all, look at the lists from previous days. See whether that makes any difference on how much you smile.

Nat Tsolak

While exploring ways to improve my writing and writing styles, I recently came across to Raymond Queneau's classic 'Exercises in Style'. I was listening a Radio 4 program on the arcane Oulipo method, Raymond Queneau name was mentioned.

As I've always been concerned about my writing, I was intrigued by this book, 'Exercises in Style'. I was excited to receive a copy in the post and read through it. I was pleasantly surprised how funny, amusing and playful it is.

This is a short book, you can read it in one sitting. It is essentially 99 version of a simple short story. The ideas are endless on how you can play with the written text, explore ideas and possibilities of writing. As per Umberto Eco's prologue, Queneau is not looking to provide an exhaustive list of exercises in style. He is exploring the style in a far more intricate way that the mere titles of the exercises indicate.

Below I am exploring some of the styles by Robert Queneau, aiming to practice the same text with 99 of them. Here is a true short story I picked for this exercise. It's written on my own quasi casual style.

We are going back almost 8 years, a Christmas and New Year holiday period I went travelling for two weeks with a friend. We went on a tour of Turkey from Istanbul all the way down to Ankara, Konya and back. It was all very adventurous, long and arduous trip, not the best time of the year for this type of journey.

When I returned home, I found my house with boarded up windows and doors. It was broken into and police had secured the house. They ransacked the house looking for valuables, all light electrical items were gone, including the laptop and even some of my amber cufflinks. After that incident, I never felt safe in that house and sold in in the same year. A hard lesson that I learned from this experience is: never the leave the house unattended over the holiday periods.

Same story with:

1- Rainbow style

It was a holiday season in London with green Christmas trees in almost every house window, decorated with red bulbs. They were all lit  up during the night, some during the day, with flashing orange lights. We decided to go on this rather unfortunate holidays in Turkey midwinter with the almost all country under a white canopy of snow. After a two weeks of travelling on crowded busses where dark brown Turkish teas were served, I returned home with even a paler skin and with dark black shadows around my eyes from lack of sleep.

Upon my return wearing a crimson scarf, I discovered to my dismay, my house was burgled on dark winter's night. The windows were bungled up with metallic grey panels. It was curtesy of the local police, they came to see me after with their dark blue uniforms. I was so shocked by the whole experience, my face was red with anger and blue with frustration. I remember my eyes turning red, I had a burst blood vessel on my right eye. Every Christmas and New Year I remember those. I was in bed few weeks after this whole experience with flue, I was so pale when I looked at the mirror I'd become a dark shadow of my previous self.

2- Song style

I am on my way to an adventure trip, It's winter time, I hope it goes without a blip. It's Christmas, it's Christmas and I am going to Turkey Turkey in winter, it's a cold Turkey, It's a cold Turkey.

I drink plenty of teas to keep me warm, Holidays in midwinter has its own charm. It's Christmas in Turkey, It's Christmas in Turkey This year I will not eat turkey as I am in Turkey.

I come home on a winters night, My house broken into without a fight. The turkey is gone with the stolen, And the whole fine china was broken.

This Christmas it's a cold turkey, it's a cold turkey, This Christmas it's a cold turkey, it's a cold turkey.

3- Dream style

I was rushing to the airport making sure that I arrive to the airport on time. The taxi that supposed to be arriving 5AM and it was late. Suddenly I find myself floating over Istanbul. I didn't realise what I was going on, I must have panicked I landed on my feet in front of the Blue Mosque in midst of a large crowd of tourists. I thought to myself, this place is so touristic even this time of the year. Then I was on a bus travelling inside Turkey over snowy hills, we were going hinterland, not sure where exactly. I remember I was scared as I'd read about the accidents and busses slipping off the read because of ice.

Suddenly, I am back home, inside my house. Everything in the house seemed all over the place. The whole house was boarded up, I felt there was nowhere to escape. As walked inside my bedroom it was now obvious that the house was broken into and I got burgled. Suddenly got scared in case they come back. I woke with a cream in my bed sweating like buckets. It took me few seconds to realise, it was all just a nightmare.

More styles to come.  If you have a story that you'd like to practice with the styles above, you can add them as comments below.

Nat Tsolak

Here is a list of 501 things I smile about. Why not start your own daily list with 10 things that make you smile. Well, what's in a smile?

"The intensity of smiling in the 1952 Baseball Register photos predicted how long players would live, with those showing genuine (Duchenne) smile living seven years longer than those not smiling".

Martin Seligman, Flourish, 2011

You can add an extra 10 or 20 if you have more. Listing and remembering everything that made you smile, may also make you smile.

1- The chirping birds in the garden 2- Waking up in the morning 3- Making an expresso in the morning with the Italian coffee maker. 4- The autumn leaves falling 5-Writing this list 6- Opening the blinds in the morning 7- Hearing the sound of the rain from my bedroom 8- Snuggling under the duvet 9- Receiving a new book through the post 10- Going for a walk in the local park 11- Yoga on Wednesday morning 12- Planning the next holiday to Spain 13- Going to a friend's party 14- Eating ice cream 15- Making a Chinese chilly prawn curry 16- Eating my mother's soup for breakfast 17- Going the local grocery 18- Having a haircut 19- Washing the dishes and cleaning the sink 20- Walking into a clean bathroom 21- Combing my hair in the morning 22- Remembering the name of someone that I haven't seen for a long time 23- Hearing from a friend I haven't seen for a while 24- Having a glass of Rioja 25- Eating freshly fried halloumi cheese 26- Ordering a new book 27- Browsing in charity shops and buying a random book 28- Browsing in the bookshops for an hour or two 29- The smell of freshly baked bread 30- Eating cornbread with butter 31- Making bread and seeing friends finishing it in one go 32- Talking to old ladies in the supermarket 33- Finding lose change in my pockets 34- Receiving refunds from the electricity company 35- Seeing the fish in the fishpond 36- Smelling new books 37- Wearing a hand-knitted scarf by a friend and wooly hat 38- Getting into bed after a long and tiring day 39- Eating out of season watermeon 40- Looking at my old photos 41- Paying off my credit card every month 42- Sleeping for 7 or 8 hours undisturbed 43- Going to bed with a migrane and waking up just fine 44- Seeing people reading my latest blog 45- Coming up with a new idea to write about 46- Donating stuff that I don't use to charity 47- Giving money to homeless people 48- Coming back from the gym with a sense of achievement 49- The smell of fresh coffee 50- Looking outside the window on a stormy day 51- Looking at the burning fire in the fireplace 52- The smell of a burnt candel 53- Helping someone who is lost 54- Giving my seat to an elderly person on the bus or train 55- Eating fresh figs from my Italian fig tree in the garden 56- Saying hello to people walking in the park 57- Looking at the ducks in the pond in the local park 58- Seeing a fox in the garden 59- Playing scrabble and making up a word which turns out to be a real word 60- Learning Spanish 61- Writing every day 62- Discovering a bar of chocolate I forgot to eat 63- Buying still warm cholla bread from the Iranian baker in Muswell Hill. 64- Eating a pizza at the local Italian restaurant 65- Being served a very large meal at the local Turkish restaurant 66- Picking flowers from the garden 77- Planting a new fruit tree in the garden 78- Doing tai chi in the garden 79- Sitting on the garden bench 80- Visiting the local garden centre 81- Walking for an hour every day 82- Listening to Spanish classical guitar 83- Retuning home after a long holiday 84- Hearing the clock in the kitchen, tick,tock 85- Walking while it's snowing 86- Throwing away well worn old shoes 87- Using a pencil to write instead of typing 89- Taking photos with my mobile 90- Waiting in anticipation for a large file to download 91- Waking up in the morning and thinking that I have nothing to do all day 92- Eating freshly baked Portuguese corn bread 93- Eating quince 94- Eating chestnuts roasted on open fire from street vendors 95- Being invited for dinner by a friend 96- Lip-synsing to a song that I know 97- Receiving updates from my adopted daughter in India 98- Buying the Saturday's newspaper 99- Writing a new poem 100- Drying the cloths in the garden 101- Seeing squirrels in the garden looking for food 102- Reading a book in bed 103- Watching a French movie 104- Feeling sleepy and sleeping straight away 105- Mothers playing with their children 106- Car drivers allowing you to pass 107- Yoga teacher not turning up and participating in co-led yoga session 108- The wind on my face 109- Going to the market and not buying anything 110- Feeling the sun on my face 112- Wind blowing my hair 113- The warmth of the radiator 114- Getting a lift from a friend 115- Receiving back money I lend to a friend 116- Watering the house plants 117- Having a shower 118- Receiving a phone call from a friend 119- Saying thank you to the bus drivers 120- Dunking biscuits in the coffee 121- Yehova's Witnesses standing outside the tube stations 122- Having Internet connection on the underground stations 123- Getting paid for the work I've done 124- Paying others for the work they've done 125- Seeing laughing people 126- The fact that there is an underground train every few minutes 127- Seeing someone I know on the train 128- The smell of freshly peeled tangerines 129- Eating  crunchy blood red apples 130- Seeing the titles of the books people read on the tube 131- London overground, you can see the city 132- Reading European literature 133- Short novels I finish in one sitting 134- Eating almond and/or chocolate croissant 135- People who listen 136- Portuguese espresso in Lisbon 137-  Reading the Dao De Jing 138- Acupuncture treatments, they are so relaxing 139- Reading on Chinese culture, it's endlessly fascinating 140- Korean food 141- Realising that I yawned, because the person in front of me had just yawned 142- 3-D movies 143- Teaching an Improv Comedy workshop 144- Being invited to teach 145- Teaching at a rehab 146- Speaking some German 147- Jacket potatoes 148- Facilitating a drum circles 149- San Pellegrino orange juice 150- Prosecco,  a glass or two 151- Italian Delicatessen 152- Spanish jamon 153- Slow roasted duck 154- Seeing Simon at Peckham Rye station 155- Hearing that Simon reads my blogs 156- Hearing different languages on the tube and trying to figure out the country 157- Friends' children 158- Looking at the murals in Finsbury Park station 159- Hearing my train arriving 160- Looking at people sleeping on the London underground 161- Reading the newspaper of the person sitting next to me on the tube. 162- Going up and down the escalators 163- Eating too many cherries 164- Eating a tap of ice-cream in one go 165- Fresh figs in the shops 166- Street markets 167- Using your credit card to pay for public transport 168- Cashiers at the checkouts asking how I am 169- Striking up a conversation with the street vendors 170- Humming to a song while walking 171- Striking up a conversation with the person  sitting next to me on the bus 172- Seeing more followers on twitter 173- Mint tea with fresh mint from the garden 174- Cycling in the local park 175- Making anagrams from shop names 176- Eavesdropping on somebody's conversation on the bus 177-  Smell of rustic village bread 178-  Losing the thread of my thoughts when I am speaking to a friend or in a workshop 179- Having a banter with friends 180- Receiving thank you notes 181- Having an occasional chant with the local charity shop manager 182- Giving books I haven't opened for a while to charity 183- Singing in a choir 184- Reading Pablo Neruda 185- Practising half a smile 186- Smile meditation 187- Arranging for a time to meet with friends 188- Waking up from a nightmare and realising it was just a dream 189- Getting your libido back 190- Having an Indian head massage 191- Waking up before the alarm clock 192- Visiting an osteopath 193- Drinking a glass of water 194- Waking up to the singing birds in the garden 195- Finding a bathroom when you really need it 196- Seeing a pooping dog 197- Having the opportunity to swear occasionally 198- Feeling of physical exhaustion after a long day 199- Other people's dogs 200- Listening to Freddy de Cuba 201- Concerto de Aranjuez 202- Opening the blinds in the morning 203- Seeing the first snow of the year 204- A little robin bathing in the garden 205- Listening to the banter of builders next door 206- Smell of freshly ground back pepper 207- Coming up with an idea to write about 208- Christmas parties 209- Washing the dishes 210- Putting on a perfume 211- Wearing cufflinks 212- Occasionally having the opportunity to swear 213- Walking with a bit of a swagger 214- Buying new glasses 215- Burning insense 216- Discovering on the tubs a classically dressed young lady reading Solzhenitsyn 217- Having a pint on Grolsch 218- Talking with friends about their weddings 219- conversations about religion and religious practices 220- Meeting people working in Daily Telegraph 221- Leaving the pub early 222- Going to bed by 11pm 223- Meeting a human rights lawyer called Christina 224- Walking under a light rain in the evening 225- Having two blueberry muffins for breakfast 226- Flowering orchids in the house 227- Staying in bed in the morning 228- Sunny days 229- Builders next door whistling jingle bells 230- Slice of toast with butter and honey 231- Remembering there is cooked lunch 232- Saving a £10 on the phone bill 233- Chandra's parties 234- Smiling to an old lady and her smiling back 235- Getting lost in London 236- Meeting an ex-colleague 237- Women putting their make up on, on the underground 238- Hearing lovers' quarrelling on the streets of London 239- Somebody asking me details about a concert I promoted 8 years ago 240- Woman sitting opposite on the tube telling me she really liked my shoes 241- People taking photos on the tube 244- Having butterflies in my stomach 245- Jumble sales 246- Dry mouth with anxiety 247- Lady carrying a Christmas tree on street and singing 248- Speaking to dark and pessimistic people 249- Seeing the same old lady on the tube in the morning and in the afternoon. 250- Changing seats on the bus because the person opposite stunk 251- English breakfast with extra bacon and no sausages 252- Ordering coffee at the coffee shop 253- Smiling babies 254- Having a clean shave 255- Donating books and clothes to charity 256- Looking at a people laughing 257- Coffee with a lot of froth, earing it with a spoon 258- Young waitress asking me whether I would like a menu with a beaming smile. 259- The murmur in the cafe 260- Smoking a cigarette once or twice a year 261- a brunch at the local cafe on a Tuesday morning 262- A pub called The Famous Cock 263- Walking at Peckham High Street 264- Eating cherries in the winter 265- Sunshine after the rain 267- Christmas decorations in the high streets 268- Leaving tips 269- An old lady laughing at a singing toy reindeer 270- Troubles at the supermarket checkout 271- Noticing someone I know dressed as santa on charity advert 272- Seeing one of my improv teachers in a commercial on TV 273- Being offered a lift by a stranger while sheltering from the rain under a tree. 274- Sunday farmers market at Alexandra Palace 275- Chatting with the stall holders at the market 276- Meeting people I know at the Sunday market 277- Writing a reference for a friend 278- WiFi on the public transport in Thrace, Greece 279- Winning an Ipad in a competition 280- Coming up with ideas to pay off the mortgage in five years time 281- Daily meditations 282- Looking at old buildings 283- Walking in the Camden Town market 284- Sitting in a circle with random people in Camden Town 285- Andre Rieu's classic extravaganza 286- Being laughed at while trying to get out of a deep chair handsfree 287- Prawn curry lunch in Camden Town 288- Free green tea from Planet Organic 289- Free black coffee from Waitrose 290- Nibbling brioche 291- Seeing an old friend after a year 292- Playing scrabble in Spanish 293- Drinking sparkling water 294- Eggs benedictine breakfast 295- Almond croissants with double espresso 296- Fish and chips lunch 297- Corn bread from the Portuguese Delicatessen in Borough, London 298- The heavy feeling of exhaustion and tiredness 299- Tuesday morning rubbish collection 300- Two deep frowning lines on my forehead when I look at the mirror 301- Statue of Amy Winehouse in Camden Town 302- Reading short stories from Granta 303- Appearing on TV 304- Being interviewed on the radio 305- Discovering hidden talents 306- Wearing hand knit socks 307- Shopping trip to Kardzhali in Bulgaria 308- Freshly made profiteroles 309- Looking at Buddha statues 310- Hot apple pies with custard 311- Drinking jasmine green tea 312- Looking at the London canals 313- Mastic chewing gum 314- Being stung by a bee on the face and looking at the mirror 315- Getting on the downward escalator by accident while trying to up 316- Bumping onto somebody by accident on the street 317- Trying the Zen walking meditation 318- Opening fizzy water bottles 319- Spilling coffee by accident 320- Forgetting something on the stove and being alerted by the fire alarm 321- Maple syrup in the coffee and cereals 322- Receiving compliments from friends 323- Catching up with Sheila 324- Egyptian cotton sheets 325- Persian silk carpets 326- Drinking Persian doogh (yogurt drink) 327- Freshly made Persian flat bread 328- Catching up with Jane in Covent Garden 329- Seeing pearly kings and queens in London 330- Remember my grandmother 331- The smell of sweet honeydew melon 332- Being invited to teach 333- Crying while peeling onions 334- Tinned tomatoes when cooking casseroles 335- Waiting for the guests to arrive in anticipation 336- Mime performances 337- Going to retreats 338- Long lunch breaks 339- Marinated seafood 340- Wearing wrong socks 341- Returning home from work 342- Business lunches 343- All expenses paid business trips 344- Flying business class 345- Dinners at business lounges at the airport 346- Flying first class 347- Being promoted with a pay rise 348- Buying a new house 349- Learning to play the ukulele 350- Seeing the sea after a long time 351- Lazy times on the beach 352- Ice cold water on a very hot day 353- Butterflies in the stomach 354- Sticking the tongue out 355- Playing table tennis 356- Returning phone call from a friend 357- Conversations in the hairdressers 358- Going to matinees 359- Sitting on park benches in memory of people who enjoyed the park 360- Looking at cows masticating 361- Looking at police horses in London 362- Losing the wallet in the house and finding it again 363- Cauliflower cheese 364- French escargot dinner for first time 365- Thai coconut curry 366- Marsh mallows 367- Sitting under a pagoda 368- Fixing dripping tap 369- Yogurt cereal breakfast 370- Relishing a fresh baguette sandwich 371- Afternoon naps 372- Popping bubble wrap 373- Popping balloons by sitting on them 374- Twanging an elastic band 375- Throwing stones in the sea 376- Singing lifts at Royal Festival Hall in London 377- Looking down from the top floor of a skyscraper 378- Chinese steamed dumpling 379- Mochi rice cakes 380- Persian pistachios 381- While lies 388- Pistachio Turkish delights 389- Tingling sensations 390- Brunches with Joanna 391- Attending a masterclass 392- Aircon when is scorching hot outside 393- Evening walks by Tigris in Rome 394- Walking on a tall bridge and looking at the river 395- Translating a poem 396- Glint on the eye 397- Picking ripe cherries from a cherry tree 398- Lying on freshly cut grass 399- Food courts in Singapore 400- Butternut squash in the oven 401- Accidental cold showers 402- Passing clouds on a sunny winter day 403- Entering into the Year of Monkey in the Chinese horoscope 404- An old lady with an 21.5 year old poodle and a doggy pram. 405- Chatting to elderly couple collecting horse chestnuts in the park 406- Dogs pooping in the park 407- Eating pepino melon for first time 408- Remembering to smile when I can't sleep 409- While waiting in the queues 410- While waiting for files to download 411- Playing scrabble online 412- Writing a difficult email to someone 413- Speaking to my mother, I feel far more patient with her 414- Business meetings 415- Receiving updates from my 'adopted' daughter via SOS Children's Villages, in India. 416- Travelling late on the London underground, people are far more social 417- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at the Theatre Royal in Covent Garden 418- Complementing someone about their shoes on the underground 419- Touching my eyes after cutting some hot chilies 420- Wearing a scarf for first time in the winter 421- Eating a large Italian ice cream in Covent Garden 422- Christmas lights on the Strand 423- Using cast iron pan to grill aubergine 424- Lunch with white grapes with variety of cheese 425- Having occasional late night meals 426- Memorising a poem by Pablo Neruda 427- Picking up marketing slogans from the advertising on the underground 427- Supermarkets that are open until late 428- Using the self check out at the supermarket, you can get rid of the lose change 429- Making some very obvious mistakes when I write 430- Writing jokes 431- Running a company 432- Buying new pair of jeans 433- Having a quiet meal 434- Listening to Classic FM 435- The smell of fresh herbs 436- Looking at the burning fire in my fireplace 437- Eating baklava with lots of almonds, pistachios and walnuts 438- Seeing a ladybird 439- Cracking nuts with nutcracker, mainly almonds and walnuts 440- Eating sunflower and pumpkin seeds 441- Making dinner with stuffed peppers 442- Having a clean shave at the barbers 443- Holding hands and seeing couples holding hands 444- Receiving and giving a hug 445- Handshakes 446- Milkshakes 447- Drinking Greek frape 448- Turkish coffee 449- Lunch with baby tomatoes that burst with flavour 450- Turkish simit, pretzels 451- Making love 452- Speaking with a soft voice 453- Going on the carousel 454- Rollercoaster rides 455- Daytrips to Brighton 456- Browsing antique shops 457- Skype chats 458- Drinking homemade limonchello 459- Having conversations with friend's cats 460- Cooking with cast iron pans 461- Playing with balloons 462- Indian summers 463- Improvised comedy 464- Walking in Richmond park 465- Looking at the deers in parks 467- Going to zoos 468- Having a foot massage 469- Curling up in bed or sofa 470- Fridge magnets 471- Browsing cheese shops 472- Oven baked fish meals 473- Receiving packages through the post 474- Signing invoices, contracts and letters 475- Eating baby carrots 476- Chocolate chip cookies 477- Sichuan chilly prawns 478- Lip-synching to a song 479- Watching Star Trek 480- Crunchy peanut butter 481- Oven glazed apples with honey and almond flakes 482- Wearing Groucho Marx style reading glasses 483- Loosing my train of thought 484- Mending ripped jeans 485- Having long baths with bath salts 486- Trip to the dentist 487- Having homemade popcorn 488- Looking at the full moons 489- Chinese New Year 490- Listening music in Jazz cafes 491- Blue Grass bands 492- Toe tapping to a rhythm 493- Drinking expresso from thermos while travelling 494- Taxi rides 495- Writing short quirky stories 496- Butterfly pasta dinners 497- Homemade lasagne by Sylvia 498- Inviting a friend to a show 499- Receiving instant karmas 500- Chilly potato wedges 501- Klezmer music 502- Donald's dinner parties

What made you smile today?