call me jak
currently
writing: felix/byleth i guess?
watching: young justice
reading: here u are; lets play; satan and me
playing: fire emblem 3 houses, noepets
shipping: felix/byleth, supermartian
just a life update bc its been literal years and my friend linked me smth from tumblr
I don't know if I'll return to tumblr, and this may be my last post! I just wanted to say hi to those who I know who are still around and I hope life has been kind and fulfilling to you in the last six or so years. Its crazy to think about how much of my life and critical years were spent here and where I am now. I hope our paths can cross in the future!
Updates below the cut:
I have not written anything in six years, first of all. I do miss it, I just don't have time and nothing to really inspire that.
I'm still singing! I've actually transitioned into some professional singing - I've done some really cool concerts including Distant Worlds, Lord of the Rings Live, Home Alone Live, a Hans Zimmer Tribute concert.... etc. It's been a really cool experience!
I have been with my partner for 2 years as of March 1st, we met in choir! We've been living together too for the past year.
I have two cats, Fin passed two years ago. We think she was probably older than I had initially thought (you can never tell with cats and strays). I have two cats now who are quite young - just about 5 and 3. They are the best and I love them a lot
I'm back in school actually! I'm pursuing speech language pathology now. I was lucky enough to work in the video game industry during the pandemic, but the industry imploded and there hasn't been entry level jobs available. So I've full pivoted and I'm currently in undergraduate studies again to fulfill prerequisites for a Masters'. I have two midterms on tuesday, actually
I still play a lot of games though in my spare time (though less since school and being with my amazing partner)
I'm an aunt! My sister got married to her partner of 10 years and they have a little boy who is barely six months old. Its been such a joy to be the cool aunt as I always knew I'd be
I turned 30, which is a crazy insane number to me. My 20s were turbulent with depression, two really hard break ups, losing my first cat, and my mom passing. Also in my 20s, I got diagnosed with thyroid disorders, depression, and ADHD.
That being said, I'm really optimistic! I really think I have my shit together and (mostly) have my health under control, which is really a relief. I have a lot more clarity going into this decade, and I'm really excited about my future and the possibilities. My partner and I have been very seriously talking about the future (though we both have different ideas for kids, which is hard of course) and I see myself thriving as a speech language pathologist.
Please feel free to reach out to me for my insta! I'm (more) active there.
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one time as a kid I forcefully shoved two magnets together, and these were the strong magnets my dad used in his shop to pick-up missing little metal bits, and I held them really tightly in the palm of my hand, went up to this one kid who legit said things like “I think black cats are bad, they should be drowned” and drew crosses on the notebooks of kids if she found out they didn’t go to church, I told her “Hey. I’m a witch. If you don’t stop trying to hurt animals and picking on kids, I’ll use my magic to throw you into the sky”, and when she dared to doubt my powers I told her that I had two “rocks” in my hand that I could send across the playground, then I opened my hand the the magnets shot off in two different directions (we were over in a spot that was empty, so no other kids were around, nobody got hurt), one of them stuck to a drainpipe and the other stuck to a fence. This kid SCREAMED, and ran to the office, and I guess had her mom pick her up from school, and then she wasn’t there for a couple of days, finally her mom called my house and claimed I had “traumatized her daughter by performing a terrifying magic trick”, and when my parents asked what I did I just said “I showed her a magnet and she flipped out. She’s not gonna be happy when she finds out about gravity, either”. eventually this kid came back to school and always made a point to come up to me and say “Hey, my mom told me not to talk to you!”, and would just be like “Good job, you already screwed that up”
Today in unexpected but wholesome happenings at the gym:
Saw this very cishet-presenting gym bro squatting while having a loud bro talk bro. Talking loudly about how "you have to figure out if this girl is just a fuck buddy or not. Do u just want to f u c k her? Or be with her?? Gotta be on the same page bro" while his muscles bulged and his tattoos stretched on his biceps.
Turns out he was giving a bro you need to treat her right bro talk to his queer female gym buddy, who was half listening but texting (prompting a "bro are you talking to her right now?! Fucking tell her how you FEEL bro" as he aggressively squatted another 180 pounds).
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[Image ID: Three hands, each grabbing the other’s wrists to form a triangle. The hands are labeled ‘Sex Favorable Aces’, ‘Sex Neutral Aces’, and ‘Sex Repulsed Aces’. The center of the triangle is labeled ‘Still Being Fucking Asexual’. End Image ID]
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I've been single for the last four years (not that I didn't try) and I've come to realize that I had grown really comfortable with being single. Almost like it was part of my identity. Growing up I longed to be in a relationship; I remember even fantasizing that the first person who expressed similar interest in me that I had for them, I'd somehow marry. Throughout my formative years, I had been in relationships or a mutual like situation, with maybe at most 9 months in between when I wasn't seeing someone.
Especially in this last year, I've come to realize that I am very independent. I've moved out and gotten a job on my own merit. I'm financially independent and have learned to handle my depression more proactively and productively. Most of all, though I envision myself with a family one day, I've come to peace and have learned I can truly be happy if I never find another partner.
Now I have. And he's wonderful and kind and extraordinarily witty. We're both weebs and nerds but we can talk for a long time about philosophical ideas, sexuality (we're both ace), and debate about nothing for hours on end. Honestly being with him is so natural it's insane. And yet there's still a small part of me, the one who had to fight for so long to even acknowledge a possibility that I may never have a life partner, that is unsure how to handle this information. I'm relearning how to be a partner and how my priorities and time is shifting to accommodate for him. It's a whole other work in progress.
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