Iโm new to all of this but why would paul get married on johnโs birthday?? and like why would he do that to nancy?? omg he couldโve picked literally any date or was it a coincidenceโฆ i donโt think so.. geez.
Greetings, and welcome to the asylum, dear anon!
Something I think is important to remember, especially if you're more inclined to look at things through a McLennon Is True (In A Completely Reciprocal Sexual/Romantic Way) than I am, is that the other "characters" in this narrative besides John and Paul have agency. If it really bothered Nancy that they were getting married on John's birthday - or that they were getting married in the same location that he married Linda, which I definitely don't see nearly as many people bringing up as potentially upsetting to Nancy - I would be willing to bet that that would not have happened. Nancy would have said, "No, that's insane - we're not doing that." And Paul, more than likely, would have been like, "You're right - that is a little cuckoo-bananas, sorry."
My personal belief is that this is actually a bit of a happy accident. Here are the pieces that fell into place that made 9 October 2011 the Best Option, imo.
People make a lot of the fact that registry offices in the UK generally aren't open on Sundays, unless you specifically pre-book your wedding - but Paul and Nancy would probably already be doing that, not least because of the additional security needs they'd have. I don't think Paul wanted a repeat of the 1969 bedlam and I seriously doubt he and Nancy wanted to get any other hapless couples caught up in the celebrity vortex. So a Sunday, when any other nuptials would also have to be pre-booked, seems like a great choice.
The weekend prior was the London premiere of Martin Scorsese's documentary about George. This meant that some folks who are usually residing overseas - Ringo and Barbara, for instance; although I'm sure they would've made the trip anyway, lol - were already, conveniently, in London. So the closer that event is to the wedding, the better. (I think people forget that this was a thing, which is totally reasonable. I do not forget because I was in London and was at both events in an uninvited capacity, lmao.)
Why not book the wedding during the week, then? Well, because Nancy is Jewish and at least semi-observant. Rosh Hashanah - the Jewish New Year and the start of the High Holy Days - began on the evening of 28 September and Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, was 7/8 October. Getting married on Yom Kippur is a pretty major no-no and, traditionally, marrying during that interval between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur is also discouraged. It's not a good time to have a big party, basically, to the point where I think most Jews who engage with their faith or culture on any level would find it unacceptable and even offensive. So that makes the earliest possible date for their marriage... 9 October.
As a bonus, the four days after Yom Kippur - especially the very next day (Tishrei 11) - are considered "extremely auspicious" dates to get married. (I put that in quotes because that exact wording is used on multiple different websites I looked at.)
Given how chill and respectful Nancy is about Linda's continuing importance to Paul (and Paul's eldest children), I'd be inclined to doubt she'd feel any differently about John - regardless of what your take on the John/Paul relationship is. I'd be willing to bet that, when all these factors lined up for them to get married on 9 October, they both saw it as an additional "blessing" and a way for John - someone who is unquestionably very important to Paul - to be a part of their big day.
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