Here be Punsters

grind

@lilakennedy

Rolling around in the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta FOLLOW MY RAINBOW!

Orlando Bloom is a gift to mankind 

I will now watch the trilogy and purely focus on the elfboy. Just because this gifset makes it clear that this is a thing that should be done.

@oakenshieldboarding

I’m just wondering if it was actually safe to use as lube…..

It absolutely is! Crisco is a vegetable oil, which means it’s safe to use, even with condoms (whereas baby oil and petroleum jelly destroys latex and can cause irritation and infection).

And it’s kosher!

This looks like the pitch for the most progressive crisco ad ever and frankly win.

“Crisco, you can fuck with it!”

“Ritually pure for both dairy AND meat!”

The kind of history deserving of knowing

@angiogenesis2survive

i had simultaneously the worst and best idea……

It’s fun to chant “Bloody Mary” into your car’s side mirror three times and watch her jog and try to keep up.

Being a dick even to demons

I can’t stop laughing

can they like release new vegetables 

i work at whole foods and im here to tell u that they do

This is a very real descent into madness and I deeply empathize with it, holy shit.