The Plaid Parade

walkable cities also means sittable cities send tweet

some people are responding to this like its a joke and im going to assume u are the type of people to say "its only a 3 minute walk" when i tell them the nearest bench is too far away

also anyone who thinks "3 minutes isnt THAT bad" you will be old one day. and you will wish the bench was closer

walkable cities also means cities with free accessible public bathrooms whilst we're at it

It was google by the way, they thought it would be such a good file type it would replace the need for all other image files, that's why anything they own or partner with tries to force it on us though no art programs can even work with it.

Zombies shouldn't growl or snarl, they should babble a mixture of incomplete word sounds and whole words or sentence fragments. Every zombie should sound almost but not quite like it's trying to tell you something.

It's actually kind of insane that we give cats catnip, like you're just like hmm I'm not busy today so why not let my cat trip balls for a while as a treat

Can you imagine if I was like well I have an edible and my one year old niece seems bored so...

Like what if I said "I give my hamster lsd sometimes, he loves it!" You'd think I was out of my mind. But not cats we give them drugs all the time and no one cares.

some animals were born to have a good as fuckk time...

Cats are natural born stoners.

“I’d kill for you. Please ask me to kill for you.” “No.” Is a top tier ship dynamic no I do not take criticism

The idea of a person being capable of incredibly immoral acts but held in check but their love of their partner sends me every time

Hamsterdam

Kontent

Theres no fukin betterer way zum flyen.

your bed is probably as happy to see you as you are to see it. ‘here comes the warmth slab’ it thinks

wrong it thinks “god hope this dipshit doesnt spill beans all over me again who tf eats beans in bed”

stop reblogging this new year new me i havent spilled beans in bed ONCE this year

uh oh

It gets funnier the earlier in the year you reblog it

jrpg final bosses will seem way too over the top but then I encounter one fruit fly irl and start to monologue when it dodges me

"no... how did you survive my attack... what is this power??"

Me chasing a mosquito at 2 in the morning: “You insignificant little pest. How dare you disturb me?! I will destroy you and all your kind!”

Fever is a hilarious immune response. Our bodies tell the disease “hey, wanna see which one of us dies of overheating first? No? Too bad.” and honestly they’re not even the winners a decent chunk of the time but it works often enough that we never evolved it away or anything. Fantastic work.

mr sandman was playing in this gas station and the cashier and i both sang “man me a sand” at the same fucking time without hesitation

As someone around for 9-11 and the "NEVER FORGET NUMBER #1 GREATEST TRAGEDY EVER IN HISTURY" response to it I am in thrilled and invigorated by the fact that younger people just make amogus memes and TikTok nonsense about it. A huge chunk of America cared more about it than any entire genocide and thought you would cry learning about it. They hoped it'd make every generation patriotically angry forever and ever and want to join the military. Instead you Photoshop the towers into squidwards house and shit. Never stop lol

That last sentence KILLED me. Jesus fuck.

DEPLOY THE BOY