black lives matter

In middle school biology, we did an experiment. We were given yams, which we would sprout in cups of water. We then had to make hypotheses about how the yams would grow, based on descriptions of yam plants in our books, and make notes of our observations as they grew.

Here’s what was supposed to happen: we were supposed to see that the actual growth of the plant did not resemble our hypotheses. We were then supposed to figure out that these were, in fact, sweet potatoes.

What actually happened was that every single student in every single class lied in their notes so that their observations perfectly matched their hypotheses. See, everyone assumed the mismatch meant they had done something wrong in the process of growing the plant or that they had misunderstood the dichotomous key or the plant identification terminology. And, thanks to the wonders of a public school education, everyone assumed the wrong results would get us a failing grade. We were trying to pass. We didn’t want to get bitched out by the teacher. Curiosity, learning, science - that had nothing to do with why we were sitting in that classroom. So we all lied.

The teacher was furious. She tried to fail every student, but the administration stepped in and told her she wasn’t allowed to because a 100% fail rate is recognized as a failure of the teacher, not the class. It wasn’t even her fault, really, though her being a notorious hard-ass didn’t help. It was a failure of the entire educational system.

the “humans are inherently evil and will seize on any opportunity to fuck each other over” trope is not only tired, boring, and cynical, it’s just…wrong. I mean, to reiterate & get the obvious point out of the way, yes, anyone who espouses this view is not to be trusted. 99% of the time the person is just telling you what they would do when given the chance. You don’t want to be friends with someone who has fantasies of becoming some Mad-Maxian water-hoarder enslaving people for food. 

but aside from that—the idea that people are horrible whenever given the chance is just…not backed up by real life. I’ve seen some shit. I was in Charlottesville on That Day and saw some really horrific sides of humanity that I have thought about almost every day since. But on the way back to our car, all of us filthy and sweaty and with low-key chemical burns from mace, some strangers saw us and asked if we needed help. They let us into their home and gave us water and food and let us shower before we drove home. They are probably part of the reason that I didn’t get hit by the car, because the time window we missed it by wasn’t a lot. 

in February, Texas had a snowstorm/freeze of historic proportions. our statewide power grid was minutes away from a failure that would have left us all without electricity for months. Temperatures got down to teens here in Austin, where houses aren’t built to handle that & most people don’t know what to do, and a lot of people died (probably way more than official counts). I can’t get into all the hows and whys re: the disaster and its scope, but it’s definitely the closest thing to an apocalypse that I’ve lived through. 

What happened during that week and the next, while some people had power and food and water and others didn’t? Did the haves leave the have-nots to die? Sure, some people cozied up in their homes and ignored the disaster, but a lot of us didn’t. My coworker (who didn’t have power himself) was running a crockpot from his truck so he could bring hot meals to people in need. I collected fallen limbs and turned them into firewood deliveries. Every local Facebook group I’m in turned into an ad-hoc mutual aid group, organizing food and water dropoffs. Strangers let other people into their homes, in the middle of a pandemic, whether to stay for days or just to shower and do laundry or eat a warm meal. My friends in other states contacted me, unprompted, to send me money so I could get more baby formula and food to give to people in need. 

I think about this a lot: 

Anthropologist Margaret Mead was asked by a student what she considered to be the first sign of civilization in a culture.

Mead said that the first sign of civilization in an ancient culture was a femur (thighbone) that had been broken and then healed. Mead explained that in the animal kingdom, if you break your leg, you die. You cannot run from danger, get to the river for a drink or hunt for food. You are meat for prowling beasts. No animal survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal. A broken femur that has healed is evidence that someone has taken time to stay with the one who fell, has bound up the wound, has carried the person to safety and has tended the person through recovery. Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts. We are at our best when we serve others. Be civilized.

— Ira Byock, The Best Care Possible: A Physician’s Quest to Transform Care Through the End of Life (Avery, 2012)

This is who we can be, and often are. We can be civilized and kind and help each other. It’s not the path of least resistance in our current culture and societal structure, it’s not the easiest path, but it’s there. And I do think most (maybe not a vast majority, but a majority) people want to follow it, but a lot of them don’t know how and haven’t been shown yet. When you do that, when you work with mutual aid groups or help the lost child or carry the heavy groceries for the stranger that isn’t up to it, you’re showing them. You’re a guiding light to a better way for all of us to be. 

here is a gravestone from ancient Athens, a young girl with her favorite pets.

here is a food-sharing scene from the Maya site Calakmul. when they remodeled the building, the people there packed this mural with mud to preserve it.

here is a child’s footprint stamped into clay in Mesopotamia more than 2000 years ago. many of these have been found, and some are inscribed with the children’s names. 

This website reads Terms of Service and ranks them so you don’t have to – because, let’s be real, you don’t.

- never take from ‘mom and pop’ type store. Its likely you’ll actually harm them, whereas taking from a walmart wont effect much.

- never take items that a worker is assigned to monitor (usually super expensive items), theyll be in trouble for it. and its usually a minimum wage worker and usually they lose hours or pay, or they even get fired.

- similar to the above, never take things that are usually locked up for the above reason

- if its a store you know gives their near-expiration products to workers/charity, try to avoid taking the near expiration products.

- if youre taking clothing, avoid leaving hangers. it sounds weird, but itll make it seem like it was more likely an error in the computer than a theft, since the empty hanger sitting there will seem suspicious. 

- also for clothing, try not to take more than one item at once, as it will look suspicious if theres 10 medium shirts missing, and it won’t be written off as just a stocking error. and it will lead to workers being penalized

- basically just always consider ‘will this harm a worker’ and if the answer is yes then dont do it

I live in a small town and I knew she was a waitress at a hotel my sister works at, and people at that hotel don’t tip well during off season. Nursing exam books are 50+ bucks. Being a med student myself, I didn’t even breathe a word, and when inventory came up later and the book was missing, I suggested it was likely a mislabel, and the manager wrote it off.

Me:

here’s a small list of videos you can watch and passively donate to different funds that are a part of the black lives matter movement. if you are interested in donating as well, i’ve linked most of the funds and organizations the youtubers are donating too. please do not skip the ads!!

I FOLLOWED A PROFESSIONAL MAKEUP ARTIST’S TUTORIAL: to the Black Visions Collective (x)

80p makeup... but what’s the catch? TESTING SHOP MISS A! First impressions and WEAR TEST!: to the George Floyd memorial fund (x)

In-N-Out Mukbang: to the Minnesota Freedom Fund (x)

how to help BLM with NO MONEY/leaving your house: to protestor bail funds of different states

I Got Drunk And Gave Relationship Advice! The ULTIMATE guide to BOYS & GIRLS!!: to the George Floyd fund and other racial equality charities (x)

Baby Products I Regret Buying: to the George Floyd memorial fund (x) and National Bail Out (x)

MY #1 PRODUCT FROM 10 DRUGSTORE BRANDS: the Black Visions Collective (x)

BIG LOUIS VUITTON HAUL | SS 2020 ESCALE + MORE | hollyannaeree: to the George Floyd memorial fund (x) and Campaign Zero (x)

WANT TO DONATE TO BLACK LIVES MATTER BUT HAVE NO MONEY? WATCH THIS VIDEO: to the Black Lives Matter organization (x)

Watch To Donate For FREE: Black Lives Matter: to Campaign Zero (x), NAACP (x), Black Lives Matter (x), Unicorn Riot (x), Comminuties United Against Police Brutality (x), ACLU (x), Color of Change (x), Equal Justice Initiative (x), Reclaim the Block (x), National Bail Out Fund (x)

Huge Prettylittlething & Missguided TRY ON Haul NEW IN... MAJOR Retail Therapy!!: to the George Floyd fund (x) and others

MAY FAVORITES & BOOKS I’VE READ THIS MONTH | I Covet Thee: to The Bail Project (x)

Quarantine Graduation Cap Cake for Class of 2020 | How to Cake It with Yolanda Gampp: to an unspecified organization dedicated towards the education for black students

AMSR Putting Fenty Makeup on Rihanna (Paper Makeover): to the Black Visions Collective (x) and Support the Cities (x)

DECLUTTER, DIY & DECORATE #WITHME Little Girl’s Boho Room Transformation UNDER $100!!!: to the George Floyd memorial fund (x)

TikTokers SPEAKING OUT About RACISM & BLACK LIVES MATTER (Ft. Charli D’amelio, Dixie D’amelio): to the Black Lives Matter foundation (x)

Let’s Talk About It: Racism & Social Injustice: to the Black Lives Matter foundation (x)

“but i’m not racist?”: to the Minnesota Freedom Fund (x)

Talk to people when things go to shit.

I don’t just mean get it off your chest, although that’s good. I mean: Something’s wrong with your paycheck/you lost your job/you had unexpected emergency car repairs and now you’re broke so your credit card payment is late. Like, not just 15 days late. We’re talking, shit got crazy and now you’re 90 days late with compounded interest and late fees and the Minimum Payment Due is, like, $390, and you’ve got about $3.90 in your bank account. Call the credit card company. 

I know it’s scary. I know you feel like you’re going to get in trouble, like you’re gong to get yelled at or scolded for not having your life together. But the credit card company isn’t your parents; they’re just interested in getting money from you. And you can’t squeeze blood from a stone or money from someone who doesn’t have any. So what you do is you call them. You explain you’re experiencing temporary financial hardships, and you’re currently unable to bring your account up to date, but you don’t want to just let it get worse. Can you maybe talk to someone about a payment plan so you can work something out? Nine times out of ten you’ll be able to negotiate something so that at least it’s not just taking a constant, giant shit on your credit score.

- Can’t pay your power bill? Call the power company.

- Can’t pay your full rent? Talk to your landlord.

- Had to go to the hospital without insurance and have giant medical bills looming in your place? Call the hospital and ask if they have someone who helps people with financial hardships. Many do.

- Got super sick and missed half a semester of class because flu/pneumonia/auto-immune problems/depressive episode? Talk to your professor. If that doesn’t help, talk to your advisor.

You may not be able to fix everything, but you’ll likely be able to make improvements. At the very least, it’s possible that they have a list of people you can contact to help you with things. (Also, don’t be afraid to google things like, “I can’t pay my power bill [state you live in]” because you’d be surprised at what turns up on Google!) But the thing is, people in these positions gain nothing if you fail. There’s no emotional satisfaction for them if your attempts at having your life together completely bite the dust. In fact, they stand to benefit if things work out for you! And chances are, they’ll be completely happy to take $20 a month from you over getting $0 a month from you, your account will be considered current because you’ve talked to them and made an agreement, you won’t get reported to a collections agency, and your credit score won’t completely tank.

Here’s some helpful tips to keep in mind:

1. Be polite. Don’t demand things; request them. Let me tell you about how customer service people hold your life in their hands and how many extra miles they’ll go for someone who is nice to them.

2. Stick to the facts, and keep them minimal unless asked for them. Chances are they’re not really interested in the details. “We had several family emergencies in a row, and now I’m having trouble making the payments” is better than “Well, two months ago my husband wrecked his bike, and then he had a reaction to the muscle relaxer they gave him, and then our dog swallowed a shoestring and we had to take him to the emergency clinic, and just last week MY car broke down, and now my account’s in the negatives and I don’t know how I’m gonna get it back out.” The person you’re talking to is aware shit happens to everyone; they don’t need the details to prove you’re somehow “worthy” of being helped. They may ask you for details at a certain point if they have to fill out any kind of request form, but let them do that.

3. Ask questions. “Is there anything we can do about X?” “Would it be possible to move my payment date to Y day instead so it’s not coming out of the same paycheck as my rent?” The answer may be “no.” That’s not a failure on your part. But a good customer service person may have an alternate solution.