Penguins Journal

Putting this here so future me can find it and see how far I’ve come but also to update those who do my blog.

I’ve changed jobs, I was working for a buddy of mine but that made me way more depressed then I was previously and I’m not loving my current one in retail but it’s better than my previous one so yay I guess.

One of my best friends moved in and it’s been really nice. I love having her presence and smile even though our schedules are a little opposite at times.

I’m in therapy and it’s been nice. I know I’m an analytical person and she definitely notices it but she helps me stop to feel my emotions and it’s been really nice to work on those feelings. It makes me feel a little better about myself and everything but there’s a lot of work ahead with and without her.

I have been making a point to do more things, I’m tired of being a shut in and it’s been nice. Seeing more friends and doing more firsts. Reaching out and making a point to acknowledge my relationships and also understanding that some just aren’t there anymore even if i thought they were.

I am thinking of leaving my RC, I don’t feel like I fit in and it would save me some money. I’m going to invite some of those friends to a sit down and see what the best course of action is but I think I’m ready to step away until I’m ready to come back.

I’ve been reading more, mainly webcomics but it’s been nice to slowly get my way back into it so I’m hoping to pick up a physical book soon.

Had a situationship for about 2 months and that didn’t go the best but it helped me figure out a few things. I’m talking to someone rn and I think he’s hoping for a serious relationship and so am I but I’m just unsure if he’s the right one for me. Time will tell I guess.

Got tickets for NK this summer! I survived the TM war so I’m excited for that.

Just really in my feels tonight and feeling a sense of love, envy and sadness so here’s to the future and hopes that I can find my place amongst those who have found their own path.

Leave your mark in the most you way you can

I feel like exploding, I’m off my meds by accident but I don’t want to get back on them however much I try to I feel like screaming constantly and things that should make my happy feel fake.

The easiest way to explain it is, I want to take my brain and project how I’m feeling to someone because I feel alone. Work is good but I miss my old job and I’m just not happy with any aspect of my quality of life.