ThePaddedPanda

Hello everyone! I wanted to share some super simple recipes for drinks that I use to fill baby bottles! Using regular milk is nice, but can get boring, real formula or cream can be unhealthy, and some recipes are too thick to suck through a nipple. So I came up with some simple drinks to replace boring milk! (I don’t include too many hard measurements; these recipes are best made to taste. Everyone will like them best with slightly different amounts of ingredients) 

Angel Milk- Probably the easiest to make with stuff you have around your house. All you need is 12oz of milk or a milk replacement, a tablespoon of sugar, and a splash of vanilla! Combine the ingredients, heat up the drink until it’s warm and that’s it! Very easy for littles to make for themself

Bedtime Kiss- This one needs to be heated up to be quite hot, so be careful! It also tastes best with real, whole milk. Heat 12oz of milk until it starts to foam, around 2-3 minutes. Be careful it doesn’t spill over! Then, mix in 1 or 2 tablespoons of honey and a shake of nutmeg and cinnamon. Make sure you let it cool a bit before putting the nipple on!

Gingerbread House- Santa’s favorite! You’ll need some maple or pancake syrup, a shake of cinnamon + nutmeg + ground ginger, a splash of vanilla, and milk (if you’re using milk substitutes, I recommend hazelnut milk or vanilla almond milk). Heat the milk, and combine all ingredients. You’ll have to mix the maple syrup in well!

I am risking nothing

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

Reddit user HeMeYou was left “overwhelmed” by advice from online strangers after accidentally discovering his son might be gay.

The 38-year-old father posed the question to Reddit after finding Google searches on his son’s iPad suggesting he wanted to come out.

He said: “I found out my 13 y/o son is gay… He hasn’t told me, but I want to support him. What can I do?”

I’m 38, and a single dad to my 13 year old son, 14 in four months. The other day I asked my son if I could borrow his iPad and he gave it to me.

After my first attempt at Google searching something I noticed that he forgot to delete his history as a lot of the search terms were along the lines of “I’m gay what now?” etc…

I love him regardless of which gender he loves, in fact when I was slightly older than him I had a few flings with guys, which he doesn’t know about, so I am 100% supportive.

He has seemed slightly down recently, as in, he isn’t as cheerful as he once was, and I desperately want to tell him that I love him regardless of which sexuality he is.

What are my options? Should I wait for him to tell me? Or should I make a few hints at it?

I’m worried that if I don’t hint at it, that he will be worried about something that he really doesn’t have to be worried about… if that makes sense. Thanks.

Shortly after, he received a flood of supportive messages, with many users offering advice based on their own experiences.

One user posted: “Google ‘how to tell my son I will love and support him no matter what’ and leave it in his search history.”

Another said: “Let him come out on his own terms, just make sure he knows that you’ll support him and you don’t have a problem with it.”

The father, who wished to remain anonymous, told Buzzfeed the response to his post was “overwhelmingly helpful and kind.”

A few days later, HeMeYou posted an update on what he ended up doing:

I started off with talking about general media with him, for instance I mentioned how awesome it was that Tim Cook (CEO of Apple) came out as being gay and I asked him what he thought about it and I was completely expecting him to give a typical teenager response like “yeah.. its good” or something like that but he actually gave me a detailed response which I absolutely loved because for the first time in a good while I’ve actually held a conversation with my son that felt really… rewarding.

I also wanted to talk to him about how I’ve noticed that he’s not been acting as cheerful as he usually has and I sort of gave the cliche spiel of “I love you no matter what and I just want to see you be happy” but I didn’t get much of a response that time apart from “yeah I know..”

The next day as I picked him up from school I thought I’d ask him about any crushes he has, and I wanted to make sure I didn’t say a gender when I asked him, so instead of ‘he’ or ‘she’ I used ‘they’ etc.. Here is that conversation as I remember it…

Me: So, do you have a crush on anyone? Son: Uhm… no..m..maybe.. Me: Ohhh so who is the lucky person? At this point he sort of looked at me slightly confused, I’m not 100% sure why, but I’m assuming it is because I said “lucky person” rather than “lucky girl”. Son: Just someone from my french class… Me: Oh yeah… so what do you like about them? Son: Just.. stuff.. Me: Okay.. but.. like what? Son: I donno they’re just kinda funny I guess…

At this point I dropped the conversation but just before I did I told him “Well, whoever it is, they should be so lucky to have you as a boyfriend..” and while I didn’t see it, I certainly felt as though he was rolling his eyes at my cheesy comments.

At the dinner table the same day, while we were eating we had a couple minutes of silence, not much was heard apart from the cutlery and my son finally said “I actually wanted to tell you something in the car, but I was afraid you’d get in an accident..”

I looked up from my plate and looked at him straight in the eyes… I could see he was thinking about something and all I could think of was “OMG this is it…”

He said “Dad..” with a couple seconds of silence “..I’m gay”.

I looked at him and couldn’t help myself from smiling, and I told him “____, you know I love you so much… right?” and I got up and gave him a huge hug.

He even started to cry on my shoulder and because of that I couldn’t help myself but shed a couple tears.

Concluding his post, he said: “After dinner and after he finished his homework we both lay in our pyjamas on the sofa, while I was watching the Cooking Channel and he was playing on his iPad.

Oh what a lovely story.

General Supplies

ABDLFactory

Baby Pants

Rearz

Aww So Cute

Cuddlz

Cosy N Dry

Inner Child

Adult Diapers

AB Universe

Adult Cloth Diaper

Angel Fluff

North Shore

Snuggies Diapers

Bambino Diapers

Adult Pacifiers

Pacifiers R Us

6+ Month Pacifiers (Only use for 15 minute periods as to not cause tooth problems)

MAM

Diapers.com

Babies R Us

Adult Baby Clothes

Pajama City

FootedPajamas.com

Pajamagram

WebUndies.com

Snug As A Bug

Forever Lazy

Big Feet PJ’s

Baby Toys

Toys “R” Us

Walmart

Target

Little Tikes

IKEA

Pottery Barn Kids

Adult Cribs

Adult Baby Furniture

         So…how to go about this without sounding 1. Irrationally annoyed and 2. Like a judgmental asshole? Because what I need to say is important. And I want you to listen. I don’t want you to read the first sentence and then skip all the rest because “she’s just being emotional rn”. So I think I’ll stick with observations and personal conversations. I’m going to try not to generalize, so when you see me say “most Tumblr littles or a lot of Tumblr littles and Tumblr Daddy Doms” it is either based on my personal experience or firsthand accounts from people I have a great deal of respect in the real life BDSM community. It isn’t a blanket statement, I am referring to the actual people who behave this way. And if you think it doesn’t apply to you, great! Please still read this because you might run into this alarming behavior and be able to help someone learn better. To be clear and get this out in front of the rest, I also know some very awesome Tumblr littles. So this is not a “destroy all Tumblr littles” hunt. It’s a there’s-a-serious-fucking-problem-in-the-Tumblr-Cgl/DDlg-community-and-not-enough-people-are-talking-about-it post. Call it a searchlight focused on a problematic behavior that is currently running rampant among some folks. Let’s begin, shall we?

         First and foremost is the manipulative behavior from littles and the enabling behavior from Daddy doms on Tumblr. I see these cutesy posts like the one about bothering their daddies while they are in important meetings because, “I have an emergency..(cue panicked daddy dom reply)…i need attentions”. This is not okay. Period. It is not okay to disrupt someone’s vital adult life responsibilities simply because you think it’s cute. 1. It is highly immature and disrespectful for any significant other to use a fake emergency to get immediate attention. Imagine if you disrupted a meeting that would have resulted in your partner getting a career changing promotion that would have improved their life and, in turn, yours.  Your need to be “cute” just cost them a promotion because you couldn’t be an adult about your needs enough to wait for a meeting to be over. Do you see why I’m calling it selfish and immature? Do not come at me with “but littles are supposed to act immature”. Just…no. Most real life couples will tell you that a huge part of navigating Cgl in a healthy way is knowing when to be an adult. And giving your partner the support to nail an important meeting is definitely the time to be an adult.

That’s just one of a myriad of shitty behaviors I see here on Tumblr. But here’s the thing, the little in that scenario? They’re not the only one at fault. Because we have a serious problem of Tumblr Daddy doms thinking this shit is cute. They ignore the fact that it’s manipulative because they choose not to see it. I feel bad for them, honestly. Because they’re the ones that get preyed on by abusive submissives: they are seen as doormat dominants. They don’t have the ability to see bad behavior for what it is from people they care about but especially those that call themselves a little. And I think it’s partly Tumblr’s fault. Because where are all these new daddy doms and littles getting their information about what is and isn’t acceptable behavior in these type of relationships? Tumblr. And what is Tumblr absolutely riddled with? Terrible misinformation. So terrible that it reads like a how-to on abusive submission.

Two of the most important aspects of BDSM are respect and communication. Respect your dynamic, don’t undermine your dominant’s authority with manipulative behavior because you think it’s cute. There’s a difference between being bratty/fighty and manipulative. Being a bratty/fighty submissive is talked about with your partner and even then there’s still respect of the dynamic and discussion of what is and isn’t okay behavior. Those who are manipulative are not discussing this with their partners and the daddy doms who are being manipulated are clearly not communicating with their submissive how they are expected to behave. They’re both undermining the entire dynamic. It is no longer healthy BDSM at that point. It’s a manipulative relationship where the participants call each other pet names. That’s it. 

Now, I said I would tell ya’ll how the real life BDSM community views Tumblr Cgl culture. I can only speak for the local communities that we have actually had the pleasure of being a part of or speaking with their members. And here’s the takeaway from each discussion regarding Tumblr Cgl/DDlg…*eye roll*. That’s their gut reaction. But let me clarify. If a Tumblr little and and their Daddy come into a local community, they will be met with optimism. Because you see, they *want* them to be one of the decent ones. Because there are plenty of Cgl relationships in local communities. But of the ones I know at local places…they don’t do Tumblr and if they do, they don’t say they are littles or daddies because they are so disgusted with how many Tumblr littles portray being a little, and the same goes with Tumblr daddies. They call it toxic. So you see, this isn’t just my feelings about this. If you could witness real life Cgl, you would understand this. A little who pulled that aforementioned behavior in real life?? It would take a lot of convincing not to get that little immediately blacklisted from events. I’m just saying. The real life BDSM community is so serious about healthy relationships. 

And you guys, that example I used earlier? That’s one of so many different bad submissive behaviors. There’s also string danglers (subs who promise the world to their dominants only to then just string them along, giving them only enough hope to keep them following). Then you have sandbox subs - you know, the ones who will be on again off again with their doms because “I’m still figuring out who I am but I want to be with you…eventually.” (Much like the child that stops playing with the toy in the sandbox until another child starts playing with that toy). Then there are heartstring violinists (the ones where they behave badly and when called out on it, tell you a sob story of why they did what they did…red flag=they are never at fault). Then there are underminers (the ones who agree to a power dynamic and then constantly and without remorse, do whatever they wanted anyway). And it goes on and on and on. And before you harp on me that not just littles do this shit. I’m well aware, but of all the abusive submissives I have come across, I see it most often in Tumblr littles. 

And maybe these abusers aren’t shitty people, maybe they’ve just been so hammered by the misinformation flying about that they think this is the expected and condoned behavior. And I hope some of them read this and start questioning their actions and the actions of some of their community. And I hope that we can make the Tumblr Cgl space one that’s looked on with respect again and not derision. I feel honestly so sorry for those that will still behave the way they have been, because honestly, no partner will ever stick around. Not in the way that little wants them to. They’ll husk them out of emotions and energy until all that’s left is the shell of the person that little once cared about. Because no one can sustain a dominant level of love and energy for a submissive who only cares about themselves. 

Respect your partners, folks.

This really hit home for me too, because I used to be a very needy little. Maybe not to the extent described in this post, but I definitely drained the life out of my dominant/caregiver. I expected him to be there for me at all times and I grew so dependent on him that our relationship grew strained, unhealthy, and he eventually left me. (Not saying this is the only reason our relationship ended, but it was definitely a contributing factor).

It’s important to be independent and to be held accountable for your actions. At the end of the day, you are an ADULT in a consensual ADULT relationship. Role play is not an excuse to act like a child when it comes to real life responsibilities. It pains me when I see this behavior so celebrated and glorified… it’s sickening, honestly.

I work for the community and get emails that are demanding with phrases like “my princess needs this made and here within a week because it’s her birthday”(and I want it at no extra cost and no thank you’s just the attitude that I’m a Dom so do it) “My daddy said I could have this for my reward so I need it in x days” there’s a lot of times I don’t feel like I’m working with adults and this kind of behavior can make it feel like I’m working with people who don’t value or appreciate my time. A lot of shop owners tell me how they feel like they’re doing twelve jobs in one and feel the same way.

Yah this hits the nail on the head. I’ve seen so many littles that have done stuff like this or act like this, or just can’t handle themselves, only be be like “but I’m a little, I can’t!”. But you should! You are still a person and an adult. If you are having problems with being a functional person then…. well maybe fix that first.