Sinful Lapis

Today was a complete disaster. What should have been a simple recon mission ended with yet another world destroyed. Everyone told Kit it wasn't her fault, as if she hadn't been told that enough times in her life. “You didn't know” or “you did everything you could.” That wasn't good enough! That wasn't a real answer, it made her feel powerless…empty.

A low growl rumbled deep in the pit of Kit's stomach and she placed a paw on it with a grimace. She hadn't eaten much during that mission, too distracted. Now it had fully caught up with her. She lightly rubbed the hollow dip in her midsection and sighed. Kit could put food away when she wanted too and right now, eating her feelings sounded like as good a plan as any.

Kit lifted a paw and opened her menu; a translucent blue screen filled with text and icons appeared in front of her. Sure enough her stomach icon was flashing a concerning orange. She wasn't starving outright, but she didn’t see any point of depriving herself. Besides, a bit of healing would do her well. A look over her vitals told her she had neglected to patch herself up after escaping from that world.

Dragging her paw across the screen Kit looked through her inventory till she got to her healing items. She always had plenty stocked up. She had to for the nature of her work; not to mention for…other reasons.

Hot dogs were a staple for Kit. Mustard had always been her favorite condiment and the hot dog was the perfect vessel for it. Not to mention they…reminded her of home; at least, what was home.

As Kit sat cross legged on her bed munching away she was taken back to a happier time. When nothing was her fault, when even the worst days seemed to have a happy ending. A small whine escaped her throat and she felt the familiar streaks of tears on her cheeks. Damn it. Again, again she couldn't keep this out of her mind. How she screwed up, how she didn't have to pay the price. How she had to live with this every day and every night; how she felt the need to try and atone for. Nothing ever really made this feeling go away. It was just subdued, hidden away till she was vulnerable enough to start beating herself up again.

The hot dog quite literally felt like a bandage, the problem was this was much more than a small cut. Kit's stomach icon was a solid yellow now, hardly something to concern herself with, at least that's what the menu told her. Her body however had its own feedback. A torrent of gurgles made her midsection quiver as her body demanded more. A single hotdog was hardly enough for someone with an appetite like Kit.

Kit closed the menu and tried to forget about it. She was fine, she had healed and should focus on her next move. She still had to figure out what to do with Flappers. Kaboodle wouldn't exactly be happy if she didn't have some plan for the people she kept…saving.

Saving…

Yeah sure saving, if that's what she wanted to call it. Who was she kidding? She wasn't saving anything. All she could do was waste. Waste time, waste resources, waste lives. Her paws balled into fists as her body tensed. A sharp inhale was her last defense before the tears stained her cheeks once again..

Damn it, again. Here she goes again spiraling. Great job Kit. Before she even knew what she was doing her inventory opened and she produced another hot dog from it. Whatever they had plenty…

The hot dog was exactly how Kit liked them, all of them were. Soft, lightly toasted buns and an all beef wiener covered in what most would say was far too much mustard. Kit's sharp teeth sunk into it with ease as she devoured half of it in one bite. The first one awakened her appetite and she realized how deeply unsatisfied she was. Her stomach was churning in eager anticipation after being underfed for over a day. Resting a paw on her midsection Kit could feel the hollow dip in her core and the violent digestion of her body trying to replenish the calories it had been screaming for.

Another bite was all it took for her second hot dog to disappear. That wasn't enough either, she could never get enough of the taste. Not to mention the comforting sensation of digestion. Her muted sniffling subsided into a low purr as she rubbed her midsection. The action was just another form of self soothing as she let herself go on auto pilot. Eating when she wasn't in danger, not forcing herself to do it always felt good. She could just enjoy the flavors and the sensation of nourishing her body.

Kit used her last bit of agency to check her inventory and look at how many supplies she had. With her healing supplies resting comfortably at a four digit number suddenly her hunger seemed to burn hotter. Her entire midsection felt like a cavern and her mouth was watering. She could eat as much as she could fit, just let loose and push her limits. It had been a while….

There was no stopping Kit at this point. She was eating her feelings and dammit no one was going to stop her. She needed this, needed the time to just indulge. She opened her inventory and left it open this time; dragging the screen off to the side as she produced another hot dog. She took a bite of it and produced another as she kept chewing. If she couldn't fill the hollow spot in her heart, her stomach was the next best thing.

After the fourth hot dog Kit wasn't counting anymore, not that she was terribly invested in keeping track. It was just a cycle of eating a hot dog in no less than four bites before moving onto another. Her actions weren't rushed, but rather absentminded. She wasn't in a good headspace and the simple action of eating was a welcome distraction. She chewed each bite thoroughly, relishing each mouthful before it disappeared into her steadily filling stomach.

The hollow space in Kit's core filled and her midriff started to expand with each disappearing hot dog. No longer was there an empty dip, now it was a rounded out curvature. Her previously rushed digestion settled in for the long haul as she loaded up on meat and carbs. Kit hummed softly for a moment before a gentle *urp* passed her lips.

“Scuse me.” Kit said out of habit. No one was here to perceive the outburst, but it felt wrong not to acknowledge it herself. Her hand returned to her midsection. The swell in her guts was easy to feel. The burp made room, but she was filling up quickly. She started to rub in a clockwise motion, restricting her hot dog intake to just one hand.

Even though Kit was feeling comfortably full, that was never her stopping point. She laid back fully in bed and felt the contents of her stomach moving with her. There was already extra weight to her movements and it was making her tail swish in excitement. She pressed on her bloated stomach lost in the sensation of filling herself.

*uuurp* “....oh~” Kit couldn't suppress the tiny moan that accompanied her belch. She was getting lost in the sauce, more specifically the double mustard. It was kicking her digestive system into overdrive as it tried to accommodate the plethora of calories she was dead set on consuming.

At this point Kit's more complex emotions had been forgotten. All of it was replaced with the simple pleasure of her guts being packed tight. She finished her latest hot dog and didn't immediately get another, just laid still and assessed what she did to herself.

Kit rested both paws on her bloated midsection and felt the turbulent digestion taking place. Beneath her fur was a symphony of exasperated groans. Her stomach was packed tight enough to be taut to the touch. It made her mewl as an aching pain accompanied each audible outburst from inside her.

“Why the fu-*urrkurp* Did I eat so much?” Kit questioned as another burp forced itself out of her. It offered no relief and only called more attention to how she was full beyond reasonable capacity; teetering on the edge of nausea…and pleasure. Each harsh churn of her digestive system elicited another moan from the cat.

“I'm so fucking full…” Kit whimpered to herself as she cradled her bloated midsection. Her skin was taught and beneath the surface her insides were shifting with the burden of calories packed inside it. All the cat could manage was a slow steady panting between pathetic moans as the uproar in her guts persisted. She could feel her overtaxed stomach trying to squeeze and digest its contents. Beneath her paw pad a torrent of ominous gurgling warned her of the internal struggle.

Kit turned on her side much to her stomach's dismay. This slight movement was necessary however. As her now expansive midsection rested on the bed beside her she cradled it protectively.

“Oh…settle down…” Kit pleaded as her insides squeezed and undulated. She could feel the harsh mechanical digestion taking place as her body worked steadily. Each churn sent a wave of pain and mild pleasure through her. She'd done it again, gone too far and would be dealing with this for hours. Unable to form any thoughts not related to digestion her binge eating session had accomplished her goal. All that was left was a bloated mess with only one worry, when this stomach ache from over indulgence would pass.

Kit's eyes were heavy now; any dampness from crying had dried and she was exhausted. Her paws roamed over her middle lazily as she comforted herself. It was all she could manage as her exhausted body now threatened to force her into unconsciousness. It wouldn't take much, moving was out of the question for the next several hours. Not to mention she couldn't remember the last time she slept. She just prayed it would be a dreamless slumber, or more accurately one without nightmares. The last thing she needed was for this to start all over again. Her waistline wouldn't be able to handle this kind of emotional eating regularly.

still got hemorrhoids (honestly caused from overinflating and not being gentle) and thanks to the idiot in office I don't have insurance. Even if I did id have to wait till im 40 to get a proper colonoscopy cuz I'm in the US so I'd have to get a checkup in another country, and my fiance and I have been planning on moving from the country for a while. Still have to save up for my first car tho so we can move somewhere with better job opportunities. Im rlly not one of these wealthy feedees, regardless I'm still so thankful for anyone who supports me. I still want a better job cuz ive only ever worked since I was a teen, and working an irl job is still my goal.