KK has tumblr

religion is bad when it hurts people. religion is bad when you do not have a choice in your worship, or when it is used to control people, or when it is used to bar people from living their lives as their authentic selves. it is bad when it propagates and excuses bigoted beliefs and policies.

-there’s a horse where I work named Lucy who HATES men

-like “bite your face off” levels of hate

-enter me, who’s been having gender thoughts but not really realizing what that means

-I’d been avoiding Lucy because I quite like having my face not bitten off thank you

-Then one day I forget that she hates men and I go into her stall with her to clean out the poo

-She Doesent Hate me but I don’t think anything about it because I don’t remember that she’s sexist

-Someone walks by and comments on how she never lets any men in there

-“ha ha weird”

-internally I’m screaming “holy shit holy shit holy shit”

-thoughts that I’ve been having suddenly start to make sense

But there’s a world of difference between doing what you love for you, and doing what you love for a paycheck. 

I went to undergrad for graphic design and 3-D design–art and more art, I usually say–and I loved it. You know what I didn’t love? Trying to collect my fees from clients. Trying to meet unrealistic, over-simplified or over-specific briefs from people who didn’t know what they were talking about. Coming home, having worked creatively all day, with no creative juice left for the things I wanted to do.

You know what I would tell you instead? Do something that you can be interested in, with people you like.

You don’t have to love it. Loving your work can be a lot, and it often means you have to live in your job 24/7. Some people can do that. Not everyone can, or should.  But if you can find work that’s interesting enough that it doesn’t feel tedious, and people you can enjoy spending your 9-5 with, and you can make money, that’s great! It means you can do the things you love for you.

I’m in law school now. It’s interesting work, and difficult, and I like doing it. I like how complicated it gets, and I like the stories it tells. But I don’t come home and read law journals for fun. I come home, and I sculpt, and I draw, and I paint, and I read. I do these things for me.

I chose to take a job that was not the most high-paying option available to me, because it wouldn’t require me to bill my time, I would have a better work-life balance, I found the work more engaging, and I really loved the office. It has paid off so much.

I get to walk to work, and most days I leave my laptop behind when I walk home at five. I have a little house with a little garden and a bunch of seedlings sprouting too early for spring. I have two stupid cats and two stupider doves and they make me happy. I put a little money into food and shelter for the neighborhood strays and name all my visiting opossums Harold. My art gets done when I feel inspiration striking, sometimes in the middle of the night, and I let my hobby fund itself without the pressure of deadlines. There is so much joy in making only what I want to. My sleep schedule has stabilized. For the first time in my life, I know the shape my days will take weeks and months away, because my routine is consistent, and I never knew what a peace that was. My job is predictable but never boring, interesting but not consuming, and it’s just a job. 

There are people who will tell you–people who have told me–that turning my back on an artistic career or a career you have “potential” in is selling out, or settling. 

me: i guess

hamlet: [is left on an empty stage] now i am alone

guys help i’m LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND over these fat tiger art scrolls

[ID: How can dog breeders sell puppies for over $1,000? Do these puppies shit gold? Do these puppies fight crime? Can they play the banjo? No they’re fucking infant dogs that poop on your things and love you omg. /end ID]

link to a reblog of the original post, this reblog is from 2013