tbh if someone just handed me a pressure washer and set me loose in the streets i would go into a trance and just start hosing shit down indiscriminately. it's not a question of how much i could clean, but how long until i get hit by a car and die

This is Jeff Goldum erasure

when tumblr gets inevitably deleted lets all go on one giant google doc

vampires really should be able to get drunk they literally have to be alive forever let them have this

hc: vampires have no blood so they get drunk faster than people

charlie pulling over a shirtless carlisle at 4 am: dr cullen your blood alcohol content is literally 100% how are you not dead carlisle: au contraire im absolutely dead

I did not expect a decent twilight joke on my dash in 2019, but nevertheless there it is and it’s hilarious.

no one coulda reblogged this a month ago when i spent 500

momentsbymarcus

Look at KB coming through

Every time you see this, reblog it. There is always someone in college that will see this.

Sharpening a pencil is like upgrading from 480p writing to 1080p writing.

If the purge was real every school would be burned down every time

adhd culture is staying up until you physically cannot hold your eyes open anymore so that you don’t have to lay in the dark waiting to fall asleep and being filled with debilitating boredom