The Ogre Rants Tonight.

Did they say two weeks of Low-Iodine Diet?

THEY LIED.

It’s two weeks, plus the two days it takes for the Nuclear Medicine Department at my hospital to inject two doses of Thyrogen into me (via both of my butt cheeks... seriously, they poked one cheek a day... with very long, and very painful needles), the one day I actually take in my radioactive iodine pill, one more day of letting the iodine settle/burn through whatever cancer cells/remnants of it are still inside me, and then the day of the Full Body Scan itself.

I have not been able to eat any food that has salt, or milk, or seafood/or anything that has carageenan/algae for the past fifteen days. I’m only allowed egg whites, a cup of pasta, and a slice of bread a day; plus six ounces of meat daily, too. Or something like that.

For the past fifteen days.

I know I shouldn’t be so irritated about this. It’s for my own health, for God’s sake. But you know, I’ve been doing this for four years in a row now. The first two years I was absolutely fine with it. IT’S FOR MY HEALTH. I know the whole purpose of a low-iodine diet is to “starve” whatever cancer cells I have left in my body of iodine, so that when I take in the radioactive iodine pill, the cells are eager and “hungry” for iodine--that will freaking burn them away for good. Even knowing all of that, I was surly about having to go on the dreaded diet last year.

This year I actually yelled at my mother for eating pasta carbonara in front of me, and barely choked down my dinner of egg whites, rice, and veggienaise (...Mayonnaise without eggs, gluten-free and organic and vegan stuff. Actually quite good, but.. eh).

So I guess that’s my rant. People think thyroid cancer’s possibly the easiest cancer to survive, and they’re probably right. It doesn’t metastasize to other parts of your body for years (talking from experience. Family friends first realized what I had jokingly called my “Adam’s Apple” was actually an alarming lump years before my endocrinologist commanded me to get a biopsy on it; only then was it revealed that I had ten cancerous nodules in my thyroid). It’s easy to take out of your body. But...

I WANT DEEP FRIED PEACH MANGO PIE!!! *ugly sobbing*

Seriously I hate having to do the annual diet thing. ;_; I miss my chicken bacon lunches and the blessed, sweet-salty goodness of traditional Filipino Food. Like Jollibee Chickenjoy meals and peach mango pies.

So. Weird thing happened.

Well, has been happening for the past five-ish months.

I was supposed to go into my third (and last) annual body scan last November, before docs announce me officially cancer-free. Problem: my endocrinologist’s secretary kept on messing things up with my insurance these past five months.

I know I ought to be worried or pissed or... you know, feel strong feelings against this person. But honestly I don’t.

:D

And I bet that’s because I’m hypothyroid; I literally couldn’t care any less, because most of my energy is focused on being nice at work (seriously. My coworkers are something else with the sexual harassment and passive-aggressive plays--why I have to be nice, I don’t fully understand either, myself). I mean if the scan comes, it comes, if not then eh. There’s always next year.

I should do something about my mother though. She’s angry/worried/blah as hell.

I mean I had papillary thyroid cancer. Had a total thyroidectomy to get rid of it two years ago, and as a consequence my doctor tells me I’m going to be hypothyroid for all of my life, basically. I take Levothyroxine; my face twitches, my fingers cramp rather painfully, and my moods are always black if I forget to take it. I also take Calcitriol and Calcium supplements, because my blood calcium levels are always low. I gained weight. My periods are irregular. I have weird moods at weird times. I’m also perpetually exhausted no matter what I try to do. Sometimes my body feels heavy. Other times so heavy I just want to stay in bed and sleep.

Now question: all of this, I know, are symptoms of hypothyroidism. It’s just… I *don’t* have a thyroid. Can my condition actually be considered hypothyroidism even so?