#hypothyroid

There came a time that I just didn't feel like I was at my best. My oldest sister had just been diagnosed with Hashimoto's and was encouraging the rest of us to look into our thyroid function. So I started listing out my symptoms- fatigue, menstrual inconsistencies, hair and nail changes, inability to lose weight, fertility struggles. My family doctor looked at my labs and didn't see anything concerning. (At one point he actually mentioned a possibility of PCOS, but also wrote it off per "normal" labs.) I insisted on a referral to an endocrinologist. I drove four hours roundtrip to go see one.

To this day, I have a trauma response when I see the man's name. He was the worst doctor I have ever met in my life. I told him my concerns and he told me I was just fat. He told me that women blame everything on thyroid because they don't have testosterone issues to blame it on, like men do. He told me that he wished everyone in the world had diabetes, because his diabetic patients were the only people who ever take care of themselves. I insisted on labwork, asking him to please look at any borderline results in the T3 and T4 especially, and it was like pulling teeth to get him to order them. Of course everything came back "normal", and he again reminded me that I just needed to actually take care of myself. I called his clinic manager to put in a formal complaint, and they just kinda shrugged. "Yeah, his bedside manner is terrible, but he's a great doctor. If he didn't actually do anything illegal or you're not searching for compensation, there is nothing we can do with the information you gave us. It is what it is."

Healing Hypothyroidism from the Inside Out

Hidden Gut Danger in Hypothyroidism

The Scientific Research Notes of S. Sunkavally (Years:2002-2011).

Switzerland, 1916. Seraphine spends her days taking care of her two half-brothers, who were born with a condition called cretinism, known today as congenital hypothyroidism. Their father is a hard man who wishes both boys were dead, and says so. Seraphine has never known her own father, who was not married to her mother. She dreams of a different life, where she can study, work, and make a…

I KNOW my fucking body.

I KNEW this was going to happen.

It doesn't matter if I'm "dieting" or not,

I CAN NOT eat AT ALL and lose weight.

It's just not possible. It never has been.

Never ever ever has been.

This time though, literally not even losing ONE pound even just defies fucking logic and science.

It's insane.

But nobody can say I didn't give a try before resorting to the only solution that has ever worked.

And at least now I can have pizza on the weekends or whatever.

Because I haven't really even had real cheat days this month.

I think like 2.

I had macaroni one day. And then I just balled out on Mexican food this weekend. But that was a "fuck everything" frfr cheat day. To the max.

But, even then, it's not like I ate a Chimichanga. I had shrimp fajitas. But I also ate cheese. Which was the big indulgence.

But anyway. Whatever.

I'm just saying, I did try.

I've pretty much just had smoothies/juices, eggs, oatmeal, salads, fish protein.

And trying so hard to get in as much protein as possible every day.

Cut simple carbs, like bread and flour and white rice. All that.

No candy. Or sweets, other than fruit.

Very limited dairy. The only dairy has been in Mediterranean food, like feta cheese.

How literally not one pound was lost, when prior to this, I ate whatever the fuck I wanted. And, for the most part, have been for years. Is beyond me.

I think maybe I usually eat less. But isn't one high calorie meal still worse than two balanced meals?

Smh

Idk. I think for me, no meals are possible.

But, geez. I've even had so much liquid through all this. Which kindof isn't a meal.

It's so frustrating.

But whatever. OK. That's all.

I'll just live off supplements now.

And if I'm still not losing any weight after a couple weeks of 6 days of restriction. Then... idk wtf.

It could mean I can't lose without drugs.

But I lost weight without drugs roughly 10 years ago. It just took awhile.

But I was definitely making better progress than now. JFC.

I'm losing my mind. I'm literally in tears with frustration right now.

I gained all this weight this year (2024) and I can't fucking stand it.

I need to understand something:

Before I spend another week dieting and not losing a single solitary pound (this post brought to you by the 30 minutes of my life I just wasted trying to understand if I should or shouldn't eat oatmeal with completely conflicting information 🙃).

I feel like the real issue (and why I'm on a diet right now in the first place) is my body's reaction to alcohol or lack thereof.

Granted, I feel like it would take a Dr. House type to figure this out. But everyone claims cutting alcohol is good for weight loss. For me, it's the total opposite. Literally why??? I seriously need someone to explain to me exactly how/why I gain massive weight in a very short amount of time (like 30lbs in 3 months 🤯) when I stop drinking. This has happened to me multiple times at multiple weights over the course of my life. But happens literally every time.

(well, it didn't happen when I was like under 21, but I also did a considerable amount of speed then and definitely just didn't eat enough in general, as most young girls do or don't. Whatever.)

I'm so frustrated and literally, at this point, if I could just be drunk all day, I would. But I have too much shit to do. So I really just don't have the luxury of drinking right now. And haven't been drinking this year because of my sinus issues, which is a whole other fucking thing.

Honestly

I hate my life so much right now. I don't think a day passes that I don't want to fucking kill myself. I'm losing my fucking mind and I hate that my body feels like a fucking prison and no matter what I do it fights against me every step of the way and always fucking has.