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@theo-toolsinthebox
Just a friendly reminder-
Please don’t EVER EVER compare your own pain to another person with chronic illnesses (or anyone for that matter). Remember that different people have different concepts and reactions to pain. One persons “3” on the scale can be a different persons “10.” It’s okay to say “I’m in a lot of pain” but to compare is potentially hurtful to others.
Just a reminder friends ;)
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Breaking News: cripplepunk is not an aesthetic or a subculture
People aren't denying you housing, jobs or basic human dignity because you're emo.
The government isn't expecting you to live on benefits that come under the minimum wage because you're lolita goth.
Every politically minded person, from right wing douchebags to hyper-liberal anarchists, aren't engaging in eugenics and/or conveniently forgetting you exist in their rhetoric because you like to go to raves and use glowsticks.
It doesn't matter what you wear or what music you listen to, there's still nowhere to sit, there are no accessible bathrooms and you can't even get into the club in the first place because there's a fucking step at the door.
Are you physically disabled? Do you believe cripplepunk is by and for physically disabled people? Do you agree that we don't have to uphold the image of the "good cripple", that were allowed to be loud, and vocal, and angry? That's it.
It's not a club. It's not a fucking aesthetic. We are suffering and forgotten and sidelined and we are angry about it.
Cripplepunk isn't stored in the spikes on your cane or the patches on your battle jacket. It's not how you cut and dye your hair, or how sharp your eyeliner is, or what year your Doc Martens are from. Fuck off.
shout out to people with unclear or unknown prognoses.
For people whose condition is under researched. For people whose condition is rare. For people whose condition doesn’t react to typical treatment. For people whose condition interacts with other comorbidities in unpredictable ways. For people without access to specialists.
It can be exhausting not knowing how your future (weeks or decades) will look. And it can be exhausting trying to explain to people that you don’t have the answers, that you don’t know if you’ll get better or when. It can be scary not knowing how to move forward, and what treatments to seek.
Look after yourself best you can with the uncertainty. You’re not alone.
I’ve only recently come to realize how sad it is to look back on my former healthier self- and not recognize them. As I’ve discovered my chronic illnesses, I’ve learned to miss that person. I just want to be able to run those miles again like she used to.
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Movies and TV likes to stereotype people with schizophrenia by making them horror movie villains or people who do awful things.
People with schizophrenia are NOT evil or scary. They are valuable, wonderful people who struggle with a mental illness.Â
STOP DEMONIZING SCHIZOPHRENIA.Â
Helping "sound sensitive" people
Hey y'all, as this page slowly grows, I thought it might be interesting to do a post for the upcoming fourth of July celebration (but it's generalized for any noisy event).
This post is meant for people willing to help their sound sensitive friends.
First off: If you're taking a friend, who is sensitive to loud noises, to a potentially noisy event, be prepared. Before you go, ask them what their coping skills can include for this. Ask for ways to tell if they're starting to get freaked out or shut down. Be prepared to have some of these skills available.
-In an example; for me, I tend to bring noise cancelling headphones and a calming playlist pre-downloaded. Of course, if it's a seriously loud event its not going to drown the entire sound out but it'll definitely help add some familiarity.
-Sometimes, having a fidget can help. It can alleviate some of the anxiousness or excess energy by focusing on small movements.
-Have a "hold" of your friend. Not anything like a dog or a pet, but the best way to explain it, is keep track of them. Hold their hand if they allow it, or just be aware of where they are. Being lost in a noisy place like a convention, etc can be really scary.
-Because tomorrow is the fourth of july, I'm going to do a section on fireworks...
-If they allow it, hold your friend. My friend lets me cuddle up next to them, as I jump at every single boom, him in a sense of friendly holding me down helps me feel comforted.
-Again have music. Of course fireworks are freaking loud as heck, so you'll want to pick some LOUD genre but make sure it's familiar music and crank that sound up.
-This is an odd one, and I honestly haven't tried it myself, but try earmuffs meant for shooting ranges. He claims it would probably help as they cancel out all the noise.
Lastly, this is for any event again (sorry I'm new to blogs and have no concept of organization).
Be prepared to move them from the area. Chances are at some point they'll become tired or even panicky and just plain need to be moved. Have some kind of backup escape plan and an area where you know it'll be less overwhelming to them. They may just need a break and need to relax for a while before returning.
Of course, thanks to my new followers. Please feel free to add on to this, reblog, etc.
Pleaseeee tag me in any posts similar to my content. I would love to see it.
{ #depression } || source: love_mental_wellness
What are some of the things you wish people knew to do and/or not do when trying to support a friend who is schizophrenic? The most I see talked about (which is still very little and not often correct) is some of what to do/not do when someone is experiencing psychosis, but what about some of the other symptoms? (Understanding that the specifics are gonna be different for different people)
Thank you so much for asking this question!!!
The biggest universal thing I wish people did to support a friend who is open about having schizophrenia is to ask them this very question. As you acknowledged, everyone is going to have a different answer, so the best thing to do if you have someone schizophrenic in your life is to have a genuine conversation with them about what would be most helpful. Be sure to have this conversation when they aren't in an acute psychotic episode of course, and understand if they don't have an answer immediately. But I've noticed that there's a lot of hesitation to bring up the concept of schizophrenia, even with people who are open about having it. It doesn't have to be some scary taboo subject, and if your friend generally seems comfortable talking about it you don't have to avoid it. An open conversation about how it affects them and what you can do can go a long way.
As for helping with specific symptoms, the biggest piece I want people to remember is patience. If your friend is having a bad day with cognitive or disorganized symptoms they might have trouble communicating or understanding complex thoughts. If they're caught in a delusion they might believe something that seems to you to be obviously untrue, and it might be frustrating that they can't just realize that they aren't making sense. If they’re struggling with paranoia they may ask you for reassurance about the same thing repeatedly. If their negative symptoms have been acting up they might be struggling with personal hygiene or become socially withdrawn. Through all of this, being patient and trying to meet your friend where they are is the key.
I'm also going to include some basic dos and don'ts that I've seen mentioned before that are important to reiterate:
DO NOT tell your friend that their psychosis is "spiritual" or encourage their delusions/hallucinations by suggesting non-medical reasons for their symptoms. Even making a joke like "Ooh what if it is a ghost lol" can be EXTREMELY harmful if your friend is in a psychotic episode.
DO NOT offer unprompted reality checks. Don't try to convince your friend that what they believe is untrue, even if it is. Although it is often non-psychotic people's first instinct, if done incorrectly or in the wrong circumstance this can be very dangerous
DO NOT condescend to your friend or treat them as incapable (should be obvious but you'd be surprised)
DO NOT push your friend to ignore their limits, do things that stress them out, or do things that scare them
DO reassure your friend that you care about them and that their symptoms don't make you like them any less
DO respect their agency and their abilities, while also listening if they set limits
DO offer to help with either practical tasks or comfort during a psychotic episode if it seems appropriate, while keeping your own well-being in mind. Don't offer to help if it would be too much stress for you or if it would turn you into a caregiver rather than a friend. Offer what you can, but don't let their symptoms or the help you give fill your relationship with resentment.
DO be honest. If your friend asks you a question about pretty much anything, try to be honest as a lot of people with schizophrenia have serious trust issues and being lied to can ruin a relationship. Also, if your friend's symptoms are causing problems in your relationship, have a kind, honest conversation with them about how to proceed going forward. It's always better to be straightforward and keep the health of the relationship in mind. You might be worried about hurting your friend, but if there's an issue you need to bring up it's better to be up front than to leave someone with paranoia wondering about your feelings and actions.
This post is okay to reblog, as I think some of the advice I've given here could be useful for people to see.
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LOVING VINCENT (2017) dir. Dorota Kobiela, Hugh Welchman
“Listen to me, your body is not a temple. Temples can be destroyed and desecrated. Your body is a forest — thick canopies of maple trees and sweet scented wildflowers sprouting in the underwood. You will grow back, over and over, no matter how badly you are devastated.”
— Beau Taplin, Temples
A unique way to understand your friends depression
A lot of times, the feeling of depression is indescribable, which can be a real pain when you’re just trying to understand things.
This goes for both “helpers” and anyone struggling.
For those helping:
Ask your friend how they’re feeling. They’re likely going to struggle to say anything. This is what this is meant for.
Use artwork to understand how they’re feeling. Ask them to find a piece of artwork online that represents how they feel.
This sounds silly, but it’s helpful really.
It may be difficult to understand the artwork they choose at first. But after a while it will become easier.
For those on the other side:
When you feel you can’t express yourself, try this.
Go online (Pinterest is the best for this) and try searching a few things, I’ll have some below:
1- Art representing depression
2- Art representing mental illness
Find some artwork that connects with you. Even if it’s just a small minor detail, send it to your friend or emotional support person.
Let them know this is how you feel. If they’re confused let them guess, you can even play the hot/cold game. This can help in two ways; 1-distracting you 2- having your friend understand you.
As always feel free to add on, comment, etc.
Sorry for the long post!
How to help a selectively mute friend
Most important:
If a person goes mute DO NOT force them to talk.
Also, please please do not leave them alone.
They are struggling, asking for help.
Talk to them, as if they were holding a conversation. No, they may not always answer but they might nod or shake their head and most of the time they’re still listening. The absolute worst is being unable to talk so people ignore you, please ask if they want you to stay and talk to them. Sometimes you talking to them can help distract.
If they know sign language, take the time to learn some as well. Even if you only know basic sign it can still help. The excuse “but I can read their emotions” doesn’t always work. Sometimes they need someone to understand them.
Do your research on their conditions. Sometimes an underlying condition can lead into their mutism and helping with that can resolve some.
Do not judge them. They are struggling and this is their way of protecting themselves. Keep them safe, take them somewhere quiet if needed, try to keep them away from triggering situations.
This isn’t a lot but hopefully it’ll help just enough.
If you see this post and know of more ways to help absolutely feel free to add!
I’d like to add something @december-rains said yes absolutely there’s more ways to communicate. There’s writing, texting, drawing, and more. My personal go to is texting because my handwriting is basically impossible to read, but anything works. Ask your friend what works for you.
I’d also like to note, I didn’t tag autism in this post and I forgot so I can tag it autism as well, however it’s for multiple conditions too!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Please check on your friends during these times. Especially those with mental illness.
Even if they say they’re fine or whatever ask them what you can do for them.
If they say it doesn’t matter you tell them it does matter. It matters to you.
If they avoid the question, ask what’s wrong or how you can help.
Even if you know they aren’t well, ask them how to help, take them to coffee or something get them away from their thoughts.
Man nothing hurts more than suffering on your own. They will hide from you, you must help shine the light in their corner.
Helping someone who may be shutting down (due to depression, psychosis, etc)
Im going to compile a couple of different things. Because I’ve noticed over time, many people don’t know how to help their mentally ill friends. This post will be trying to distract someone who may be shutting down.
-Ask them what their favorite color they saw today was. This sounds odd but it mostly works. Get them to talk about it. Ask where they saw it, what was around it, etc, the whole thing is meant to distract from current thoughts and make them focus on something else. If they’re still not doing well, hand them Pinterest and tell them to find a photo or an aesthetic theme with the color in it. This usually does the final trick.
-Distract, distract, distract.
-Hand them music, make sure it’s obviously not triggering or possibly going to cause stimming.
-reassure them. Don’t make them think that they’re bothering that’s going to make it worse.
-Talk to them. Seriously.
Again, this isn’t much but I’m hoping people will add their stuff onto these at which I can create a gigantic list of ways to help.
