Thatβs why Iβm scared to blink again.
Time. It doesnβt mean anything. Or we canβt really know if it means anything. For time is something that our predecessors have defined sometime long ago. A long time ago, when the idea of everything being metrizable was recognized.
And thatβs how weβve come to know time. Countable seconds or decades. But before as an attribute that shows the limitation of life. Of how everything goes forward. Regardless of what we want.
How one day weβre here and one day we will be gone.
But accepting this law of nature is perhaps not the worst or scariest thing. No. Itβs how quickly everything moves forward.
Everything. We and our lives as well.
Like in the blink of an eye. Therefore, the blink of an eye is equal to the length of a lifetime.
Itβs not long since we were born here. Innocent, albeit against our will.
Itβs not long since we were children without worries.
Itβs not long since we were happy. Itβs not long since we were hurt.
And today. In this moment, we are what time and life have made us.
It may be that we only realize it now. What we have become.
What about in the future? What will we be tomorrow or years from now? None of us can know that. But each of us will find out soon enough. Perhaps sooner than we would like.
Thatβs why, maybe one day in the future, we will wake up again. To see how the weeks and years have passed us by again. To how life and time have changed us again.
Thatβs when, again, we start counting. On how much time we still have left.
Thatβs why I wish. Oh, how I wish.nThat I could prevent my eyes ever blinking again.
It doesnβt matter if it hurts. It doesnβt matter if I have to beg time for mercy.
Because I want to see every moment of my short life.
Because deep down Iβm scared. Of where and what kind of Iβll find myself next time.
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Are you scared of how fast time goes by?
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I'm scared. Not often, because in every way I fight to be able to live in the moment. But still, from time to time I wake up to see it. To notice where time and life have brought me. To worry about whether I have lived my short life as fully as I should have. To Regret knowing that I have not.
That's why I hope time would give me and others like me some mercy. So that we could enjoy time and the moments it brings along with everything else weβre dealing with. Along with everything else we have to survive in our lives.
Because many of us are just trying to survive. About how we may have been bound in the name of love sometime long ago. About how we might have been hurt sometime long ago. From all of this we still carry the darkness and the scars that still keep consuming us.
In those moments of being bound or in pain, I, and I'm sure many others, wished that time would just pass. Go by quickly.
So that we would end too. So that we wouldnβt need to suffer a moment longer.
When we needed it the most. Or now when we need. That's when time seems to pass slower than ever.
It feels that way. But in reality, even in these moments, time passes just as quickly as before.
And that's what's so comforting, in our darkest moments. How limited our time here is after all. The way everything ends. Everything. Even our pain. One way or another. Whether we in the moment believe it or not.
With this comforting thought, we can find the strength to live our lives. To find those moments of happiness between our moments of pain. When we again want to beg for time to slow down.
So we could see all the small and big miracles that life has meant for us.