The Model Horse

Peter: I don’t know. Maybe pizza?

Lara Jean:

Peter:

If the things that have been done to you leave you traumatized, then reguardless of your abusers feelings on the matter, they traumatized you and their actions were abuse. If your parents traumatized u then they werent genuinly healthily loving and supportive because healthy genuine love and support does not traumatize!! Thats the whole point.

This bullshit mindset that “people can hurt u but still love u and think theyre doing the right thing” benifits no one but abusers. It excuses their actions by painting them as “understandable” or just “misunderstandings” when theyre not. It helps to create a culture that doesnt believe children and excuses parents because “theyre doing what they think is best and they still love them” and thats directly harmful to victims.

My mother genuinely thought she was doing the right thing when she locked me in rooms and hit me and screamed at me. My father genuinely thought he was doing the right thing when he told me to kill myself. When he would threaten to kill me, or my mother and brother. That doesnt mean shit.

Fjord Horse being hoisted aboard a ship

of Netflix’s To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, was not getting to hear Peter say this to Lara Jean after receiving his letter:

“The homophobic statute that was overturned is a product of British colonialism in India.” 

True. Section 377 was implemented by British Raj in India, possibly as an effort to safeguard Victorian mores.

“Prior to that, India had a rich and vibrant queer community that played important functions in society.”

Say, what??????

Can you please tell me what the “important functions in society” were, my dear fella? Contrary to tumblr’s belief, homophobia was not a western (or christian) invention. We were plenty homophobic on our own, thanks. Literally, the only acceptable ‘queerness’ in society was a laundebaaz (aka, one who does it to men/boys) whereas the gandu (aka the one who takes it up the ass) was considered the lowest of low in society. Even now, gandu is a derogatory word similar to faggot. Does that sound like “venerating queerness” to you dear?

Also, lesbians? LOL. What lesbians?? Funnily enough, even in “a society venerating queerness" lesbianism is practically unheard of. Furthermore, the ‘celebration of queerness” in these cultures is mostly male receiving partners being pushed to the margins of society.

But hey, why consider boring things like reality… when you can have Cool-Tumblr-Version-of-Queer-Feminist-Utopia-Before-the-Whiteys-Fucked-Everything-Up™ brand of history?

“There were queer Hindu gods and hijras serve as an example of how queerness in society was venerated”

Firstly, there “were queer Gods”? What happened to them? Did they die when colonialism happened? Did they go, “Ah… those dastardly British have set foot on India and are imposing their Victorian mores, perhaps we should pack up our bags and leave”? I might be a tad bit uninformed in my “queer Gods”, considering the fact that I was born into and practicing Hinduism since my birth and so has all my forefathers, but according to my knowledge those “Queer Gods” still remained in society. Yet, homophobia persisted. Heck, Sabarimala is one of the most pilgrimage sites (that has the son of ‘Queer Gods’ as the deity), and even now “youthful females” (i.e., women of ages from their first menstruation till menopause) are NOT ALLOWED TO ENTER.

Despite being the son of queer gods, Ayyappa still seems to be misogynistic as fuck.

Secondly, you might wanna brush up on those queer gods and legendary figures… almost in all of them one of the couple gets magically changed to other sex and begets a biological child. Biological procreation and production of progeny - it seems as if even the Gods have to perform and conform to heteronormativity.

Now,

“hijras”

I wish I got dollars for every time a White Ally™ misused or misrepresented hijras. Contrary to popular belief, hijras are not transexuals (at least not all of them). There are different types of hijras - those who were born hermaphrodites, those who castrate themselves and proclaim to be neither man nor woman, those who are homosexual men who crossdress, and those who are men who do not perform masculinity to society’s standards. They are literally gender non-conforming men : either their homosexuality is a deviancy that needed to be corrected; or their lack of assertion of heterosexuality was a mistake to be corrected, or they just liked “girly things” too much.

So, these “venerated positions” that they supposedly held was quite literally the only option left to them - they were kicked out of society and jobs. I know a lot of people on tumblr would say “but they were in kings’ courts and all”. Guess why? They were either entertainers (a part of the dance troupe) because that ‘girly’ job was seen apt for them. Generally, dancers were not seen in positive light. They were considered at best as courtesans and at worst as prostitutes. Even now, “attakari” (dancer) is a term used to say a woman is a slut. 

Second option for them was as guards or companions (sahelis). This was to ensure “the purity of noble woman”. After all, when the “purity of the womb” is of the utmost importance, a king/noble wouldn’t even trust male guards with their women. Heck, there are even legends of gnc men being coerced into castration so as to make guards for ladies. That is why they were the guards of many noble’s harems - not because they were valued for their capabilities, but because they couldn’t “damage the property” (i.e., have penetrative sex with the royal’s women). 

Nowadays, most of them cannot get a decent jobs, and literally have to beg in trains and buses to get food on their tables. Oh, this is also a part of the “veneration” : they have no livelihood, so they go and threaten people with curses (their otherness makes them freaky, and according to superstition gives them supernatural powers), so that people will donate some money in fear.

This is not including the young boys and men that were pushed into sex mafia and trafficking.

So, miss me with that “veneration” bullshit.

“This is not something to patronize India over and congratulate ourselves in the West for. This is a victory for India reclaiming their culture.”

Do you know what I find patronising? White allys who has read Buzzfeed articles on ‘hijras’ or ‘queerness’ somehow pretending to speak for us. Lauding us  for our extremely open/feminist/queer Culture™ that they know of through exoticized magazines and power yoga videos.

I once read an essay on how Indian patriarchial system countered westernization (in an effort to prevent women from going outside their homes) by claiming that while British might  be materialistically more advanced than Indians, ~spiritually Indians are better than British~.

I have seen a lot of comments saying that To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before is an overhyped movie. That it’s just “cute” and that’s it. While I respect people’s opinions and they’re entitled to what they think, I thought I would highlight some of the things that made the movie stand out for me, and maybe this was something they have missed? [ including links wherever I can to lead to posts that explain the point in more depth ]

ASIAN REPRESENTATION.

No stereotyping of the Asian characters.

Realistic portrayal of high school .

The relationship between the sisters isn’t sidelined for the romance arc. 

Peter Kavinsky is a one-of-a-kind male protagonists because he’s a non-jerk jock, handles the letter nicely instead of embarrassing her and is legit the nicest male protagonist in like, forever.

Depiction of families raised by single parents, and none of the kids turned out to be assholes because they had a missing parent.

Peter has zero toxic masculinity about him, from the start. He is also not emotionally stunted with “issues” about dealing with feelings.

Success dethrones Hollywood’s idea of people wanting to see white leads. Fake news. 

Lara Jean is a sweetheart, so relatable. Doesn’t change drastically for the sake of the guy. He likes her for who she is and merely tries to get her to loosen up a little.

Lara Jean doesn’t need the guy to solve her problem; she confronts Gen herself. 

Has all tropes that people usually die for - fake dating, jock x quiet girl, off the top of my head.

Healthy treatment of the above cliches.

Amazing cinematography and soothing colour palette.

Unbelievably talented cast.

Great soundtrack.

Reblog and feel free to add on, I’m sure I’m forgetting something!