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weather authorities reportedly issuing a severe "wednesday alert" for tomorrow

everyone eat more vegetables NOW!!! and mention the last vegetable you ate in the tags so we're all on the buddy system. I'll start: bok choy

white ppl with small dogs will go places u never thought possible

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

doomscrolling tiktok together and I turn to you and ask, "why doesn't your algorithm recommend any videos with Black people?"

arts degrees r so funny because you go in class and theyre like What Is A Poem? we dont know for sure... and then moral of the story is we don't know what a poem is. and then the worst part of it is that theyre right

who turned them german mid tag ?

how do you know they were transformed midday?

There is no greater bond on this earth than when you all despise and carry untold righteous anger about one person and then when you’re all together someone is like “so about that dead horse” and everyone starts sounding like Michael Jackson with the way they’re chanting beat it

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

This person hated videodrome so much they forgot their gender

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian 

its like ive never seen herbivore

we have to fuck nastyyyy in order for the workers revolution to be victorious we have to fuuuuuuuuck

at the club no drinks.in.fully stone cold sober: what if thsre was a secret city

Face twists with bravery as a chill runs through the air We have to find it.

We have to find it