See the thing is...

i love when pets huff or sigh dramatically. like i am sorry. you're so right. you live such a laborious life. it must be so difficult to take naps and get pet and fed treats and played with all day. really a packed schedule youve got there boss. how do you manage it all. well no matter i'd say it's time for your well earned 7th afternoon nap

to me, correctly using 5+ commas in a single sentence is like perfectly executing a combo in a fighting game. to me.

if you think a sentence needs 5+ commas it should be two sentences

it’s not about what the sentence needs, i’m afraid, nor is it about economy, clarity, or style. it’s about winning, little-theatre-fairy.

me rn sigh

What was it she had to knock down before she could open it?

A wedge, presumably one inserted in the vain hope that it would prevent the door from actually opening even if she unlatched it.