Insolent Heathen

“what’s your five year plan” bro i wake up every day confused by the fact that i’m even alive

to increase steel production 300%

☝️

why were you microwaving a lemon???

I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn’t own any pots

Did you burn an orange too? How???

Microwave for 40 minutes 😔

if i had seen the transition from sepia to color in wizard of oz in 1939 i would have lost my shit i would've started screaming in the theater

The technique of switching between double and main actor without an edit is called a Texas Switch and it's still used today, it's very neat to have something so simple yet tricky persist pretty much just because it genuinely looks better to do it with timing than with editing.

reblog this if you came from twitter or came back here after elon musk took over twitter

No Noise November. everyone shut up

if i hear a single sound

beep

Stop replying "Omg I hate getting news this way!!" on tumblr memes about major current events. This is the best way to receive national news ever devised and this is the best website on earth

i dont wanna be like rude or whatever but if you die without ever seeing the northern lights irl it may have all been for nothing

mcqueen

im begging of you please dont take my man

habitable zone

from a cracked screen on an empty stomach.

My email signature

an air fryer is not a fryer nor is it a microwave its a desktop convection oven i wish more people understood this and i wish that the gulf war never happened