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@themathmusician
autism is living by vampire rules. light sensitivity. eating the wrong food makes you want to die. need to be explicitly invited places. weird sleep schedule. eating the same thing every time. specific rituals and routines. burst into flames at the sight of a crucifix. etc.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Oh baby
my favourite post in the whole wide world
i do think its interesting that canonically, at the beginning of the long game, shane is more comfortable with his queerness. he's out to his team and generally known as queer throughout the league. his hair is longer. he's happy in his relationship. the thing he's worried about is things spiralling out of his control. ilya starts wanting things that he didn't expect. the plan he set out for them isn't making them happy. he has to contend with the fact that he's doing something wrong in his relationship and make a change. so he makes a new plan. it goes wrong. heated rivalry was about shane accepting himself. tlg is about accepting that things have to change. and i think post tlg shane is about accepting that this thing he protected for so long isn't his own anymore.
anyway shane hollander should meet dan howell
Ilya pointing to a person walking a dog: That could be us, you know.
Shane: I would never wear a leash that color.
Ilya: ...I meant we could get a pet.
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shane getting really into birding and getting those hummingbird feeding glasses and rings and sitting so so still out in the garden as hummingbird after hummingbird comes up and drinks from his little buffet and the flowers that surround him and ilya looking on so so fondly as shane just sits there with his little 🙂 face.... myshane.... they trust you...
yes im addicted to attention and orgasms and food and shiny jewlery and 7$ Iced Lattes. does that really not sound like an awesome lifestyle to you
ilya posts a video on instagram with the caption “my husband and the dog he didn’t want” and it’s shane cradling anya like a baby outside the vet’s office whispering “you were so brave, honey. we’ll get you a pup cup on the drive home and you can sit in my lap while papa drives. you did such a good job when the scary lady poked you. such a good girl” and people everywhere lose their fucking minds
Maladaptive deeply held belief: nobody could ever love me. Im going to die alone
Positive counterthought: maybe someone has an exceptionally rare form of mental illness that would cause them to make the grave mistake of wanting to fuck me
i think the whole Having A Job thing would be less bad if people in management positions were capable of planning and abstract thought
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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1st base: raw ethically dubious fucking
2nd base: exist in a public space together
3rd base: you witness me have a real, candid emotion
4th base: I reveal an aspect of my tragic backstory to you
The OBSESSION with identity is so crazy like the view that when you do something it immediately becomes part of your identity and all the parts of you have to click together to become “person who wakes up early” or “person who reads” no you can literally just do something without restructuring your whole performance of personhood around it. I don’t know what to tell you except that you will never be able to have an entirely unfractured view of yourself or that you will be able to rationalize all the complex parts of yourself into the phrase “person who x” like you should just be doing things without performing them. Or aestheticizing them. Just try different things on and keep what works for you. Otherwise you will never learn and grow!
bus is my friend. shes no train but shes trying her hardest in a world that hates her
@ardeniart
Wait I’m sorry parent/child incest fic?????? Why does that exist? Why do you KNOW that exists?????? What the fuck 🤢
I feel like you can sort of tell how long (or not) someone has existed in fannish spaces by how outraged they get about things like this. Like rings in a tree trunk lol. I've been in so many fandoms. At least one, but often multiple at the same time, since I was a teenager. I've seen just. Everything.
Sex pollen. Mpreg. Incest. Monster fucking. Tentacles. Pairings like Snape/Hermione that would be crazy abusive and illegal if they were real. Wild kinks. The babygirlification of all kinds of villains. So much RPF (the 'I sincerely believe they are secretly a couple' kind and the 'this is fictional but it's fun to imagine they're in love' kind.)
You learn to just scroll past shit you don't like or unfollow people or filter tags. The tldr of fandom is that humans are weird as fuck. And creative, and unhinged, and traumatized, and talented. And amazing. And every single thing that you clutch your pearls about 'well surely someone doesn't want to read/write THAT!' - someone does. Probably lots of people do. And those people are perfectly normal. In their offline lives, they're parents and siblings and they have jobs and friends and they go about their lives and they don't cause any harm. And that's the sticking point. There's this really concerning, frankly highly Evangelical idea that if someone enjoys the wrong kind of fiction, they are obviously a Bad Person. But nothing is that simple, and thought crimes aren't real, and you definitely have some thoughts or ideas that someone else would find fucked up. You don't have to like every kind of fic that exists. I certainly don't. But shaming people for their harmless fantasies about fictional characters is so boring. I saw Goody Proctor enjoying a Toxic Ship! Good for you, I'll alert the pope.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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@bugslibraryy asked a very fair question, here is my answer:
the first time shane tells ilya he wants to ride him, he’s a blushing, eye contact avoiding, mess.
they’re making out hard, clothes half off as they lay on the couch, ilya on top of him when shane pulls back, lips swollen, voice barely a whisper. “i want… um.”
ilya leans down and runs his lips along shane’s jaw, “you want… what?”
shane huffs a little and ilya looks up to see his eyes trained on the ceiling now. ilya moves up into his line of sight and before shane can turn his head to avoid his eye contact ilya reaches a hand up and grips his chin making him stay put and look at him, “you want what, hmm?”
shane takes a steadying breath, looking into ilya’s eyes, he normally hates eye contact, but with ilya it feels different.
“i want to… ride you. i mean, like try to at least.”
ilya’s mouth drops open a little at the statement, his pulse thuds in his neck and he finds himself without speech imagining shane hollander rolling his hips on his lap. he nods slow and long, his tongue peeking out his open mouth to lick his bottom lip.
“yeah? you want to bounce on my cock, hollander?” he hears his raspy voice say.
shane swallows and nods, ears scarlet, trying to turn to hide his face but ilya keeps holding him by the chin.
ilya works him open for so long, making sure he’s nice and ready but once shane’s sinking down—slow, hot, gasping—something flips. his hips roll experimentally, then harder, chasing that perfect angle until he’s bouncing like he’s starving for it, hands bracing on the back of the couch for leverage, little desperate sounds spilling out of his pink wet lips.
“da—yes—hollander, jus’ like that,” ilya groans, gripping his waist, eyes wild. “look at you, hmm? doing so fucking good.“
shane’s initial embarrassment has burnt away. he rides ilya like he owns him, like his strong sculpted thighs were made to do just this. it’s messy and wild and perfect.
ilya cums first. and how could he not? he had no choice in the matter when he’s looking up at shane’s sweaty flushed face scrunched in exhaustion and pleasure as he bounces up and down frantically in ilya’s lap chasing his own release.
shane is bulking and he’s got a tummy peeking out more so than he’s ever had before and ilya has him bent like a pretzel almost on his back and is fucking him deep and slow and puts a hand on shane’s lower stomach and is looking down so cocky “can you feel me here sweetheart? feel my cock in your tummy?” and shane is just groaning and nodding.
and his huge useless dick is slapping against his tummy yes yes incredible @tothecottage
