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@themathmusician
autism is living by vampire rules. light sensitivity. eating the wrong food makes you want to die. need to be explicitly invited places. weird sleep schedule. eating the same thing every time. specific rituals and routines. burst into flames at the sight of a crucifix. etc.
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Thank you divorce for all you've done for music
sister post to this
How dare you leave this in the tags.
one thing that i really, really appreciated about heated rivalry was that one little moment in the finale where shane is stressed about their relationship getting out, and ilya reaches over and kisses him in front of shane’s parents. i genuinely cannot recall the last time i saw a kiss between a queer couple in front of other characters that wasn’t a huge dramatic moment. but this was written and performed the same way that little kisses are done with straight couples. and i think this is so, so important for a story like this. and i really appreciate how simple and casual it was. that was one of my favorite moments in the entire show.
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something something ilya being obsessed with shane’s tummy continued:
ilya is absolutely infatuated with shane’s stomach. shane is an avid moisturizer thanks to yuna, so he’s soft all over, but the skin on his stomach is especially smooth. ilya is obsessed with rubbing and kissing it during sex obviously, but it’s more than that.
anytime they’re cuddling, ilya’s hand is up shane’s shirt. he’s scrolling on his phone, rubbing a hand firmly up and down shane’s stummy. sometimes he’ll shove his head under shane’s shirt so he can lay on his stomach. shane gets nervous and takes the shirt off when ilya’s been under there for too long because he doesn’t want him to suffocate.
when shane’s making dinner, ilya is constantly yelling at him to take off his shirt. if shane refuses, he comes over and does it himself, planting a kiss on his belly.
he loves his hard abs in the morning, but also how his stomach distends a little after dinner. he loves that he can hear shane breathe and his organs work to digest when he lays his ear on his tummy.
he especially loves watching shane workout shirtless in their basement gym, hot and sweaty and panting. watching his breath go in and out behind his bellybutton makes him feel mushy inside in a way he can’t put into words. he watches as it goes from in and out and in and out to a more slow in out as shane cools down.
years after they retire, naturally shane gains some weight and doesn’t keep up with his grooming as much as he did when he was constantly naked in the locker room and doing photoshoots all the time. and ilya dieeeesss. he loves the little trail of hair up from his groin and the softer give to his stomach. the skin is still just as soft and still makes a good pillow.
shane wakes up for the 1000th time with his shirt pushed way up around his neck, ilya’s hand protectively splayed over his bellybutton.
I’m still intrigued by the idea that shane has a harder time adjusting to ilya’s captaincy style in ottawa than he expects. I feel like the metros vs. raiders locker rooms were probably soooo different. I imagine shane as the kind of captain who runs an extremely tight ship with very high standards for professionalism but maybe, uh, not as much room for fun or goofing off or all the casual bonding stuff that makes guys feel like Brothers In Arms. it’s a good place to work in that you can expect everyone to work hard and excel but it also feels very much like a workplace where you are sort of tacitly expected to leave your personal life at the door. like shane is going to treat you well as a colleague but unless you’re hayden he’s probably not going to remember your wife’s name or your kids’ ages and favorite sports at school. and if you’ve got personal life stuff going on outside of work it’s like… ok but you’re at work now? he’s got personal life stuff going on too (see: messy secret gay situationship with a disaster bisexual) and he’s not letting it affect his game.
whereas I think ilya as a captain is one of those people who seem to be running an extremely loose ship (it’s noisy it’s chaotic guys are roughhousing during practice people prank guys other all the time everyone’s out a little later than they should be at the bar together etc etc) but actually the second something starts souring in the atmosphere it becomes obvious that ilya has his finger on the pulse of the room and absolutely nothing escapes his notice. and he has a knack for fixing things or smoothing things over without it actually seeming like he’s intervening at all, just by saying the right thing to the right guy at the right moment or giving someone a little nudge or taking some of the guys out drinking and by the end of the night it’s somehow all resolved even though no one can remember what happened or how he did it.
ANYWAY I think when shane comes into that cens locker room it would be fun for him to be initially silently appalled by how cavalier ilya seems be about his leadership position. like shane has no problem not wearing the C on his new team but is ANYONE wearing the C here??? and I think it would be funnnn for them to have some friction about it at first where shane’s being silently judgy about it but refusing to come out and say anything and ilya’s getting annoyed but also like a little wounded by it because it’s the same attitude his dad always had about his leadership style. and ALSO in his secret heart of hearts he sort of feels like… his raiders, to a man, would have died for him and still loved him even after he left boston in the lurch with zero explanation, whereas shane’s metros threw him under the bus the second he came out… and then when they finally have a big blowout fight about this & that last part surfaces it’s very hurtful to shane because of course everyone loves ilya that’s because people are so EASY for ilya!!!! ilya doesn’t even have to work for it he just shows up and winks at people and cracks a few jokes and everyone is falling all over themselves to make him happy!!!! and maybe shane isn’t good at people but he’s good at being a fucking professional and that’s why he has three cups to ilya’s one!!!! anyway it gets messy and everyone storms off to lick their wounds and then they make up later and eventually ilya admits that OKAY maybe he could stand to be a little more of an hardass when guys are slacking off in practice or whatever and then shane admits that OKAY maybe remembering stuff about your teammates’ families or knowing when a guy’s in the throes of an ugly divorce and needs a little bit of grace is important to helping guys click with each other and feel emotionally invested in what you’re building together, and also it’s kind of hot when ilya makes crazy scoring bets with the guys and then comes back to collect. and then of course having resolved all of this they fuck about it
job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?
job interviewer: (reading the room) would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for a pizza party?
it’s so hard for me to not doxx myself every single day btw. my oversharer’s spirit is being stifled by internet safety
full nsfw on patreon
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i need ilya to be the little spoon so bad. i need shane to be so curled up around him. i need him nuzzling into shane’s chest. i need his curls to be pet and played with. i need him tucked into shane’s neck. i need his back scratched. i need shane cooing in his ear. i need him to have so many soothing kisses. i need him to wake up so wrapped up and loved up, he forgets for a moment that he ever felt lonely.
ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to deny location sharing and turn off personalized ads and reject all non-essential cookies and not set up siri and face ID
Come on guys, the weird shipping has to stop. Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov have only just recently put their differences aside to start the Irina Foundation and they're doing a lot of good. We don't want to jeopardize that with parasocial rpfing.
tell me this isn't them I dare you
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shane has to get new glasses every three months because they keep breaking during sex
Shoved facedown into pillow during doggy
tossed them to the side when riding and then they rolled on top of them when Ilya took over
Knocked off while making out and then stepped on
Somehow got between the mattress and headboard and then slammed repeatedly
Accidentally popped lens out when cleaning cum off them
Fell into lake when fucking on the dock, gone forever
Wedged between center console and passenger seat when fucking in car and broke when trying to pry them out
shane saying "really? :)))" is literally the exact same thing as when u ask a dog if they want a treat and they do that excited little wiggle-whine-jump
