Don your bib

@marlene wants to throw some sort of party with this theme so here’s a few ideas for comestibles. If I couldn’t tie in some sort of specific theme, then the foods were kept light for heaven and dark/heavy for hell. The Skewers are inspired by the likely torture methods found in hell, the lamb lollipops are a rack of lamb separated into individual ribs kept attached to act as lollipop handles. The bone is reminiscent of hell. The salmon mousse on crackers is for Jesus replicating fish and bread to feed the hungry. These are just ideas, add what you like especially as far as drinks.

Heaven                                                     Hell

Mead                                                        Mulled Red Wine

Lighter Beers/IPAs                                   Darker Beers

Onion Rings or Calamari (Halos)             Pickled Deviled Eggs

Wings                                                       Mini Veggie Skewers

Apple Stuffed Dates (Eve)                       Curly Fries (Snake)

Salmon Mousse and Crackers                Shrimp Skewers

Panini/Grilled Caprese Sandwich            Lamb Lollipops

Chicken Meatballs w/ tsatziki                   Chili

                                                                 9 Layers of Hell Nacho Dip

Dessert:

Cotton Candy                                            Truffles

Popcorn Balls                                           Molten Chocolate Cake

Buckle up, these beans will rock your taste buds. This isn’t just me saying stuff to promote my recipe, these legitimately are the most flavorful beans I’ve ever had.

Let’s start with the ingredients, then I will post pictures for the method.

32 oz Dry Great Northern Beans        8 oz. Bacon     

1.5lbs Smoked Pork/Ham Hock         8-9C of Lightly brewed Keemun Black Tea

1 Bay Leaf      2T Fennel Seed          4oz Chipotles in adobo

2 Granny Smith Apples                      2 Medium Yellow onions

1 qt Stock (Vegetable, pork, chicken, beef whatever you want)

2C Apple Cider     1/2C Apple Cider Vinegar   1T Dry Mustard

1 1/2C Maple Syrup (the real stuff, please)   1T Ground Coriander

1 T garlic, minced fine, or use fresh garlic paste

1C Ketchup or 1.5T Tomato Paste

Not pictured are the bacon, pork hocks, ketchup, and the various spices

These are our beans, you will want to soak them for at least 24 hours before cooking. Add the bay leaf and fennel seeds to the beans and submerge in the black tea. It is critical you don’t steep the tea too much because it will become bitter. After adding the tea to the beans and aromatics, add water to make sure the beans are covered by 3-4 inches because there will be a lot of expansion.

We’ll start by rendering the small dice bacon down over low heat until its crispy. Drain off all but a little of the fat after its done.

Now add the small dice onions, the garlic, and two pinches of salt and pepper just to flavor the onions. You can increase the heat by a hair to help reduce the onions down quicker. Keep the onions moving to cook them evenly and ensure the juices are evaporating.

Just like that.

Now add the small diced Granny Smiths and increase the heat to medium-low. Again, keep them moving so that the juices don’t collect and start simmering. You want this to be pretty dry aside from the residual bacon fat and onion moisture.

This is what you want. Soft apples, very little liquid.

Roast your pork hocks in the oven at 35-375 for 15-20 minutes. You want the edges to start getting crispy and the fat to start melting out of it. The tomato paste I put in the ingredients can be used here to spread on the hocks before they go in the oven. This is a classic technique used for making beef stock out of beef bones, adapted here for maximum flavor. This isn’t what I did here, because I didn’t think of it until after I started.

Now add the beans (drain the soaking liquid off first), the stock, the apple cider, apple cider vinegar, the ketchup (if you haven’t done the tomato paste method), maple syrup, dry mustard, coriander, and chipotle (minced). Do not add any salt yet because it will make the beans tough while they cook, the salt added to the onions is OK. This will cook for a long time. Keep on a low heat, just a hair’s breadth above the lowest flame or else it will burn because its so thick. This will go for 5+ hours until the beans are tender. Mine went for 4 hours, I cooled it overnight, and continued it the next day for another four hours. Cool it without a lid so that it cools down faster to prevent any sort of contamination. The smaller the container you can put it in (quart containers are perfect) will help chill the beans down faster. 

Done! Adjust the salt and pepper to your desired levels, and it’s your preference how tender you want the beans, so cook more or less to adjust.