— swallowed in the sea . . .

"Yeah, it really is beautiful," he returned, a hint of wonder in his voice. "It's amazing to think about all the people who have looked up at the stars and seen the same thing over the centuries. It really puts things into perspective, doesn't it?" He marveled at the thought of all the people who had seen it before him. From ancient civilizations who worshiped the stars, to modern astronomers who studied them, countless people had looked up at the sky and seen the same awe-inspiring sight. Finally stepping back, he directed his gaze back at Kelly. “It’s been a while since we saw each other. How’s it been going for you?” 

there was a moment where her eyes remained fixed on the sky and there was the absence of thought in her mind. she never worried much about zoning out around micah; he was understanding enough. not that she really cared about peoples' reactions to her mannerisms, but she did possess an awareness that others weren't always quite fond of her behaviors. when he stepped away from the telescope, kelly brought her focus back down to earth. shrugging, she made her way toward one of the loungers and settled in an upright position with a blanket covering her. "same old, still teaching the locals how to volley." kelly paused, looking down at her hands. she knew how to cover the truth of her wellbeing from people; it was second nature at this point. "i started taking ballet lessons. i'm not a natural by any means, but i'm enjoying it so far. what about you?" she looked toward micah, redirecting the conversation. in all actuality, kelly was a complete mess and she was becoming bored as she ran out of things to do. but she was determined to handle it on her own.

He glances at the screen, trying to decipher the movie she's talking about. His best efforts is useless, he can't seem to figure out what she's talking about. "I must be living under a rock," he admits laughing. "But what movie are you talking about?" He really needs to start making more time for his personal life, but it's hard to break free from the cycle of work, work, work.

leaning in a bit closer to zach, kelly decided to let him in on a secret, "the movie is a lot better if you're drinking." she turned her attention back to the screen. "basically, adam sandler plays this guy, bobby boucher. bobby boucher is a waterboy for this team and oddly obsessed with his mom, kathy bates." kelly paused for a moment to take a sip, inhaling before she continued, "anyway, yada yada yada, he's really good at football and starts playing for the underdog. there's also a lady named vicki vallencourt, and i think she's supposed to be the manic pixie dream girl." when she said it aloud, it didn't sound very important. "there is more to life than work," she assured him. "but work probably trumps the waterboy, in all fairness." kelly laid off a bit, throwing up her hands in mock defeat.

lottie wasn't really a stop and smell the roses kind of girl, but sometimes everything got so . . . loud. usually, she'd stifle the nagging little intrusive reminders of what a failure she turned out to be with a quick little tousle in silky hotel sheets or a long drink from a full bottle of tequila, something just numbing enough to get her to stop picking at the scab. today, though, today she was tossing pebbles into the ocean and watching them sink in the clear water until they disappeared into the murky depths during her break. "i really doubt it," lottie glanced at the women and then tossed another stone into the water. she looked familiar, but everyone did in kings haven. "unless you're also fighting your well documented self-destructive tendencies."

taking note of the pebbles, josephine found herself following the trail of one until she could no longer see it. it was perhaps a bit eerie. josie offered a small chuckle in an attempt to lighten the mood. looking at her company with a bit of shock, she responded, "funny enough, that's exactly what i'm doing." she looked back to the water with a bit more seriousness. "are the rocks a good choice of offense?" josephine inquired, nodding toward the pebbles. if they were going to be fighting their bad behaviors, she supposed some stones could have some value.

THESE DAYS, luciana hardly pays much attention to the dock. she frequents the site often enough, hops on and off the ferry at least twice a week, but she rarely sticks around to enjoy the scenery. during her teenage years, she'd sneak out of her grandparents' house to attend whatever boat party was going on at the time or to smoke ── a habit she's since kicked, except for the occasional cigarette whenever cravings strike or she's feeling the strain of stress. she may not be stressed per se, but there's a pack of marlboro gold in her purse just in case. feet absentmindedly drawing circles in the water, she doesn't notice anyone approaching until they're already sitting beside her. it's a voice she recognizes. ❝ maybe, ❞ she turns to look at the femme, lips stretching into a smile, ❝ unless you're thinking about skinny dipping. ❞ bumping her shoulder lightly against jo's, she adds, ❝ far be it from me to stop you, but i'm definitely not joining you. water's too cold for me. ❞

pulling the edges of her cardigan to wrap around her waist, josephine offered a teasing smile as her legs gently swung back and forth. "come on, live a little," she joked. it was funny seeing luciana in this setting. not that they weren't familiar with one another, but discussing delia owens over coffee was different than watching the sunset on a dock together. perhaps josephine wasn't super great at communicating with people outside of the boxes she put them in, she was in her own little world nowadays. connected yet so disconnected in some aspects. "now, this would be a nice place for a book club." josephine gestured outward, the familiar sound of geese honking in approval. "since you're not on the dock for skinny dipping, what brings you here, lu?"

BLACK SWAN 2010, dir. Darren Aronofsky

Anya Taylor-Joy | The Queen's Gambit (2020)

Tony Hoagland, Sweet Ruin

there was the obvious answer. the one they both knew but never said. the reason he went out at night and drank and pretended he was able to stop time. maybe she was spiraling too. but the fact of it was, they weren't spiraling into each other the way they used to. that didn't mean he wanted to see her cry. "look, hey, don't." diego reached out, setting his hands on her arms, squeezing lightly. "hey, you're not-- you're you, jo. that's never changed, yeah? smart, talented. good at all the things i'm not. you're the rock. you know that."

josephine couldn't help but feel a little bit of anger at his question. she shook her head and shot him a subtle glare. why wouldn't she want to change who she was, what she did? she felt unworthy. there was a familiarity in diego's touch that she almost leaned into. it was strange to know a touch so well from someone who she felt as though she didn't truly know anymore. she wished she could believe the words that diego was saying, but they went right over her head. josephine battled internally on whether diego was saying these things as a way to make her feel better, or as a way to avoid having to see her break down this way. still, though, it was considerate of him, so she nodded and remarked, "yeah, yeah... i know." josephine made it look as though she was more put together than she actually was; she wondered how that looked to someone who had known her for half of her life. "i just, diego, i feel like... like, i'm not good enough. not for myself, not for anyone else. i'm just this, this shell of a person. and i don't know what to do about it."

as soon as he spotted josephine, a smile appeared on his face. it was a good sign for him that she showed up. he had the determination to meet her weekly despite their busy schedules. he gently embraced her in his arms. “no, of course not,” eungi lied a bit. he’d been here for a while, yes, but he wasn’t bothered by it by any means. “now, do you want tea or coffee?” he asked, not really accepting ‘no’ for an answer. “it’s my treat,” he stated as he opened the door to the café for josephine.

their hug was warm and familiar, and josephine pulled away with a sigh of relief. she could tell by his voice that he may not have been entirely honest with her, but she let it go, anyway. laughing at his insistence, josephine dipped her head as a thanks as she walked in. "tea for me today. what about you, the usual?" she normally had coffee, but tea offered some feelings of relaxation for her, which is just what she needed right now. eungi's compassion for her was refreshing and consistently reminded her that there were good things in her life, good people. pausing for eungi, she gently teased him, "one day, you're going to have to let me pay." the smell of the bakery always put josie in good spirits, brought out her usually buried light hearted nature.

janie was easily influenced, both by her peers and her own whims, so she should really have the humane society and petfinder blocked for her own good. at least she had room for her shoe addiction in her hers and hers closets. "i know," she cooed, tracing her finger over the little grey marbled spot over her left eye, "she's my soulmate. people can have three soulmates, right? a soul is a complex, multifaceted thing." she would be cruelly denying destiny by leaving little miss 'maisy' unadopted, available for some unappreciative hooligan to take her home. "and i'm not just filling a void in my life with the love of another dog . . . right?"

kelly observed janie's endearment toward the photo, mirroring her smile. "i'd say people can have even more than three soulmates," she assured janie. the logical side of kelly did not believe in soulmates, even platonic ones, but the hopeless romantic in her fought against that belief with a ferocity. considering her question for a moment, kelly shook her head. she sometimes thought that janie acted impulsively, but impulsive decisions aren't always bad ones. "who cares if you are, anyway? it's a beautiful thing to cover the void. and i know you will give her lots of love." she paused for a minute, and thought once more about the positively adorable image on the screen. "and i will, too!" kelly added.

Zach hasn't been paying attention to the screen, his focus having been fixated on his phone for the past hour. There's been some new development in the world of cyber security that he finds far more compelling than what’s going on around him. He shifts his gaze to the woman seated next to him, offering a small smile in greeting. "Sorry, I've no idea what you're talking about. I've been working, I'm afraid," he admits, feeling foolish for not paying attention. "But I have heard drinking water is good for your health. Won’t kill us to drink better water?" It's a silly and asinine observation, but it's the best he can do in the moment. He's aware he’s not winning any points for charm, but he can't help it. When something piques his interest, it's all-consuming, and everything else falls by the wayside.

initially, kelly had been thinking aloud; however, when she caught on to his detached tone, she took offense. "what's so important that you're able to tune out the waterboy, one of adam sandler's most profitable projects?" kelly questions him with an accusatory tone, pointing rather obnoxiously at the screen. she was usually composed around strangers, but the alcohol in her system compromised what little filter she usually had while in conversation. her irritation fizzled quickly, replaced by quiet pondering regarding where exactly she could find better water.

diego scoffed at her. "sure. you. what, a month ago you thought a big night was staying in to watch that docuseries on netflix all night with take out. it was a whole event. i don't think people who have solo watch parties for documentaries really like going to bars." clubs. parties. trying to toe the line between drinking within his own age group and the younger crowd. going to hotel rooms with his-- well, what was the word for her? sugar baby? he didn't really offer money and half the appeal was that he was a warm body to her and he got to pretend he was young again without worrying about feelings.

diego's words were entirely accurate, in a way that hurt. josephine felt a great deal of shame regarding the habits and behaviors she had fallen into. she never wanted the boring housewife life, but it seemed easier than picking herself up and doing something more. "it was—" she began to defend herself, then stopped and took a breath. "i'm trying, okay?" it came out as more of a yell than she had intended, but she forced her tone down as she continued. "i'm trying to make changes, trying to get better. i'm trying to... i don't know, diego, be fun again. feel alive. i get it, i'm boring. you don't think i know that? but i'm trying!" there were tears forming from the frustration of trying to express what she was meaning to say; it was hard to put it into words.