The First Page

never kill yourself . your next apple could be so good it makes you feel like a horse

not to bitch about this every time i see it but i think you, Yes, You, should say something the next time you hear someone making fun of speech impediments, yes even if they're doing it to make fun of someone who sucks and who doesn't actually have that impediment. there is no reason on earth why you have to mock people with rhotacism in the process of making fun of elon musk, a man who literally does not even have said impediment

shitty male doms do enough embarrassing and misogynistic unsolicited chicanery for you to be able to make fun of them without launching into the "hewwo pwincess" thing, it's unfunny and moreover it's just aimlessly cruel to people who have done nothing wrong

godddd this guy sucks so much it's like he's part of a group of people i deem genetically inferior and undeserving of unmocked existence in public 😂 no bro it's not ableism it's just, like, wouldn't it be funny if he had difficulty with a part of daily life like speech, thus rendering him worth less than other human beings 😂🤣

does anyone who uses a cane and gets sweaty hands have any tips/recs or links for grips or anything? have been occasionally taking spills i otherwise wouldn't bc the heat makes my palms sweaty and my grip slips lol

okay. breathe. listen to my voice. can you tell me five things in this room you can fuck?

okay great. now list me four things in this room you can kill.

beautiful. there you go. okay. now: tell me three things you can impose unjust taxes on.

almost done. can you list two things you could shove in a pipe and smoke?

im glad that my extended family seem to be vaguely aware that im nonbinary but it makes christmas funny because most of my aunts have a very simply formula of "the girls get perfume and the boys get cologne" . and they seem to have realised they cant really do that for me, but havent come up with a consistent genderless solution yet. so each year is a delightful surprise. plain unbranded soap. those gloves with touch screen fingerpads. one year i got TWO different puzzle books. its a fascinating look into the minds of cis people and i appreciate it so much.

image description: a venn diagram with circles labeled 'girls' and 'boys'. the girls circle has perfume and makeup. the boys circle has cologne and shaving stuff. the overlap has a puzzle book labeled '????????? fuck it' /end description

he’s such a good boy, so long as he’s allowed to bounce off the walls of his zoo enclosure like a lemur. but when it’s raining, or too hot or cold for outdoor time? and this energy comes inside? that’s when things become….. challenging.