just old enough this is embarrassing

ren huffed with enough force to make her bangs rise and fall in front of her eyes. as usual, theo was missing the point, and, as usual, ren couldn't find a way to explain herself in a comprehensible way. there must be a planet where people only spoke in half-sentences and hidden meanings and only wore plaid and argyle sweaters. "because i want them to figure out who actually killed her instead of wasting their time on you. you didn't care about her enough to kill her; we both know that."

he ran both hands through his hair and then seemed to get stuck again, that little imaginary train trying to pull into the station of the point without any more issues. "you think i know who would have cared about her enough to kill her?"

he crossed his arms over his chest. "do you want me to call the cops?"

she shook her head at his carrying on, entertainment clear on her features. ❝ you think you’re getting a minion out this ? ❞ her eyebrow raised in theo’s direction. ❝ please. a little cash under my belt and i’d be unstoppable. would make you my minion before you even realised what was happening, reyes. ❞

theo held a hand over his heart, "come on, you're not even going to let me pretend we're partners, but you're the brain and i'm the pinky. then i can at least pretend i'm getting half the credit for the schemes. i'll really be way more invested that way."

jack didn't know what he expected, walking through the area so late at night. he just needed to clear the cotton in his mind and no number of cigarettes was doing it. he couldn't have said the thing he thought he'd see was a door hanging open, one hinge broken, and a set of muddy boot prints. he should probably just call the cops, but his own inability to leave well enough alone had him walking in. "shit-- looks like someone beat me to it, kid. you need a new deadbolt."

"i know that you're grossly overpaid," chasen hummed with a little grin that was specially reserved for making theo irritated. the most 'brotherly' they'd ever been was when they were bickering. had bruce not scooped him up from the group home like some sort of turtle-necked daddy warbucks, the only interaction chasen ever would've had with theo would be him picking his pocket or jacking his tires—so, in chasen's mind, this was them getting along. "relax, i'm not the one with a torrid romantic past. i just need a solid excuse for ditching a job interview bruce set up for me." without asking, because that was, of course, bruce's way.

alright so torrid wasn't exactly a high score word, but still, it was just annoying. "fine. whatever. i'll tell him you were at my office cleaning up little boxes, he'll for sure believe me." the worst part was that he probably would believe chasen was cleaning up after animals.

but theo was right, now that hope was dead there was no reason to keep this thing going on for longer than they had to. whatever this was only started as a sick and twisted way for maya to get back at hope. she didn’t even like theo like that, but hearing him call their arrangement off still felt like a stab in her stomach. even in death, hope still somehow wins. “but yeah, i guess there’s no point in continuing this now that hope is dead.” 

"look, we came all the way out here," theo let the sentence hang, hoping she'd catch his drift. there was no reason to waste a room just because they agreed it wouldn't happen after this. "we both need to relax, blow off some steam, destress about this whole thing." his hands came up to her arms, sliding down slowly to her elbows, stepping closer to her with a suggestive gleam in his eye.

“right,” she dragged out the word as she watched the attorney carefully, wondering how he’d fare up against the big expensive lawyers that she was sure that the mercers’ had on retainer, “you sure chose one hell of a case to take on.” she hummed in agreement. mercer hollow chronicle was maybe one of the worst things to have come from the case. it was just a bunch of people who have clearly watched far too many episodes of true detective that they suddenly seem to know everything that there was to know about solving murders. “people love gossip and that’s basically what the podcast is ⎯ theories and gossip. and that is unfortunately prime entertainment,” she shrugged, “so in your experience, how do these cases normally end?” maya couldn’t imagine that they ever ended well with a nice little ending packaged up neatly with a bow like it did in the shows and movies. 

jack pulled his hands from his pockets and rubbed at his chin, thinking. "in a small town like this? if they haven't found out who did it already, it might be a long shot to get any decent clues. it'll take some big breakthrough, some jerk finding a weapon or a missing phone under some leaves everyone has walked past a hundred times. a good cop making the case personal and working overtime to get past the barrier of people protecting each other. it's an open and closed in a few weeks, or its going to go cold like charity mercer's case. probably not what you want to hear."

" i don't want it to be years in the making, i want it to be over. " she mumbled, wishing that the process was easier, quicker, less of a whodunnit for clueless shits not even at all involved in what happened, but unfortunately it wasn't. " humor me. do you think whoever did it will be caught ? "

jack sighed, leaning his hip on the pool table and crossing his arms over his chest as well, mimicking her stance. "sorry for your loss, really. but with a case like this? unless the police are keeping their lips shut tight on a strong lead, they don't have what they need to put anyone away yet and with the evidence all outdoors, it's going to get less likely every day. same thing happened years ago with charity mercer, last murder in this town from the 70s. no evidence turned up fast enough, case is still cold." he'd gone digging into it hoping for something to come up that might show how the cops were going to handle this.

lori was definitely no amateur sleuth, but she refused to leave theo alone in this, especially now that they had both been named and shamed by the podcast, they both had something to prove now, and she couldn't bring herself to feel frightened when she was around the boy who'd never made her feel anything but safe before. " of course. i wouldn't dream of missing out. " she was certain that most people would worry if they were caught together ; the boyfriend and the best friend returning to the scene of the crime, it practically wrote itself, but lorelai deserved to prove her innocence as much as theo did, and she wanted to help him.

"we can take my car, drive up to the bonfire site, and look around there." he fidgeted with the sleeve of his coat, rubbing the button between two fingers. "we could... go now? look, people are going to be here for a long time, just talking. i don't think anyone would notice if we did. they'd just think we were off being in mourning or whatever, right? and they're just going to be lying about how much they knew her anyway so they won't want to talk to us."

" you're still thinking about the sex thing ? jesus, man. if i knew it was going to live rent free in your head, i would've done it out of pity. " he replied out of jest, nudging jack gently with a grin plastered across his face. " i do exactly that: get piss drunk and do something stupid at a bar. it's great fun. " he leaned back against the sofa, hues fixating on the ceiling. his boredom was palpable, and the idea of an adventurous night, whether it'd be out or at home, appealed to him. " we could get coke. i'd be able to pay attention if i do some. "

jack stood up, smacking javi in the shoulder to encourage him to get up as well. he pushed aside a fat white binder and a filer labeled 'mercer' under the coffee table to both get it out of the way and distract them both from it. "come on, i'll drive."

ren folded her arms across her chest and shrugged her shoulders slightly, "i never said you didn't have feelings for each other; i said you didn't really love each other, and that's just an indisputable fact, but i'd go with 'dating for show' over 'hated each other more often than not' when the cops ask." it was a weak deflection, but ren wondered if people ever called theo out on his shit. no one ever had with hope. "nope, but thankfully who i'm currently sleeping with isn't under investigation."

"and you're just going to offer it up to the cops or are you going to wait for them to ask, at least?" theo felt a muscle twitch in his jaw. ren had this... threatening presence. hope made people feel intimidated, sure, but he didn't know why he didn't expect it for ren. he had hoped ren would be softer, less cruel. more sympathetic to him. "look, i don't know what you think of me. but i had a real relationship with hope, and i wanted to keep it. we had plans. her getting murdered fucks up all our plans. and i liked those. so even if we weren't starry-eyed like you want, i don't have a motive to hurt her. you famously hate her. why do you even care what our relationship was like?"

javi had a hard time enduring moments of stillness. whether it was due to his perpetually busy lifestyle or his adhd, the notion of being stagnant triggered a wave of anxiety within him. " don't you get bored just staying in ? " he asked, his restlessness evident in his tone. " i'm not trying to be difficult, honestly, but i don't think i can make it through this movie sober. " it wasn't his intention to dampen the mood or hurt anyone's feelings, but his mind had been wondering for the past half hour, and the screen before him continued to blur into insignificance. " can we do something fun ? "

he let out a long exhale and tipped his head back. "well, you won't have sex with me, you don't like the movie, and i don't keep anything worth drinking in this place. so we should go out. what do you normally do for fun in a town this small, huh? everyone remembers when you get piss drunk and do something stupid at a bar."

chasen didn’t make asking for favors a habit. the last thing he needed was to be in debt to someone in a town so small it didn't have an expressway to get the hell out of dodge—but some emergencies couldn’t be avoided. “if anyone asks,” he glanced over his shoulder, instinctively, and pursed his lips like he was about to get a root canal. “i was in your office discussing...business?" his nose scrunched as he contemplated the plausibility this impromptu scenario before continuing, "all day. got it?”  

he did put his phone down, though, looking up at chasen from his spot sitting in a chair. "i can't cover for you doing like, illegal shit right now."

"So, do you know anyone here, or you just paying your respects?"

"hoping to see if anyone acts off. make myself known in town. offer services if you decide to arrest someone on the spot. see if something dramatic happens with screaming matches or sobbing friends. wouldn't do to just not be here for an event the whole damn town is at. even if i hate it."

maeve raised an eyebrow at theo's counter theory. ❝ you think a couple gets murdered and the first connection they're gonna make it that you're both rich ? i'll just make sure number two is a poor person. bam. pattern broken. ❞ paired with the charade of dropping the mic. ❝ besides, even if i did snap on fox, female serial killers are seriously lacking. people would love me the way bundy and dahmer got all those love letters back in their day. i'd be iconic. you going down for an oh - so typical girlfriend slashing ? just another statistic. ❞

theo never got into serial killer trivia specifically. he got into long lists of fantasy lore and old mythology. heroes and kings and champions. not much on guys who ate dead people or kept limbs in their fridge. "a face like mine? i'd be a famous statistic, i'd at least make it on evening news across the country with the story. you'd be lucky if you ever got caught, no one would give you credit for your crime. a female serial killer would never make it on their radar. they'd arrest half the town before they got to you." his chest ached with the stress that they might be overheard but it couldn't seem to put enough pressure on him to overcome the way his shoulders untensed for the first time in days.

pinecones with googly eyes. ❝ fuck, you're even gonna come up with my scheme for me ? ❞ hand over her chest in dramatized flattery. ❝ i can't lose now. i'll either get rich or be able to use you as scapegoat for leading me down a very dark path. i'll blame the entire fall from grace on you, reyes. ❞ though, truthfully, maeve couldn't even remember when grace was.

when theo looked back at her, he seemed to perk up. worrying less about the audience of people waiting for another performance. "how could the path of wealth be the path of evil? that like, never happens. everyone loves the rich. famously. i'm not trying to get new minions or anything."