The Insane Crayon Box

Simon is from a bad future (or alternate universe). also called the Convict, and the Butcher. is martian, is a prisoner (for what crime, no idea), has a tree based religion since natural plants are rare/extinct. was mutated by the Eel at the end of the movie (also lost an arm at some point, but also sometimes gets better??), and left to die in the void of space

Grace was kidnapped by the government to get sent into space, because despite being a high school (maybe college?) science teacher, he's the only man smart enough to figure out how to stop the stars from dying out. he has amnesia so he forgot he was kidnapped? he also might've seen shot into space with other people?? (his first name is also stupid but we ignore that)

Grace succeeds at saving the universe with the help of an alien rock in a nigh-unbreakable hamster ball named Rocky who sings instead of talks. (not sure if the humans knew about the Eridians before sending Grace into space or not). also Grace is going to go live with Rocky on his home planet that is 3 years away from when the movie ends, instead of going back to Earth

there is a chance that the stars dying in PHM is (or is related to) the Quiet Rapture in Iron Lung (either the same event (thus time travel) or the alternate reality equivalent)

usually Grace finds Simon (thus the abundant "saving grace" puns and angelic comparisons) and shenanigans ensue on the Hail Mary before they live together on Rocky's planet as his pets more or less

Colt Seavers from The Fall Guy is sometimes Grace's twin brother (because same actor) and sometimes gets kidnapped with him because people confused them (haven't seen The Fall Guy either)

Dave Torres from The Edge of Sleep is used as "healed/saved Simon" in fan edits. he is also either alternate reality Simon, or his ancestor if time travel. this also makes the Elephant somehow related to the Eel? and the dying in sleep thing also related to the Quiet Rapture?? (i have seen this though)

BloodyMary dolls anyone? we already have Ryan Gosling face sculpts, but the only Ken sculpts i can off the top of my head think of for Mark is the HBV27 or FXL62 and neither really are right...

after watching Iron Lung: (same day as post)

ok so this is a movie i never would've watched on my own without prompting. i liked it, it's good, but it's not my normal style or setup and if it hadn't been for Mark, i probably would never have given this a second look if i saw it scrolling. (and TBF Edge of Sleep is the same way for me) again, i still enjoyed it, would watch again...but maybe in a while

i now know why Simon was in prison, and sorta why he's called Butcher. Tree religion is slightly more of a faction, and more about the idealization of hope...not a whole lot was explained about the space colonization or how humans are as a society now

didn't place anything on any sort of timeline as far as i could tell

is Simon being Martian not real?? where did that come from??

i do love how it was his left arm, the wrist with the Eden pendant on it, that was lost. his final sacrifice of the hope he had for his own future, a hope he had seemed to have lost only to fight to reignite it, being given up for a sliver of hope for others. good stuff.

after watching Project Hail Mary: (next day from start of post)

omr i loved this movie. it was so cute. the scoring was great. the tension was great. the pacing was great, and i liked the fractured timeline. again, i probably would never have watched this on my own unprompted because from the looks of it it's not my usual cup of tea, but i am so happy i watched it.

so Grace was kidnapped, but it wasn't random. and he's a middle school teacher because he got kicked out of scientist club for thinking outside the box. also not sent into space alone, but of course still ends up alone until he meets his new space best friend

Rocky is a cat, and it took me forever to realize that Adrian was because of the Rocky movies lol

this movie was 2 and half hours long??? it totally didn't feel it

i really enjoyed this movie way more than i expected to

BloodyMary over all after both movies:

i totally see the "different sides of the same coin" thing everyone says about these two movies

both being men sent alone into the vast unknown against their will by women of nearly the same name (Eva PHM/Ava IL) to search for a way to save the universe even though it will cost them their lives. both having had something to believe in that failed them, but in the end realizing that they were still good men, finding the faith and inner courage they thought they lacked, and gave up what chance they had for their former lives to send out a lone beacon back to those that sent them away, with knowledge and hope. also, each having had their lives touched and forever altered by a non-human space entity.

also yes of course everyone should give Simon to Grace and not vise versa; PHM's ending was so hopeful and the movie so warm and fuzzy, Simon deserves some happy!!

my "Simon's from the future" and "the astrophage is the cause of the QR" still works i think...i may have been entertaining a story, maybe not...