The InkGuild

Now I believe she's dead, yes.

The lesson here is that your main characters can be as special, overpowered, and unrealistically skilled at everything as you want, as long as this has the purpose of driving the plot via all the problems they cause (because they're an egotistical nightmare and a gigantic raging asshole).

Hi my name is Gilgamesh Hammurabi Ziusudra Euphrates Ishtar and I have the same heroic build as my lordly ancestors (that's how I got my name) with bulging muscles and chiselled features moulded by the goddess Aruru, and icy blue eyes like the limpid waters of the Great Flood, and a lot of people tell me I look King Enmebaragesi of Kish (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da Kur out of here!). I’m not related to Ishtar but I wish I was because she’s a major fucking hottie. I'm a demi-god but I'm not immortal. I possess extraordinary strength. I'm also a king and I rule a city called Urduk, where I force my subjects to erect lots of ziggurats (I'm known for my cruelty). I’m a Sumerian (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly animal skins. I love the forbidden Cedar Forest and I slay and skin all my beasts from there. For example today I was wearing a skin made from the Bull of Heaven with a matching sheep hide skirt, gold armlets, a carnelian headband, and black combat sandals. I was wearing black kohl eyeliner to ward off conjunctivitis. I was walking outside the twin peaks of Mount Mashu at the end of the earth. I came across a tunnel which no man before me had ever entered, which I was very happy about. Two guards that were giant scorpion monsters stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

This is objectively genius writing but the size of the audience that can properly recognize its brilliance is so small

I'm just glad to be part of it

why do people in dnd each occupy a 5ft by 5ft square, how far apart do you think people need to be? why are dnd minis afraid of touching

dnd minis standing five feet apart in a dungeon cuz they’re not gay

look, if the guy to my left has to do the turbo-macarena while charging a bolt of flesh melting while the guy on my right is doing every bruce lee move at the same time and the guy in front of me is flourishing a broadaxe like hes doing yo-yo tricks im going to give each of them enough floorspace to not liquefy myself

So glad that non-scouts can appreciate the term blood circle properly.

Petition to replace “threatened area” with “blood circle” in 5e and Pathfinder 2e

“There’s a cure?!” asked the girl that kills everything she touches.  “Hey shut up we’re perf” replied the girl that makes clouds. 

For real though. Storm has stopped an entire tsunami before. “Makes clouds my ass” she can conjure lightning and tornadoes and is revered as a god in her tribe. She literally changes atmospheric pressure and that’s how she flies. So fuck you. Storm is flawless.

I think you missed the part where the GIRL WHO KILLS EVERYTHING SHE TOUCHES wants to NOT KILL EVERYTHING SHE TOUCHES and everyone dismisses her incredible misfortune just because the lady who is the AVATAR OF THE STORM won the fucking SUPERPOWER LOTTERY

The last comment literally always cracks me up

The X-Men are an extremely good metaphor for oppressed minorities until they are suddenly an extremely terrible metaphor for oppressed minorities.

The scale on which the first reply misses the point literally never ceases to awe me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. This is exactly what bothers me about purely social analyses of disability.

I need Ghibli therapy where some utter magic nonsense happens to me and it’s all very weird but there’s some nice people and when it’s over I come out of it a more complete person

cosmo wanda i wish every time i’m forced to see an unskippable ad or a popup the ceo and stockholders of the company for that ad felt a hammer impacting one of their joints with a severity that increased every single time i saw one of them

You've heard of "divine comedy is fan fiction" now get ready for "all storytelling is fan fiction I don't care anymore"