child of the theoi

are there any scholarly resources about the geography of the underworld? the wiki page is very interesting, but i wanna learn more detail about it

bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

reblog to let people know it's ok to bother you with questions and statements

"Hi?" Ari looks up, a little hopeful and a lot nervous when Steve opens the door. She gives an awkward little wave, and then, softer, "Can- can I come in?" They try to peer over Steve's shoulder to get a peek into his new apartment, but also so they're not overwhelmed by his expression.

"Yeah... yeah come in." Steve steps back into his apartment, eyes stuck on Ari, refusing to look away, like she'll disappear if he does. "Ari... you're back, are you okay?!" He surges forward, hands hovering over her, worried to actually touch her. But oh- he needs to know she's okay- it'd been so long.

"Thank you." Ari tries to keep her voice steady, but it still cracks when she steps into Steve's apartment, looking around the room. They bite their lip, they refuse to cry, not now, but they can't help shaking their head a little when he asks if she's okay. "I- I'm back, is what I am," they answer, her own hands moving to want to hug Steve.

Steve doesn't hesitate, he pulls Ari into a hug, firmly wrapping his arms around her, one hand buried in her hair. "Hey, hey... I'm here... you're safe." Tears pour down Steve's face as he holds her, he hates, hates that she left... that he couldn't find her. "I'm here."

Ari collapses into the hug, and she can't stop all her tears from falling, try as she might. "I'm- I'm so sorry, Stevie," they gasp out, pressed close against his chest. "I'm so fuckin' sorry." Her accents stronger than when she left, like they'd put it on as an attempt to remember their home.

Steve lowers them to the ground, fully pulling Ari against him. His heart aches, hates how everyone made her feel like she had to leave... the pain she's gone through. "I know, I know... I forgive you. I'm here Ari, breathe... it's gonna be alright, I promise." He cries as he gently rocks her in his arms. She's home- She's safe now. He's never letting her go again.

Ari sucks in a few heaving breathes, she feels like she's gonna damn collapse from guilt. How could she leave Steve alone? They can't stand to hear him crying. "I should never have left," they apologise again, "I'm so sorry I left you, Steve-"

"Hey, I know... shhh, I know, you don't have to keep apologizing." Steve quickly blinks his tears away, shifting Ari up so he can look at her, gently pushing their hair out of their face. "You're alright, I'm here... I'm just, I'm so worried about you, Ari." He looks her over, worried filled eyes. "Where did you go?" He whispers shakily.

Ari shakes her head, clearly not believing that at all. But they lean into Steve's hand anyway, it'd been so long since she'd been touched gently, with no other intentions. "Please don't worry," they say, though she secretly wants the concern. They sigh, picking a little at their hands. "A couple places. Ch-Chicago for a while. Um. Jersey. Few, hm, few years in Italy." Her voice breaks on years.

"I will always worry about my Aribear." Steve mumbles softly, he quickly catches her hands, not wanting her to hurt herself. "Oh Ari..." He pulls her back into his arms, he can't imagine those years were kind to her. He holds back a sob, he couldn't protect his Ari...

Ari softens visibly at that, but she shakes her head anyway, "Don't, I- I'm the one who left, Ve. I abandoned you, I..." She still can't believe she'd done it. Left without a trace. But they collapse in his arms anyway.

"Hey, no... stop, stop it please. I don't blame you, Ari... you did what you thought was best, I don't blame you. It's alright... you're home now, and we're gonna figure it out." Steve sniffs and holds her closer, gently rubbing Ari's back, he's so mad at himself for not finding her... helping her more.

"Home now..." Ari whispers, like the idea is foreign. It felt so good, just walking back into New York, where she'd grown up. Tracking Steve down had been easy. They swallow awkwardly and mutter, "I-. Shit. I don't suppose I could crash here for a couple days- weeks, maybe, while my place gets set up?"

Oh Ari, you can crash here as long as you need. I'm going to take care of you, okay?" Steve sits up and gently cups her face, just looking at her, his Ari... he's always considered them his child, to know they were hurt so badly... whatever happened while they were away, it breaks his heart.

Ari sighs, visibly relieved. "Thank you. I- yeah. Thank you." They flinch, just a little, when he cups their face, before smoothing over their expression and softening into the touch. Steve is safe, she reminders herself. Always. God. It's like coming to the Tower for the first time again.

The flinch absolutely destroys Steve. What had happened while she was gone? He swears... whoever hurt his Ari will pay, but fot now... he needs to focus on Ari, help her heal. He's so, so incredibly glad to have her back. "Come on, let's move to the couch." He gently helps Ari to her feet, moving her over to the couch as he tries to control his emotions.

"Sorry," Ari mutters, shoving her hands into the pockets of her pants. They follow Steve over to the couch, settling across from him and tucking their legs close to their body. She watches his face carefully, then asks, "You okay? I can't... these last few years cant've been easy for ya."

Steve leans back, watching her carefully. Looking for any signs she's physically hurt. "I'm alright Ari... it wasn't easy no, but I'm alright." He wasn't alright- but he's not about to tell Ari that. He gives her a warm smile and reaches out to take her hand. "It's alright."

Ari recognises that look and shakes her head, a silent 'I'm not injured.' The silent 'now' rings heavy. But she nods along to Steve's words, "Right, of course. I'm-" They cut themself off before they can apologise again, instead leaning back to res their head on the sofa.

Steve blinks back his tears and shifts closer, slowly wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Hey... what about you? What's going on with my Ari?" His voice is incredibly soft as he gently rubs her shoulder with his thumb. He wants to know- What's to know what happened to her. Oh how Steve wishes he could've stopped this all from happening. He has to fight to keep his tears back. Ari's home, she's safe.

Ari looks away, tears of her own pricking at her eyes when he asks that question. God, the care in her voice, the gentle touch around her shoulders... they can't stop leaning into him. "I..." She shakes her head, unsure what to say. "It was a lot. Got back yesterday. Broke up with my boyfriend a week ago and flew back her- home."

Steve lets Ari lean into him, pulling her even closer to her side. Boyfriend... he doesn't like the sound of that, he can't imagine he was a good guy. "Not a good man?" He asks gently, thumb never stopping stroking her shoulder. "Oh Ari, I'm so sorry... I'm so proud of you for coming home." He presses a shaky kiss to the top of her head, tears dripping down his cheeks that he can't stop from falling. He couldn't save her..

Ari pulls a lighter out of her pocket, idly fiddling with it as she leans against Steve. They shake their head at his question, looking down and speaking quietly. "No. No, not a good man." She swallows back tears as they look up at Steve. They can feel his tears hitting their hair, and it makes guilt compound in their chest. "I missed you, Steve," Ari admits quietly.

Steve's eyes flick to the lighter and oh... he doesn't like seeing that. "I'm so sorry." Steve whispers, pulling Ari fully into his arms, holding her firmly like he's never going to let go again, he quickly blinks his tears away, not wanting her to feel anymore guilt then they already do. "I missed you too, Ari." Steve whispers harshly, his grip tightening around her.

Ari shakes her head a little. "It's alright. Lotta it is pretty fuzzy anyway." She tries to sound light and joking, but isn't convinced it works. She moves closer to Steve, desperate to hold him after being away from him for such a long time. "I'm never leavin' again. I swear, Stevie, never again."

That makes his heart break even more. What had happened to Ari...? Steve shakes his head and holds onto her, fingers digging in. He is never, ever letting her go again. "I know, I know you won't... I won't let you. I won't let this happen again Ari, I promise. I love you so much." He cries and starts rocking them both, the emotions overflowing.

Ari gives a weak shrug, then sighs softly. "I love you too," they whisper, and god, it feels good to say those words to Steve after so long. "i love you," she repeats and then adds, "I didn't think I'd manage to stay hidden, to be honest."

Steve shakes his head, kissing the top of hers. "I didn't either... I looked for you..." He sniffs and leans back to brush her hair out of her face. "But you're home now, we can work through this. I promise I'm here for you." He cups her cheek, tears pricking at his eyes. He loves her so much... she's his child.

"I know you did. Please don't feel guilty... I spent a lotta money makin' sure I wasn't found." She sighs, guilt flashing over her face. "I..." I don't deserve the comfort, she doesn't say, hugging Steve closer instead. "I don't suppose you have any booze here?"

Steve doesn't even know what to say to that, it just breaks his heart more, so he hugs her closer pouring all of his love into it. He pauses and shakes his head. "I do... but I don't think you should drink this away." He carefully looks down at her, concern in his eyes.

Ari's eyes fill with tears, which she quickly tries to blink away, hiding her head in Steve's shoulder. "I need somethin'," they plead, thumbing at their lighter again, like it's second nature at this point. How often had she used that?

"I'm not going to give you something that's going to hurt you." Steve looks to the lighter and his heart utterly breaks. How many times has she used it? He hates to think of what she's done to herself. "I'm here, focus on me Ari." He gently rubs her back, blinking away his own tears.

"Fine," Ari answers, voice just that little bit tighter to make it clear she's not thrilled by the answer. They glance at the lighter, sigh, and shove it back in their pocket. There's a half smoked pack of cigarettes in there, though Steve wouldn't know that. She can hear him, the slight waver in his voice, and hates it, but she looks up at him with watery eyes anyway. "You shouldn't be comfortin' me."

"Ari, don't say that, of course I should be comforting you... you need it, you went through something traumatic." Steve pulls them closer, tucking Ari closer to his chest, he hates that Ari thinks she's unworthy of comfort. "I here for you Ari." He sniffs and quickly brushes his tears away. "You deserve to be comforted."

"I left you, Steve," Ari counters, but she doesn't pull away. "You should be furious." Her voice is filled with guilt, and yeah, probably some loathing too. "You're the one who need comfortin'," they point out at the sound of his tears..

"No, none of that. Yes you left me, and I have missed you every day, worried about where my Ari was, but I am not furious at you. I am just so, so incredibly happy you're home, that I can hold you again." Steve pulls her even closer, tucking her under his chin, arms wrapped tight. "It's comforting me to be able to hold you again."

Ari can't stop the tears from falling when Steve says that, though she tries to stop them overwhelming them. "I- I missed you too," they whisper, pressed against his chest. "I- I didn't want to be gone so long I just got... stuck."

Steve runs his hand gently through her hair. "Sometimes we get like that, especially when we have no one to pull us out." He presses a soft kiss to the top of her head. He's blinks his tears away, just holding her, needing to know she's here.

Ari looks away for a moment, lost in memories. "Yeah. Specially if someone wants you to stay," they whisper, before leaning back into Steve and resisting the urge to apologise again.

"Your boyfriend?" Steve asks gently, oh if he finds that man... he shakes his head slightly and gives Ari a firm squeeze. He kisses the top of her head again. "When's the last time you ate, Aribear?"

"Mmhm," Ari hums in affirmation, then adds, "Snuck out in the middle of the night and booked a flight back home." Then, she considers, frowning at the question. "Mm. Yesterday?"

"I'm glad your home." He sits up a bit, giving her a concerned look. "I'm going to get you something to eat." He slowly gets up, moving into the kitchen.

"So am I." Ari pulls away, hugging her knees in place of Steve. Considering she's 22 now and he hasn't seen her since she was seventeen, they manage to look almost like a child. "That'd- that'd be nice. Will you catch me up on your life?"

Steve feels broken when he sees her tucked up, it brings his mind back to the first few years of her in the tower... he never wanted to see Ari so broken again. He quickly shakes his head and starts putting together a few simple sandwiches. His life? He can't exactly tell her everything... not when he's been doing so poorly. "Not much has changed... moved back here to Brooklyn."

Ari watches Steve assemble the sandwiches carefully, looking away and nodding as he describes his life. "It's nice. Seein' you back in your home town," they murmur, though they're a little stung the team doesn't live together anymore. She can tell he's holding back, but she doesnt' really have the right to push, so instead, she looks down and quietly asks, "Do you still miss Dad?"

"It's nice to be home." Steve mumbles before he walks over with the two plates, he hands one to Ari before sitting beside her with his own. He pauses, Tony... he has to blink away his tears quickly, hands trembling as he takes a small bite of his food, talking about Tony... it hurts him in a way he can't explain, a soul crushing pain. "I do... I miss him so much still." He slides his plate to the side and looks over at Ari with worried eyes. "I know you don't too." He slowly opens his arms out to her again.

Ari takes the food, but makes no move to actually eat any of it. They pick at the crusts of the bread instead. She blinks away tears when Steve talks about Tony, even in such vague phrases. They nod quickly, wiping their eyes with the heel of their hand. "I do. I miss him every day, Ve.."

Steve nods and carefully wraps his arm around her shoulders. "I know... I'm so sorry. So sorry Aribear." He sniffs and pulls her fully into his arms, needing to feel that she's really there. "I'm here, I'm here for you Ari, I promise..."

"I know you've no reason to believe me, but 'm here for you too," Ari mumbles, happy to soften back into Steve's arms, take in his gentle touch from this man who was essentially a second father. "I hate this," she admits as a few tears fall.

"I'm sorry." Steve whispers, gently rubbing his back. Oh how he wishes he could take all her pain away. "I am here to support you through this Ari, whatever pains lay ahead for you, I am here. I promise." He presses a shaky kiss to the top of her head, rocking them gently in his arms.

"I know you are." Ari let's Steve rock her back and forth like when they were a kid. God, they'd missed him. Not in the way she missed Tony, but missed him nonetheless. "Are you gonna be annoyed if I have a smoke?" They ask lowly after a while.

Steve pauses and glances down at them. He's very much not okay with the fact they smoke but... he can't really blame them, even he had picked up his old smoking habit, a habit he hadn't done sense before the ice. "It's not my favorite no... but... alright, if I get to smoke with you."

Ari considers, then shrugs. "Why not?" They pull the pack out and flip out two cigarettes, handing one to Steve and lighting her own like it's second nature. It is, at this point. Admittedly, not always cigarettes, but well... Ari doesn't imagine Steve would want to know that. So they take a drag in silence.

"I'm not exactly happy you're smoking." Steve frowns, hating how normal it seems for Ari to be doing. He takes one of the cigarettes and lights it, taking a small drag, his eyes stay locked on Ari, full of concern. What happened...

"I know." It's the first thing they haven't apologised for. They take another drag, flip the cig in their fingers. "It's a nasty habit, but..." They shrug. "Better than the alternative, I think."

Steve takes another drag, brow furrowing even more at that. "It is... I thought I quit after the ice but..." He shakes his head then his frown deepens. "Ari... what else have you done?" His tone is worried but also incredibly gentle.

"But here we are," Ari finishes for him. She takes a long drag and tilts her head back, watching the smoke drift off towards the ceiling as they exhale. They're visibily more relaxed now. "Relax, Stevie. 'M not goin' around doin' hard drugs. Just drinkin' and getting high. Hence the, ah, memory haze."

Steve's not sure he likes that they seem more relaxed. He blows the smoke out slowly, that makes his heart ache, he hates to think of all they went through, once again he has to hide his tears. "That's not... great, I'm sorry Ari..." He pauses then pulls them into his arms again, smushing her close to his chest. "I'm here... I love you so much, I'm goin' to help you every way I can, okay?" His brooklyn accent comes out thick as he gets emotional.

Ari looks down at the half finished cigarette and takes a drag before stamping it out. She lets Steve pull her into his arms, clutching him in a way that suggests they're not ad relaxed as they seem. "Love you too, Stevie," they murmur, voice thick and accent thickening to match Steve's. "'M not like, an addict or anythin'. Just an easy way to shut all... this off." They gesture vaguely at their head and don't mention their ex again.

Steve holds her back just as tightly, swearing silently he will never let her go again. Regretting he couldn't find them. "Okay... I understand why you would do it, but... I can't let you keep doing that, hurting yourself, I can't let you hurt yourself anymore Aribear." He cups their cheek and gently tilts her head up to look into her eyes. "I love you, I won't let you destroy yourself anymore, and I am here for you, for everything." He presses a shaky kiss to the top of her head, a few tears slipping down his cheeks.

Ari lets Steve hold her, lets herself, perhaps selfishly, steal that comfort from him. "'S not hurtin' myself," they protest, though obviously they know smoking isn't great for their health. She isn't sure why she bothers protesting, and the argument dies in their mouth when they see Steve's tear stained cheeks. "Please dont' cry, Ve... don't want to hurt ya."

"Well talk about it when you've been home a few days." Steve whispers, heart feeling broken. He never wanted this for Ari, never wanted to see her go down this path. He shakes his head quickly, reaching up to wipe the tears with one hand, the other staying firmly wrapped around Ari, refusing to let go. "Hey... you haven't hurt me, I'm just... it's a lot to take in, I don't want my Ari to be hurt." He sniffs and drops his hand down to tuck her hair behind her ear, remembering doing it for the first time when she was just a kid.

"Fine." Ari looks away, but doesn't move away from Steve at all. They can't bare the thought of beign away from him, not now, after finally getting back to him. She sighs, looking down at her hands and tangling them together. "Your Ari made a long series of real stupid decisions," they tell him, leaning into his hand. "It's almost impressive."

"And that's alright, we all make mistakes Ari. And you... you were grieving, you had so much attention on you... I don't blame you one bit for leaving, for making mistakes, even if I wish you had told me where you were going." Steve drops his hand down to take their hand, his other wrapping around her shoulder. "I'm just happy my Ari came home. And Ari... I made a lot of mistakes too... you're not alone."

You had so much attention. Shit, shit, Ari hadn't even thought about that. "The paps," she whispers, suddenly having a moment of realisation. "I left you- left you alone with them. Steve, I..." They trail off, not entirely sure what to say other then apologise. "I left you alone."

"Hey, hey, Ari..." Steve shakes his head, not wanting Ari to blame herself. "I wasn't alone, I had the team, Ari... it's alright, I promise you,I am not upset, I missed you so much, but please, please do not feel guilty." He pulls her fully into his arms again, firmly rubbing their back. "Please, don't take on that guilt."

Ari shakes her head right back, "I know you had the team, but god, they're always so much worse with you," they breath. "You and- and Dad, they hounded you so much more, I can't... I'm sorry." They look away, trying to shove down the guilt in favour of hugging Steve close.

"Hey, hey Ari... stop." Steve says gently, hugging Ari even tighter, letting her rest fully against his chest. "I know... but it's alright, I forgive you, whatever you think you need forgiving for, I forgave you the second you did it. I love you Ari." Steve presses a shaky kiss to the top of her head.

Ari nods shakily, a few tears they can't hold back slip out when he says that he forgives her. "Yeah. I- yeah. Were they horrible to you?" Ari asks softly, looking at Steve with concern.

"A little bit, but it was alright." Steve reaches out and gently brushes the tears away. He gives her a weak smile, pushing Ari's hair out of her face. "I'm alright, I promise."

"Don't believe ya," Ari mutters, because she could always see through Steve's lies. But she doesn't push the subject, leaning into his hand instead. "Missed you, Stevie."

Steve sighs deeply and gives her a small nod before he continues to brush her hair back. "I missed you too, Ari... so very much." He gives her a small sad smile. "I'm so happy you're home."

"I'm not gonna apologise again cause I think ya might kill me, but..." Ari shrugs, not quite sure what to say. Instead, she looks up at Stee and manages a small smile in return. "I don't know I like the person I am now, Steve," she says quietly.

Steve tilts his head slightly as he looks down at Ari. "Do you want to change?" He asks very, very gently. His hand stays in their hair, he shifts it down to cup her cheek.

Ari looks away for a moment, tears welling in their eyes. "I don't... I think so. I just. It's easy like this, y'know? But I can't.. I don't want to hide, I feel like..." her mind supplies countless adjectives. "Feel like a let down," they settle on.

Steve gently brushes the tears away, listening to their stumbling words. "Okay... I have to tell you Ari, I don't think your doing yourself any favors right now, even if it feels easier... hiding the pain, it'll break you eventually." Steve feels a bit like a hypocrite, that's what he's been doing... his eyes flick to his pills before he looks back to Ari, voice so very gentle. "We can work on it slowly... find healthy coping mechanisms."

"I know," Ari whispers, looking down. She feels tears fall from their eyes and drip off their chin. "Hidin' in booze and smoke 'n bodies is easy until it all catches up to ya." She shakes her head, feeling a little disgusted at herself, for everything they did, everythign they let happen to them. "You'd help me?" She asks

Ari's words break his heart, hating that she felt she had to turn to all that... the hint of what happened to her makes him what to scream, but he quickly holds it in, nodding quickly. "I'll help you, I'll be there for every single step, my Ari... I will help you." He gently cups her cheek again, giving her a gentle smile.

Ari can sense the tension radiating off Steve and she hates that she's the cause of it. Maybe they shouldn't have come back, maybe they were just going to make everything worse like he'd said. They try to shake the thought away and focus on her almost-dad. "Thank you, Ve," she whispers again.

"Of course. Aribear... I'm here for you always, no matter how broken you feel... how alone, I'm always here for you Ari. I promise." Steve starts to gently rock her in his arms, so happy she's home, even if it breaks his heart to see her like this. He starts humming softly, an old song he used to sing to them.

"I love you." Ari mumbles the words, their voice muffled by Steve's arms. When they recognise the song he's singing, they can't help but cry, and they try to hold it back, but it's not long before they're sobbing properly.

"I love you too." Steve whispers before he continues singing, he lets her sob, holds her through it rocking them both gently. Letting Ari feel her pain, he keeps singing the whole time, wanting to be a steady presence for her.

"I thought you'd hate me," Ari admits, a gasping break in the crying. "He said- i- I thought you'd hate me." They don't look at Steve. Can't.

"Ari- I would never hate you!" Steve gasps slightly, shaking his head quickly, even the thought of hating Ari makes him feel sick. He frowns deeply and tilts his head slightly. "Your boyfriend...? Oh Ari, he was lying..."

"But I- I left you," Ari shakes her head, still looking away from Steve. They flinch slightly at the mention of their boyfriend. "He-." They cut themselves for and shake their head again.

"I know, but I understand and I have forgiven you." Steve notices the flinch, and that utterly breaks his heart. He reaches up and brushes her hair back, eyes full of concern. "What is it Aribear?"

A tear slips out when Steve says he's forgiven her, and Ari curls closer to him. "Nothing. Its- it's nothing. He just... got in my head, I guess."

Steve rubs her back gently, tucking them under his chin. "I'm sorry Ari... if you want to talk about him, I'm here..." He kisses the top of her head, gently rocking them.

Ari shakes her head. "I just... I don't know. I think I was- I was pretty easy to manipulate, I think. We met when, I was... 19 I think? I'd just left Chicago."

"You were at your most vulnerable, it's not your fault you were manipulated." Steve listens quietly, still stroking their back gently, trying to comfort her. "19... I'm so sorry kiddo..." He pulls them closer, squeezing her firmly, his heart aching that he couldn't be there for her.

"I know. I know that." I think. Ari shakes their head a little, sighing, "He was good at it, though. Stayed with him for... three years? Almost? Yeah. He- he's who got me started smokin'," they don't really know why they're admiting it, but they can't seem to stpo.

Steve wants to cry, three years? Three years with a man he already hates just from the few things Ari has said about him. It breaks Steve's heart, but he soldiers on, Ari needs him. "I'm sorry." He mutters, not really knowing what to say, just wanting to comfort her. "I'm so proud of you for getting away from him, being brave enough to come home."

She shakes her head, "Don't be sorry. You know me, I've always been bad at chosin' partners, hmm?" They chuckle self deprecatingly, "I liked - like? I don't know - I liked smokin' anyhow. Only way I've found to get my brain to properly shut off." They smile softly at that, "Thanks, Stevie.."

"Ari..." Steve shakes his head slightly, not liking their tone of voice. He frowns and rubs her back, definitely not liking that. "I understand that, but Ari... that's not healthy, but, we will talk more about that when you're feeling better." He leans down to kiss the top of her head, giving her a small squeeze in his arms. "I really am so happy you came home."

"I know," Ari sighs when he says their name ilke that, she knows that voice, that's his Concerned Father Figure voice. They look up at him, smile weakly, "I know it isn't, I just..." She shrugs, and focuses on hugging him back. "I'm glad I'm home too. I really missed you. Kept lookin' ya up."

"I know... we'll talk about it later." He rests his cheek on top of their head. "I missed you so much Ari." He blinks rapidly and pulls her even closer, tucking Ari against his chest. "You did?" He glances down at her curiously. Oh- oh he hopes she didn't find anything bad... paps loved to speculate on how he was doing mentally, especially when he disappeared for two months.

"Okay." She knows there's no escaping that conversation, so instead accepts it'll just be put off until later. They nod quickly against his chest, "Yeah, all the time. Specially at the beginnin' and... the last few months, 'fore I left." They sigh a little. "You got a lotta attention. Don't know how ya handled it. I couldn't."

Steve nods slowly as he listens. "Ari, I'm a lot older then you. You were just a kid... not even grown before everyone was trying to get at you after you lost your Dad..." He runs his hand gently through her hair. "I've barely been handling it, I don't blame you for running."

Ari sighs, there's truth in that that she can't deny. "I just really miss him," they whisper, looking away as tears form in their eyes again. They turn to look at Steve carefully, "You're not doin' well either, huh?"

"I'm sorry." Steve whispers, but what else can he say? Tony's not coming back... He sniffs and wipes his own eyes, giving her a weak smile. "Not great no, but... it's me, you know I'll be alright."

"I know." Ari shakes her head, laughs bitterly. "All the worst parts of my life have been without him." They wipe at their eyes and reach out to squeeze Steve's hand. "We'll both be okay."

"We will... we will, I promise I'm here for you, for everything." Steve squeezes her hand in return, giving her a sad smile, eyes full of just a hint of hope, maybe things would be okay? Ari's back... Ari's safe.

Ari nods, silent. They chew on their lip, evidently hesitant to ask something, then slowly say, "Have you been to his grave?"

Steve almost flinches and shakes his head. He reaches up to shove his hand through his hair. "No, I... I haven't been able to make myself go there." He glances down, eyes full of sadness.

Ari looks down, nodding in understanding. Then, they look up, a mix of hope and hesitance in their eyes. "Would you- would you want to go? With me?"

Steve looks up to meet her eyes, smiling very, very slightly. "I would. I think that would be... good." He takes her hands in his, giving them a firm squeeze.

A small smile crosses Ari's face at that. "Yeah," they breathe, nodding quickly. "Yeah, I think it would be." The idea is terrifying, but appealing nonetheless.

"We'll do it together. You're not alone Ari, not anymore." Steve leans forward to press a kiss to the top of her head. "I love you." He's terrified to go to Tony's grave, but he'll do it, for Ari.

"Nor are you," Ari mumbles, leaning against Steve before saying, "I love you too. Thank you," they sigh, the idea of visiting Tony's grave is terrifying but they know they have to. "We should go at night. Fewer journalists."

You're already honoring the Gods. "Is this offering enough?" "Has it been too long since my last ritual?" "Is it okay that I missed this festival?" It's okay, you're already honoring the Gods. Your belief is an offering of its own. It's your trust, your faith, your hope, and your love. You're giving it willingly, and that's a precious offering to the Gods, and a testament to Their existence.

PRAISE BE

"i asked chatgpt" well i asked father zeus and he told me to have hope for the future