The Healer Babe

I’m really feeling the hormone flux today. I’ve been craving salty, sweet, or crunchy snacks.

The past 3 days I’ve had a handful of junk food and I don’t even regret it.

The Autumn phase is supposed to knock you down and prepare you to wash away everything that is not serving you. It’s the season to be vulnerable, open, and forgiving.

I’m taking this day to be present, forgiving, and observant. I want to chart my menstruation cycle so I know what phases I am in and which days are my transitional days so that I can be prepared.

I am feeling very exposed and useless. I feel like I am reversing everything that I’ve ever done that’s good for me. I feel like a failure. I feel weak.

I am more connected with spirit than I give myself credit for. Everything can be dismissed as a coincidence or bring out feelings of unworthiness for the help that my guides are sending to me.

Never have I been more immersed in the art of being humble. The art of detachment. The art of radical acceptance. Here's what I pieced together during my struggle this past week.

1. My client telling me about Jim Kwik's "Limitless" and how it has helped him learn through his personal struggles

2. Me being an egotistical dick and thinking that I know better/more so I'll get to it when I get to it

3. My bestie sending me stuff she learned about Part of Fortune and how mine is in 8th House Capricorn

4. Me removing hesitation and working on my ego trigger to learn about this as well

5. Me learning that my POF 8th Cap is telling me that life would be so much easier if I took the wisdom of others and "went with the flow"

6. Which ties in to my HD RAX Consciousness - All about going with the flow

7. Me finally realizing that spirit has been bread-crumbing me to this realization

8. Me in complete gratitude and awe

I've been triggered and snacking on "forbidden foods" which is not on the list and it's been a very impulsive decision. That bothers me a lot because I spent the last 2 weeks feeling fine and dandy, sticking to my routine so easily, and then I always hit this tipping point where I just seem to shut down and give up.

Full Moon in Virgo

Man I had a fucking meltdown yesterday. I was so overwhelmed with school that I discovered my immediate response is to eat my feelings away. Eating pretzels and a burger really didn't make me feel any better than I was expecting, but I'm really grateful to be more woke to these feelings now. I could barely finish my burger and fries.

Today, I do feel a lot better and I do not desire to eat junk food. I'm really happy with my food that I've been eating today and I feel fucking BLESSED that I no longer fall into my old shitty habit again.

So far I've lost 3 lbs and 1.5 inches around the waist, so I'm on my way!

UG: 115lbs + 26.0in CG: 120lbs + 28.0in CW: 126lbs + 30.25in

TODAY:

1. Shake + Ground Flax

2. Beef + Pea Tips + Chickpeas

3. Raincoast Salad

I literally just talked about how everything feels so forced and there I go trying to find the best theme for this blog. I know that once I make it pretty, I am going to trip out about it being perfect and then not make posts regularly because I don’t want to disrupt the beauty. 

So fuck this. I am going to use the most basic and shitty theme and if I keep this blog running for 6 months straight, I will celebrate with a new theme.

I am such a Venus-inspired person, always needing to make things beautiful haha.

Today marks the 6 month countdown for a beautiful theme :) 

It’s becoming easier and easier for me to trust the visions that I’m seeing in my mind’s eye. I’ve been bothered by the fact that I wanted to start a blog for over a decade now and yet every attempt felt forced and unnatural.

I think I kept trying to find a niche, or fit myself into a box that I neglected the fact that the nature of my soul is ever expanding and encompassing. As a sun born Sagittarius, I feel I have an undying love to explore all possible avenues of living my best life.

My intention for this blog is to keep it as raw and unfiltered as humanly possible. I want it to be complete with grammatical errors, filled with chaotic good energy, and passion exploding out of the seams of this tumblr account.