(Trans)cendent Neurodivergent

While relationships should be a relatively equal amount of give and take, you doing things for others that they never asked for nor expected of you and then being angry when they don't give 150% back is also a problem. It doesn't mean you're a nice person who's selfless and always giving to others. It means that you're not practicing healthy boundaries and you need to learn that Being Useful doesn't make people love you any more. If you unbalance the scale it isn't fair to come back at people with resentment when they practice healthy boundaries, i.e. respecting their own needs and limits and not centering you in every part of their lives.

⭐ DISCLAIMER: this is for harm reduction purposes only. if you want to come off a medication, it is best to do so with a trusted professional.

unfortunately, not all professionals know how to properly taper and may put you in danger. some may deny assistance entirely. please advocate for yourself/bring someone with you, or seek better care.

please do NOT rely solely on this post to do a self taper. i am a patient, may be wrong, and do not know you. if you can't access professional assistance, do your own research before doing anything.

- check if your medication has a withdrawal syndrome. learn about the symptoms and watch for them as you taper. if you begin to experience moderate or severe withdrawal, return to the previous dose at next dosing and reassess the tapering schedule.

- start low and go slow. the higher your dose and the longer you've been on the medication, the smaller the dose reductions will be and the less frequently you reduce the dose.

- how your dose was increased does NOT translate to how it should be decreased. tapering depends on the medication, current daily dose, and how long you've been on the medication.

- make a schedule and stick to it. do not rush. depending on your situation, it can take anywhere from days to years to come off a medication. days if you've only been on it for a short time or are on a low dose, years if you've been on it for years, and weeks to months in most other cases.

- instant release is NOT the same as extended release. instant release medications are released into the bloodstream much faster than extended. extended stays in the blood for longer. generally, you will be tapering more slowly on an ER med than an IR one.

- signs you're tapering too fast are: feeling sick, heart rate and blood pressure changes, issues with temperature regulation, distressing mental health symptoms like severe depression or anxiety, erratic mood, hallucinations, delusions, paranoia, severe insomnia

- normal changes as you taper down: mild changes in mood, energy, sleeping habits, appetite; these should fade as your body readjusts to the lower dose. if they do not go away after tapering ceases, contact a professional.

And as for the question of whether or not to taper, here are some reasons people choose to taper down or off:

The meds are causing side effects that cannot be tolerated

The meds are reducing quality of life instead of enhancing it (ex: being overly sedated or stimulated)

The meds are not effective or not effective enough to warrant the risks

To lower the risk of complications from long term medication use (ex: movement disorders from taking antipsychotics)

To avoid the withdrawal syndrome

The meds interact with other medications they are on, or are going on

The meds are too expensive

To learn to cope without medication

Psych meds have helped some, but there are also many more who find them not worth the risks or cost.

While I always hope people can safely taper down with a doctor, I know this is not always possible.

If you need to come off a medication for your health but lack support, self-tapering is an option. But it's risky, and can lead to crisis or hospitalization if done incorrectly.

If you choose to self-taper, if you do nothing else, please take it slow and stay safe! Do your own research!

this post is about keeping people as safe as possible in risky situations, not publicly shaming them and using them as an example of what not to do.

the emotionally sensitive autism and the emotionally numb autism.

The kid was picked up by an ambulance 30 minutes later.

Now as an adult working in security I get SO MANY folks- upper-middle aged mostly- coming to me to 'rat out' people they think are faking it.

I was once sent into a bathroom because a client demanded that the "fucker won't get out, so good drag them out"- I was NEVER going to do that, so I did a wellness check instead. You know who it was? A person recently released from the hospital after a car accident. They had a hole in their skull and major hearing loss. They couldn't answer the owner because they couldn't HEAR the owner.

Another time about a homeless man who got around town by kicking the ground from his wheelchair. "You know he doesn't actually need that thing, his legs work fine, it's just for pity points"- Oh, so he's not paralyzed, his wheelchair is performative? Funny story Dale, I actually know that guy, he was backed over by a truck and has chronic pain from his shattered pelvis. But sure, let's make him stand up and walk everywhere so nobody feels too bad for him and tries to help him or something.

"She doesn't need that scooter, I've seen her get out of it."

"Look how fat he is, because he just rides around and refuses to get up."

"She doesn't really need that cane- she comes here without it all the time"

If you care at all about people who have anxiety, autism, OCD, CPTSD, or any other number of "ruminating," "nervous," and "catastrophizing" conditions or dispositions, you need to abandon this phrase and others like it IMMEDIATELY:

"I need to talk, give me a call."

The PROBLEM isn't the request, it's ambiguity and unnecessary room to worry. Here's a little help, for the confused and ambiguous communicating types:

❌ "We need to talk."

✅ "Can we talk? I've been thinking about what you shared last night and I'd like to tell you more about my perspective."

❌ "Have you looked at your email yet?"

✅ "Did you see the email about the flight change? We'll need to update our plans."

❌ "Please come see me sometime today."

✅ "Do you have time to swing by my office and to go over the report? I have some feedback before it gets sent out."

❌ "Give me a call when you have a sec."

✅ "Can you call me so we can talk about when to meet to plan the presentation?"

❌ "When can we talk?"

✅ "When can we catch up? I miss you!"

GUESS WHAT???? Being kind not cryptic does mean saying/typing/sending MORE words vs. less. And that's fine--just say/type/send them. Your choice to take 2 minutes instead of 15 seconds will be a HUGE weight of mental load off your anxious receiver. You may save them hours or days of ruminating/worrying/obsessing.

This is especially important if you have power over them, aka, you are a boss/teacher/parent. Especially because some of these same folks won't feel comfortable saying back to you, "about what?" they'll just go on worrying until you say more. Even if they know they shouldn't. Even if they try their best to "assume positive intent." Even if they take anti anxiety or other mental health meds to help.

INTERESTINGLY, I have also heard people who say they cannot stand it when someone does this to them DO IT TO OTHERS because they forget that it sounds cryptic as fuck and they only remember their own firsthand experience. You may know that when you texted "When can we talk?" you are happily reaching out to chit chat, but they might hear it as "something's wrong in our relationship and it's so bad I'm not going to say it until we talk" and then they are wracking their brains to figure out "what they did wrong" when the answer is literally fucking nothing.

Clarity is kindness.

But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting.  Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible.  Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible.  Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because I don’t have the energy to go anywhere.

wanna go somewhere? sorry, you cant Walk or Open Doors.

wanna make some original art? nope, your arms are Too Weak. but you can do this simple craft if you want. at least there's that.

wanna eat? ahah, well. wouldn't you love that. Stomach Pain and Dizziness. cant cook and cant even eat a snack. Starve.

wanna lay down and rest? everything from the waist down is going to feel like it's in a vice. like someones squeezing your spine from the inside.

sit instead? ahah oh... dear... didnt you hear me before? spine vice.

wanna chat with a friend? there's no one around!

wanna watch a show or play videogames? photophobia and brain fog. push through if you want but you'll regret it.

wanna play with your cat? you cant even keep up with him.

wanna sleep? you'll need to spend 6 hours going back and forth between your bed and the couch because staying in one position for too long is excruciatingly painful