reBlog

What I learned is that there is an inflexible rule about how people interact with systems. If your system would work perfectly if people Just Would, and yet they Don’t, then your system is bad and you should feel bad. Systems must be built with an eye toward “will people actually do this”?

Recycling was a thing when I was a child. (The 70’s.) In my home in New York State, you could carry recyclables to a recycling center. Nobody did. Now in 2024 Baltimore there is a trash truck that comes every week to pick up my recyclables, and I and my neighbors fill our cans with objects that can be recycled, because a system was developed that was easy for busy people to do, and there’s a lot of social pressure to do it – but the social pressure wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t easy to do. Only the most crunchy granola people bitched at you if you didn’t recycle in 1979, when it required a lot of effort. Now it is considered kind of on par with spitting in the street or leaving a dirty diaper on the diaper changing table in the bathroom instead of throwing it out, if you don’t recycle.

"My 4-9 year old child is the most annoying person in the planet and I can't wait until he's old enough for a prescription because if he stays like this I'm just going to keep hating him."

"If he's too young for vyvanse start him on caffeine but no sugar! Half a can of diet cola with breakfast should be a good place to start."

"I started giving my kid her meds before she gets out of bed so that they kick in by breakfast time and I don't have to deal with her constant fidgeting and incessant talking."

Absolutely the fuck not.

Like, it's super important to me, a person with emotional dysregulation as a result of my ADHD *and* an overabundance of scrupulosity that leads to massive guilt spirals, to accept that yes I will have horrible nasty thoughts that not only form but also occasionally become fixations but *having* those thoughts and even ruminating on those thoughts is not a shitty thing, *ACTING* on those thoughts is the shitty thing.

That's why having a private space to safely vent (private discord server, conversation with a good friend, therapist's office) is perfectly fine and in fact can be extremely healthy (sometimes you can stop ruminating on your horrible thoughts once you articulate them to a more regulated human being who can help you to chill out by simply recognizing that you are upset and letting you feel your feelings in order to process them).

Trying to choke down all your negative thoughts before they form is just entirely too calvinist to be functional. Thought crime isn't real, expressing upsetting thoughts in a controlled environment isn't harmful, and you're not a bad person for thinking bad things.

The Enshittificator

The big stretch the first baseman has to do to catch the ball and remain on base

When a pitch rolls away and the catcher has to look all threatening at the base runners when he gets it

When the batter strikes out so bad and he can tell

When the fielder gives up trying to catch the home run ball

When the second baseman tries to catch a ball twenty feet above him

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

From there it's not actually difficult to get the other soldiers onboard with covering up the fact that poor Ping took one for the team and got afflicted by the vagina curse, especially since it would have been all of them if they hadn't gotten the warning ahead of time. So they agree to help him cover it up, because obviously the army's not going to understand.

Mulan: Uh, what boobs? Huh? Where did these come from?

Mushu: *facepalms and thinks quickly* (speaks from the shadows) I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE LAKE! BEWARE MY CURSED WATERS FOR THEY WILL TURN MEN INTO WOMEN!

Mulan: Look-

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: WE CAN EXPLAIN!!

[One convoluted, chaotic explanation later]

Shang: ...is this why you've all been insisting we don't camp anywhere that doesn't have a lake.

Shang: and then none of you actually swim in it.

Shang: and you all keep jumping at shadows.

Shang: wait a second Ping did this happen before or after you became insanely good at fighting?

Shang: did you get better at fighting after you became a woman.

Shang: are women better at fighting than us.

Mulan: ....uh. well. maybe? no one's ever tried to find out.

Yao: [thinking very fast] y'know Captain it's just so hard to find recruits these days.

Chien Po: Real shortage of men.

Ling: Lots of women, though.

Mulan: [catching on] Without marriage prospects.

Shang: You're right, men. The spirits must have done this in order to show us that we should be recruiting women as fighters.

Mushu [from the shadows, seeing an opportunity to do the funniest thing]: EXACTLY, LI SHANG. I HAVE TRANSFORMED PING INTO A WOMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOO LONG OVERLOOKED THE TRUE WAY TO WIN THE WAR.

Mulan [seeing an opportunity to get all the stories straight]: O Great Spirit, is it reversible?

Mushu: WHY WOULD YOU WISH TO REJECT MY GIFT? I HAVE SEEN YOUR HEART, CHILD, AND HAVE ALREADY ALTERED THE MEMORIES OF EVERYONE WHO KNEW YOU BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR THE ARMY. YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THEIR DAUGHTER.

Li Shang: Welp, the spirits have spoken. Ping - wait is your name still Ping if you're a woman now?

Mulan: Uh. Actually, I was thinking of renaming myself. How do you feel about Mulan?

BONUS:

Mulan [climbing out of the eleventh lake the men have arranged for her to swim in]: Yeah no, it didn't work. Still got boobs. [tries to appear dejected].

Chien Po: If it makes you feel better, they're very nice boobs.