An Autist's Thoughts

They made a deal with that witch. They wanted a son, and they got one. A son, one made out of clay and wood, flexible enough to grow but sturdy enough to withstand its destined path, enchanted to look like a human child. The witch asked for only one thing, and that was for their daughter.

They left the girl readily.

The witch raised her as her own, and called her Thyme. The princess grew up unknowing of her heritage, grew up calling the witch Mama, and the witch did her very best to earn that title.

She was taught magic, and how to forage in the woods, how to build sturdy wooden structures and how to make the most delicious stews. The girl had a good life, and the witch was pleased.

The girl grew into a woman, and learned more and more powerful magics, grew stronger from hauling wood and stones and animals to cook, grew smarter as the witch taught her more.

She learned to deal with the people in the villages nearby, learned how to brew remedies and medicines and how to treat illness and injury, and learned how to tell when someone was lying. 

Every time the pair went into town, the people would remark at just how similar Thyme was to her mother. 

(Thyme does not know who and what she is. She does not know that she was born a princess, that she was sold. She only knows that one night after her mother read her a story about princesses and dragons, her mother had asked her if she ever wanted to be a princess.)

((Thyme only knows that she very quickly answered no. She likes being a witch, thank you very much, she likes the power that comes with it and the way that she can look at things and know their true nature.))

The witch starts preparing the ritual early, starts collecting the necessities in the winter so they can be ready by the fall equinox. Her daughter helps, and does not ask what this is for, just knows that it is important.

The witch looks at Thyme, both their hands raised into the air over a complicated array of plants, tended carefully to grow into a circle, and says, sorry.

Those of you who aren’t on autistic twitter are missing out on Puppetgate.

Hold onto your pants because this is going to get UNREAL.

1. A London playhouse reveals that it will be doing a play about a family whose non-verbal autistic child is being sent to an institution.

The autistic child will be represented by a puppet.

2. Autistic Twitter: “A puppet? What the fuck? Like we already feel like we are treated as inhuman things with no voice.”

3. Play supporters: “but Julia from Sesame Street is okay right?”

4. Autistic twitter: “…true but why a puppet?”

5. Playhouse: “because of child labour laws. You can’t ask a non verbal autistic child to perform in a play day after day.”

6. Autistic Twitter: “but why couldn’t a small adult actor just…”

7. Playhouse: “okay and here is the puppet!”

8. Autistic Twitter: “Oh dear god what is that unholy abomination?”

9. Playhouse: “it’s great right? This puppet is going to be SO MUCH more like an autistic child than a human could ever be!”

(Seriously)

https://twitter.com/allinarowplay/status/1092410318960148481?s=21

10. Autistic Twitter: “how could that creepy goblin represent an autistic child better than an actor could?”

11. Playhouse: “Well you see because he’s a non verbal autistic and aggressive so things get pretty physical and also it would be stereotypical and insulting to make a human play an autistic person but if we use an inanimate object it’s fine.”

12. Autistic Twitter: “We are NOT okay with this.”

13. Playhouse: “You haven’t even seen the play. We consulted with so many autistic people.”

14. National Autism Society: “Yeah you consulted us and we told you that this play was problematic and that you should make some major changes including dumping the puppet.”

15. Playhouse: “And we took those notes under advisement.”

16. NAS: “But you didn’t make the changes.”

17. Playhouse: “No. Because you just a read a script and we know you’ll all feel differently when you see it.

18. Autistic Twitter: “So… can autistic theatre critics get free tickets so we can see if?”

19. Playhouse: “No we can’t afford to give out free tickets to critics.”

20. Non-Autistic Critic: “Actually you offered ME free tickets and I turned them down saying you should give them to an autistic critic.”

21. Playhouse: “…Hey look, opening night!”

22. Non-Autistic Critic: “So I went to see it and… it’s really weird. The parents are terrible people and I cannot for the life of me understand why they thought an adult man with a grey faced goblin sprouting from his groin making autistic noises was more realistic than an autistic actor playing the child themself.”

23. Non-Autistic Autism Advocate: “I went to see it and it was SO GOOD. I totally forgot that Laurence was a puppet he seemed so much like a real autistic child in that he was not human and he didn’t even feature that much in the play.

The heartbreak of the family dealing with the tragedy of autism was so real and honest and I have NO idea why people are offended by this wonderful play that portrays autism as a family-destroying evil.

24. #ActuallyAutistic Critic: “GUYS I WENT TO SEE IT AND OMG. Theatre isn’t sensory friendly, non sensory friendly performances, no trigger warnings on anything even though it’s full of ableism and screaming people.

Plot of the play is that the kid is being taken by social services to go to an institution.

Big plot twist is that the mom called them herself because she couldn’t handle the autism anymore.

Puppet just flaps around and occasionally attacks people. I actually really love puppetry but this was messed up and not well done AT ALL.

These people are all terrible. Dad has been taking shits on the Mom’s pillow and blaming it on his non-verbal son.

Puppet gets pinned to the ground in that move that can kill people.

The puppet’s care worker says that autistic people are animals who have reincarnated as people, and he’s still the best human being in this play.

This is play is an ableist shitfest written by allistics for allistics about the tragedy of autism and how it destroys families.”

25. Autistic Twitter: “Sorry, did you say the Dad SHITS ON HIS WIFE’S PILLOW AND BLAMES HIS SON??”

26. Allistic Twitter: “This play was SO brave to be so honest about how awful autistic children are! So refreshing to see a play showing the PARENTS’ viewpoint for once!

(SERIOUSLY)

So that’s where we are right about now. If you want to go be angry the hashtag on twitter is #puppetgate

Here is a link to Shaun May’s amazing and horrifying review of this tire fire of a play.

https://shaunmay.co.uk/allinarow/

UM

Well, that’s a bit of a boost to my self-esteem, I guess.

foreversarah24:

IF YOU DONT REBLOG, YOU DONT HAVE A HEART.

im sorry followers.

Midnightwhoree: How could i ignore this!  Always and forever against child abuse! 

People who abuse children are sick! && should be locked up!

CHILD ABUSERS SHOULD BURN IN HELL.

Let’s make this world more like…

I know that lots of you struggle with selfcare, no that’s why I wanted to share with you guys some ideas to help you out.

Journals

Having a journal is a nice idea to encourage selfcare. If you usually forget to update it a good idea is to have a routine in certain moments of the day like after waking up, after school, before going to bed; specific moments of the day that will make it easier to remember it. 

I know most of you (including me) love to make lists but struggle planning things or fulfiling your plans due to executive dysfunction, but if you go little by little adding details to your routine you can be able to change it. My idea is to make a list of things that are struggles for you like staying hydrated, sleeping, eating, showering, brushing your hair or your teeth, and create a mind map with ways to overcome this problems. Here I have some ideas for you:

Shower

Shower can be an struggle for many reasons but if some of this are your issues this might help.

Struggle showering due to sensory issues can be a problem. I experience it a lot, my shower always change the temperature of the water spontaneously and I hate feeling wet. However staying clean is a necesity and you can do many things to make this issue milder:

If you hate feeling wet you can try showering part by part of your body with a piece of cloth to control the amount of water that comes to your body.

If vapor overwhelmes you may prefer to have a bath instead of shower, maybe with not too warm water.

If the scents of shampoo or soap are too strong for you, water down the bottles. You can also try brands that may be less overpowering or more pleasing for you.

If the noise of the shower is too much for you, try having baths. However I know having a bath whenever you want to clean yourself is a big deal in terms of paying the water bills, so you can also try like I’ve said before showering part by part using a piece of cloth.

If you find showering understimmulating but you fear that you may have an accident if stimming in the shower, try to use shower toys like a little cute duck.

Struggle showering due to executive dysfunction is also a problem. It also happens to me, this are my tips:

If you forget to shower, set an alarm in your mobile phone. You can also try to put a poster in your wall to remind you to shower. Asking a friend, your family or your couple if they can remind you to shower everyday or every two days can be also a good idea.

If you want to shower but your body does not seem to move, put omething appealing in the shower like toys or orbeez to encourage you to go and have a shower.

Eating and drinking

Executive dysfunction can stop you from eating or drinking when you need it. My advise is:

Have always water and food near to you. In your bag, in your bedroom, have some sweets inside your pocket, some fruit on your desk.

Have someone to help you out, intervention can be a way to deal with it.

Sleeping

Struggles with sleeping are big deals. Having a good sleep can make the difference between a good day and a bad day.

If you overthink, you could try meditation or relaxing techniques. Reading also is helpful to prepare your mind for sleeping. Avoid screens, they can decrease the creation of melatonine in your brain.

If hyperfixation or executive dysfunction stops you from sleeping ask for someone to help you, the best you can do is trust someone to help you out.

Brushing your teeth

Brushing your teeth can be sensory hell and executive dysfunction can play a bad role here. Things you can do to overcome this are:

If it’s sensory hell, use just mouthwash. You can water it down if it’s too strong for you.

If executive dysfunction does not want to collaborate, use something appealing that may make it more interesting like buying a toothpaste with a nice flavour.

Getting dressed and brushing your hair

Something I want to point out is that there is no issue if what you wear is considered ‘weird’, the most important thing here is that you feel comfortable with what you’re wearing. So, if executive dysfunction or sensory issues are unableing you to get dressed and brush your hair here I have some tips:

If clothing is sensory hell or overwhelming for you don’t sacrifice your comfort to fit in social rules and beauty standards, wear clothing with thin cloth that allows you to move freely. If your pijama is the thing that makes you feel more comfortable, stay in pijama in your house all the time.

If brushing your hair is sensory hell you can try a softer brush or just showering and brushing your hair with your fingers.

If executive dysfunction keeps you from doing those things, again, you can ask for help or try to make it more appealing by using clothing that will make you feel sensory heaven or using fragrances in your hair.

Remember that you can go little by little adding this things to your routine. One at the time, including it progressively, follow your rythm and don’t push yourself. In your journal you can create a spread for every day of the week including the details you want to add day by day and how you want to do it or a reminder to do those things once you have incorporated it to your routine.

Posters

Writting posters reminding you your necesitites can be useful if you may forget about your journal. You can even have a board in which you can write what you have to do during the day.

This posters can be a checklist that you may mark with pencil to erase it at the end of the day and start over again. A board can be very helpful for this.

It can also be reminders of what you have to do or what you want to do.

Comfort box

Having a comfort box can be very useful to prevent meltdowns/shutdowns. I know that listing things you can add to it isn’t useful as executive dysfunction makes it difficult to choose so here I have some ideas for comfort boxes. Choose your favourite:

Visual box: nougat, carrots, prints and images of your special intenrest, a bottle with glitter and water, a relaxing film (studio ghibli, disney…), a photoalbum, cute tape, a bottle with orbeez and water.

Touch box: honey, peaches, feathers (real or synthetic), slime, squishys, foam, clay, nice fabric, a blanket, plushies, a lotion.

Smell and taste box: milk, cherries, candles, perfume, chewing toys, caramel, lotion, moistraiser, flowers, herbs.

Focusing box: lollypops, apples, a rubik’s cube, books, a nice relaxing film, a fidget spinner, a cube spinner, crayons and paper, a notebook and a pen, some music.

Of course, you can create your own, this are just ideas for different kinds of people who may enjoy certain types of stimulation.

Selfcare after a meltdown/shutdown

This is so different for all of you that I can’t really tell you what to do after a meltdown or shutdown. I’m going to give some ideas but really this things depend a lot on the kind of person you are:

Breath deep and slow. Try some meditation. Make your breathing regular and avoid hyperventiling as it can provoke you to colapse.

I find oral stims extremly helpful so you may want to have some stimmy sweets like lollypops, chewing gum or a nice piece of fruit.

Stay hydrated, having a glass of water can be seen as a tiny detail but it’s extremely helpful.

Stim free, engage your special interests, don’t feel limited by social rules.

Listen to relaxing music.

ASMR, specially ear blowing and breathing, those sounds are so helpful to calm you down.

Interact with your pets.

Vent. By talking, posting, tell what has happened, write it down, if you are able, analyse the situation to prevent it from happening again.

Lay on your bed or in a flat surface for a while.

Sleep, have a nap, rest.

I just had a (relatively minor) meltdown because I had been talking to my family for a VERY long time and it got too much. I noticed that there aren’t many ‘things to do after a meltdown’ posts on tumblr, so here goes:

1. Get comfortable. Go to your safe space and, if you like blankets, pile up some blankets and pillows to relax on.

2. Read or watch a movie. You obviously don’t want to over-stimulate your senses AGAIN, so if you choose to watch a film, make sure that the volume is low enough for you.

3. Stim! If you like to stim and it calms you down, do some stimming! Listen to music, flap your hands/rock/any other physical stims, or play with stim toys.

4. Drink water! Having a meltdown is exhausting, and if you’ve been crying a lot you might be dehydrated. So be sure to keep your fluids up! Plus, I’ve found that drinking water makes me feel better generally.

5. Sit in the dark. If the meltdown was really bad or you are still feeling a bit over stimulated, try sitting in your bedroom/bathroom/safe space with some blankets. Turn the lights off and, if you’d like, put on some soft music.

I’ve been reading The 50 Year Mission which is about how Star Trek was created and became the big phenomenon that it is. Currently at the point where the original series was off the air, but it was kept alive by it’s fans. I want to amend, it’s female fans. The names of the people instrumental in keeping it alive are all female, with the exception of one. Women organizing conventions, women creating fanzines on mimeograph machines, women writing fanfics, organizing letter campaigns, etc. I’ve gotten whiffs of this from my mom, who was a teenager in the 70s and a Trekker, but as soon as I heard she’d written Kirk/Spock slash I didn’t want to know more type thing. Now I’m IMing her about it. 

And as I’m reading it I am getting so angry. For so long, from Star Trek to Star Wars, I felt science fiction media was very dismissive of the fact that they had female fans in their quest to appease the adolescent male.This boiled over in the early 2000s where both Star Trek and Star Wars really flopped in terms of diversity of female characters and characterization of them, and I forswore both of them for years (and got into anime for awhile which had the diversity of female characters that American shows lacked).

With the Star Wars sequels it feels as though they are waking up to the fact that female fans are putting so much effort into these shows, and from what I’ve heard Star Trek followed suit with Discovery. Still, when I watched something like The Last Jedi I feel so spoiled to finally see so many female characters in a science fiction show. While I desperately want to watch Discovery, I don’t like what CBS is pulling with their all access so I hope it comes to Netflix soon, because I have the feeling I will have the same sense of being spoiled.