The Fun Disorder Diary

Don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to your best friend (no more self-deprecation allowed!)

Start as you mean to continue (as best/where you can)

Go where you're wanted

Guard and savor your joy

Do not set yourself on fire to keep others warm

Your best is whatever you can do in each moment, not everything you are or were or are theoretically capable of

Work to cultivate the life you want to live

Shame is a social emotion (so there's no point in feeling it in private)

It's only embarrassing if you're embarrassed

Cringe is dead, be free!

If beating yourself up worked, it would have worked by now

If you do not schedule time for maintenance, your equipment (body) will schedule it for you

Play and rest are both necessary to recharge your brain

Tell your friends you love them

It's not stupid if it keeps you alive

You are a child of the universe, as much as the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here

These are things I've found to be very helpful and/or true, anyway

Rainy day in the forest

Being the first host after syscovery is so daunting because all these guys are relying on me to take care of them all and the last host only had to think of herself.

Becoming the new host after a major life change is like being handed a giant sheet of blank paper and being told to “go wild”.

It’s 3am and I can’t sleep because nobody is ever going to live by solely my values so now I feel like everyone is unsafe and unpredictable, similarly I feel hugely guilty for feeling like a dictator because I don’t want anyone to exist beyond the person I am and I know that is not how the world works. So now I’m also really mad that nobody will understand me and they will all reject me and alienate me and I’ll be left alone fighting against nothing because everyone is wrong, but none of them even care that I exist.

I feel like I’m shivering alone in an empty snowy cave and watching everyone else have a party around the nice warm campfire.