women. that's it.

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

The line from black widow that will always stick with me is Melina’s “why does a mouse born in a cage run on that little wheel?”

Beatrice and Benedick are so fucking funny, I love them so much.