Be Gay Do Crimes

TikTok user unravel.me.now has just launch an app (lore.fm) she is calling “Audible for AO3”. It’s an app that uses AI voices to read out fics.

🚨She is requiring any authors who do not want their fics to be on this app to OPT OUT by emailing [email protected] 🚨 🚨She has not given an actual template or how you’re supposed to prove you’re the author or said how her team will process this or how she will keep these requests secure🚨

I do not have this app. I haven’t seen anyone use it yet. According to Reddit users, unravel.me.now’s earlier TikToks stated she envisions the app being able to create libraries stored on that app and to have version of “Spotify wrapped”. That implies that eventually data collection must happen, if it’s not happening currently.

I don’t know the actual capabilities of this app. I don’t know the legalities. I do know that it personally feels like this app is trying to turn AO3 into a content generation source and I haven’t heard of the app allowing you to leave a comment or kudos or interact with the original work.

Don’t touch that app with a ten foot pole.

If you want to listen to fic, there are podfics and screen readers. Screen readers don’t sound awesome, but it’s passible.

On iPhone:

But another huge action for preventing harm is keeping trump from becoming president again. Currently, the US is only backing the genocide– but if Trump wins, I would be willing to bet that the US will start directly helping. (Oh and also it might be the end of american democracy but that's a little off topic)

The thing is, those messages about "liberals support the status quo, which is bad" miss the reality of the situation: the status quo SHOULD ABSOLUTELY ALWAYS be the preferred option to making everything worse.

I've seen this discussion about biden's foreign policy framed previously as "ignoring the genocide to focus on our own issues is selfish." Of course it's true that the Biden administration has made a lot of progress, and it is beyond unfortunate that the US is complicit in the genocide despite that. But unequivocally, the actual "ignore the genocide" option is to support anyone else's bid for presidency, because any vote against Biden puts us closer to another trump presidency. And to be clear: a trump presidency will be worse for Palestinians than another 4 years of Biden's administration.

It’s also the intellectual position to take and we wouldn’t want that, oh no no no. Let’s split the democratic votes and let a Republican, any Republican really, take over and go full war mode.

Here are some of my fave (so far) fics and art from the @madisonandmore summer prompt challenge!

Well, the start of September makes it feel like summer is fading. But don't worry, fearless reader! These summery fanfics will make you feel the sun on your face, the sand under your feet, and the scent of fresh-cut grass on the breeze!

Unnameable Truth (M) @thefiveboxingwizards | vacation, less than 5000 words, one-shot

I liked that this was a less sunny/happy/vacation-y story about repression and self-discovery. The summer's not happy and carefree for everyone. But there is hope at the end of this one.

Wasteland Baby (M) @checkdeezpucks | AU, one-shot

This surprised me! Despite the premise sounding a bit incongruous with Check Please, this was a great read. Mad Max Tater/Parse was a longshot for me but you proved me wrong, op. Would definitely not be mad if we got another chapter or two of this 👀

Hot-lanta (G) @justlookfrightened | Zimbits, vacation, one-shot

I keep thinking about this one, and Bitty/Jack's meet-cute and Bitty rollerblading. And quiches. And Tater being wingman!

suddenly this summer it's clear (T) @dessertwaffles | favourite ship, a work that made me laugh, one-shot

I actually snorted out loud while reading this standing out on the sidewalk in a crowd of people while waiting for the streetcar. I have no shame. It's funny and cute, read it!

like an ice cream cone (T) @wrathofthestag | SHITTY KNIGHT!!, food or baking, one-shot

Shitty's backstory is important to me (!!!) and this was great. Discussion question: Is the origin of Shitty's porn-stache tied to the memory of a moustachioed ice cream vendor he idolizes from his youth? You tell me. It was hard to see tiny Shitty going through family problems but his au pair seems like the coolest!

amphibious creatures (T) HowOldAreWe | fave ship, mermaids, frogs 🐸 , multi-chapter

I don't generally go for mermaid AUs but this was juuuust lovely! The frogs are wonderful here, and I really liked the setup and follow-through. And I'm not going to say any more than that Chowder makes a great appearance here :)

Making My Head Spin (E) @justlookfrightened | summer camp, zimbits, multi-chapter

Turns out I like fics where Bitty makes a go of it for the NHL! Loved seeing Jack and Bitty letting down their guard and risking being hurt in this one. Super sweet and a little spicy at the end :) Nothing better than that.

Heard The Mermaids Singing (M) @checkdeezpucks | rarepair, mermaids, one-shot

This was another work that wasn't sun-drenched and happy. I loved to see the gritty, almost gothic setting; loved to see some CP femmeslash. Loved to see the teeth and the texture here. Short and... piquant.

The Way Way North (T) by @mcbangle | zimbits, SHITTY KNIGHT!!, vacation, the beach, work that made me smile, frogs, multi-chapter

I keep thinking about this one. Listen, Shitty Knight is... essential. He is the GLUE that holds together CP Year One for me, okay? I know that this fic is primarily about Bitty and his parents' relationship, and his crush on Jack, and that is all done deftly and wonderfully. But Shitty is the standout for me here. (Also I now need to see the movie this is based on.)

Eelgrass (T) by @perhapsajacket | fave ship, the beach, vacation, multi-chapter (pending)

Just a nice AU where Dex is ho-humming through his vacation until he chances upon the cute local bookshop owner (enter Nursey) who has fallen into a tidepool and needs a hand. What could be more adorable than that? I liked seeing some of Dex's family and backstory here. And I would live to see more 👀

Cowabunga (G) @zimbits-my-love | art, surfing, the beach

This is super cute art and I loved the colour scheme. I can so imagine Bitty and Jack surfing together on vacation!

No I had not seen it before—here’s the one I just watched

Disclaimer: written on my phone.

Will I continue this? Maybe eventually. I have another Zimbits AU idea living rent free in my mind that I want to write.

Set in 2020-2021—no covid:

The ironic thing is it doesn’t start out of convenience, intentionality, or necessity, it begins with a misunderstanding. A pap catches a picture of Bitty pulling Jack from booth to booth at the monthly farmer’s market by his hand, and the collective power of Baking Twitter and Gay Hockey Twitter make the photo trend for an entire day.

But it’s not like Jack and Bitty hide their friendship. It’s a well known fact that Eric Bittle, host of Netflix’s newest baking show, Knead to Know, and Jack Zimmermann, captain of the Providence Falconers, are best friends and former teammates. So when a reporter says to Jack, “Twitter’s been aflutter over a recent picture of you and Eric Bittle. Care to comment?” Jack doesn’t think twice when he replies, “Euh, it’s always great getting to hang out with my bud.”

Canadian Twitter subsequently trends #andtheywerebuds.

Of course a passing comment wherein one person refers to their friend as their “bud” doesn’t necessarily carry any hidden significance. However, the picture of a groggy Jack Zimmermann posted at 5:38 am to Eric Bittle’s Instagram story all but confirms everyone’s suspicions: Jack Zimmermann and Eric Bittle are dating. It takes less than two hours for Baking Twitter and Gay Hockey Twitter to figure out Zimbits is the ideal shipname.

Unbeknownst to the Internet, Eric, who lives in New York where he shoots Knead to Know, is only visiting Jack as a favor to his best friend—not because he’s visiting his secret boyfriend. You see Jack, who only recently became captain of the Falconers due to the retirement of Sebastien St. Martin and Randall Robinson III at the end of the season prior, has just bought a house in Providence, and there’s no one Jack trusts more to help him settle in and decorate than his best friend Eric. You see, it’s moving day, and Eric thought the groggy picture of Jack was too hilarious not to share on his Instagram. It doesn’t help that it’s 5:38 am and Eric’s critical thinking skills haven’t woken up enough to warn him that posting a picture of a sleepy Jack Zimmermann might cause fans to read more into his relationship with Jack than they should.

While Jack and Bitty slowly and tiredly load up the U-Haul (because Jack insisted on moving everything himself rather than hiring a moving company), #Zimbits begins to trend in Canada and the United States.

As addicted as Bitty is to Twitter, he had to turn off his notifications when he got his blue check. It is for this reason that Bitty doesn’t realize he’s trending until he receives a phone call at 11:12 am, while he’s in the middle of carefully unloading Jack’s kitchenware in his new home.

“Hey, girl what’s up!?” Bitty cheerfully answers.

“Uh,” Lardo releases a strained laugh, “have you seen Twitter today?”

“No, I haven’t touched my phone practically all day,” Bitty brightly answers. “Jack and I are still unpacking but we’ll probably take a break soon for lunch. Is there some Twitter drama that I’m missing?”

“Oh, yeah, that’s one word for it.”

“Oh my god what? Just tell me it’s not Beyoncé!”

“It’s not Beyoncé…”

“Okay, good! Then it can wait until lunch.”

“Bits. It’s you.”

“Pardon?”

COMING SOON!!

What Our Future Will Be

A Zimbits fic for the OMGCP Big Bang by PorcupineGirl with art by @novva and @pieandpucks

---

"Jack!" Eric bounces on his toes and smacks at Jack's arms, startling him. "Hire me for the summer!"

Jack squints at him. "What?"

"Let me be your nanny for the first couple months! I'll have to go home for a couple weeks to make my parents happy, but you said your parents'll be helping out, so I can schedule it when it works for them to be there. I know you'll have to hire someone new when the school year starts, but I think you'll be a lot happier havin' someone you know around at first instead of some stranger. Newborns are such a handful to begin with, but I know how to deal with them, I swear."

When Camilla gets pregnant from a one-time hookup at the start of Jack's senior year, he decides to keep the baby.

This changes the course of Bitty's life.

---

My fic for the @omgcpbigbang2021 starts posting on Monday, Dec 13!

...And will continue posting for a while, seeing as how it’s 15 chapters...

“Small world, huh,” Jack hears himself saying weakly.

The moment stretches thin between them, until finally Bitty echoes, his tone laden with incredulity, “You don’t say.”

Or: Jack and Bitty both reluctantly agree to go on a blind date. Coincidentally, it's the same blind date.

word count: 13k

tags: future fic, blind date, friends to lovers, no graduation kiss

Jack and Bitty's friendship started out rough but it's towards the end of the season and they're starting to work well together/become friends. Everything is basically the same as canon until Bitty gets his concussion

things Bitty does not know: 1) Jack is already desperately in love with him, 2) Jack is so hopelessly in love with him that he wrote a damn song about it

Bitty's struggling not to lose consciousness so he asks Jack to sing him a song and Jack hums the song he's been writing for Bitty. As he's about to pass out he's like "That's pretty, what's the title of the song?"

and Jack says it's called "Zimbits" but Bitty is officially unconscious and doesn't remember

And THAT is why I think more omgcp fans should watch the Untamed with me because this is essentially what happens.

Teenaged Lan Wangji composes a whole-ass song for the boy he once found super annoying and then names it their ship name. The difference is Wei Wuxian is an oblivious bisexual disaster who can't seem to notice that his literal soulmate is in love with him.

bliss (is on the other side of this)

In another life, Jack Zimmermann is an Olympian, a two-time Stanley Cup champion, and the high-flying Captain of the Montréal Canadiens. On the surface, his world is as perfect as his career would suggest, but in reality, Jack is struggling to balance superstardom with a tenuous personal life.

Between his GM father threatening to put him on IR, a partner Jack can’t be seen in public with, and the ever-present haze of a secret mental illness, Jack’s life is a mess he’d love to ignore.

Now, a rogue Cup Day wish will give Jack a chance to see a life where he wasn't afraid to go public

going by the official timeline, this is just days before jack pops the big question

au where, four years later, jack is wearing the a and he finds george sighing at piles of paper on her desk and when he asks her what's wrong and if he can help she says, "wanna help me scout ncaa players?", and she's mostly joking so she's pretty surprised when jack says, "okay."

and when they divide the schools between them jack gets samwell because he tells george his mom went there, and it's not a big name school, so why should it matter?

jack takes his job seriously. and smh have good potential - jack immediately zeroes in on chow, but the kid's a freshman and it's a bit too early - and there's birkholz, but jack asks around and the guy is post-injury, and then -

jack notices bittle only after the playoffs. he's small, so at first jack's eye kind of skids off him, but the playoffs show off how he's also fast. fast in ways the falcs' offense isn't, and could really use. and jack played with parse, he knows size doesn't equal talent, and he knows this kind of size and speed is sometimes a huge asset...

but he's also still a sophomore, so jack doesn't say anything yet. the falcs don't have the cap space to spare that year anyway. but he keeps an eye on bittle for most of the following year, except he doesn't watch the ncaa playoffs as closely as he has because the falcs go far in their own playoffs, and then further, and then they win the cup, so.

but when george asks during that summer he tells her about the speedy winger who's graduating next year. and she's impressed -- starts talking about the farm team, asks jack to keep an eye on bittle to see if anyone is making him a different offer -- and jack feels proud because he's done well. he helped.

jack would've heard about bittle making captain even if he wasn't keeping a close eye. first out ncaa captain. jack doesn't think much of it -- very deliberately, probably, doesn't think much of it -- and when he shows the articles to george he very deliberately doesn't think about the way she just says, "okay, we'll let pr know in advance," without looking like it's going to be a problem.

george lets pr know, and she starts sending scouts to samwell games. it seems like everything is gonna work out (if bittle is interested in their offer). except first out ncaa captain lingers with jack, and he keeps keeping an eye on bittle, even googles him a little, maybe not just articles but also images, which he maybe spends a while looking at? maybe? he's not totally aware he's doing it until the screen goes black.

the thing is, bittle was a cute sophomore, and a good looking junior, but bittle as a senior and a captain is... well. jack's not sure he ever experienced this kind of reaction, isn't used to only be attracted to looks (it should be noted that jack isn't too in tune with the fact that he also knows every tiny detail about bittle's hockey and that he read three google pages worth of interviews with him and that he even read some of his social media and seen some of his videos, because jack takes everything seriously, even non-official scouting gigs. but it's probably easier to tell himself that his attraction is only based on looks).

but then samwell wins the championship under bittle's lead and george tells jack that they're gonna make him an offer. and jack must not look very happy about it, because george frowns and asks, "is there a problem?", and jack opens his mouth to say no, because bittle is a good player, could fit well with the falcs, there's no problem -- but then he realizes: there's no hockey problem.

oh. he's really, actually, genuinely into the rookie he just helped recruit.