but are YOU a reliable narrator?

*arrives at poetry reading* hi…where do the muses sit?

I'm so sick of being thwarted. I swear to you, my next plot shall not go comically awry.

well i'm officially DONE with dating! everyone keeps insisting we meet up at my place so they don't have to invite me in and that we only go out in broad daylight and putting far too much salt and garlic in my food when they cook for me. as if killing me is going to be that easy.

you know what line from Shakespeare makes me go feral. that one line that’s like “I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes (and also I will go with thee to thy Uncle)” from Much Ado About Nothing because like. that line is objectively really funny because Beatrice is just talking about going with Benedick to have a conversation with her uncle and he’s. being an overdramatic bitch again. but the other thing is that. that line is so unbearably tender. imagine you ask someone to go with you to your uncle’s and they seriously tell you not only do they want to do that but they also want to die in your lap and be buried in your eyes, sort of in a joking tone but also completely meaning it. i cant think about that too long or ill absolutely go insane

on god, i’m waking up january first with a healthy dose of serotonin and a functioning attention span. like, this entire past decade has just been a fluke, you mark my words. i have planted the seed and i will see the fucking harvest!

Hi, not sure if you remember me but we used to illustrate sacred cuneiform next to each other on clay tablets 6,000 years ago?