Dani

(as somebody who’s burnt out and unemployed)

☕️ i drink one of my favorite beverages (coffee/mango juice) daily

⌨️ i write, sometimes it’s just pure garbage but i do it anyway (i just don’t share it lol)

🍳 i cook for me and my husband. i enjoy making smol meals for two, anything more than that i genuinely feel like crying

🎨 i draw something/anything and just keep it buried in my procreate graveyard

📺 i watch my favorite show (currently it’s young sheldon) and just try to relax

at 31, i can definitely say i’ve never been more lost—career-wise and mentally. there are days when i cry to my husband because i feel extremely tired to just exist. other days, there’s a glimmer of hope and i try to run with it like how one would do a 12-hour shift with 30 minutes of sleep.

some nights i stay up wondering if my dreams are even worth seeing through, considering i’ve been hyper fixating on different things. can’t sit still without my head wandering around—story 1 could use this, actually maybe write an entirely different genre, hmm how about dark fantasy with a touch or paranormal stuff? ORRR maybe i can just stick to romance because that’s the genre i’ve been exposed to my whole life or maybe not write at all, let’s just draw! i’m pretty good with hyper realism but lately i’ve been loving cute illustrations with a splash of colors, BUT WAAAIT! maybe i can make a bunch of templates, like planners and stuff and people can use it! OR MAYBE, a better use of my time, go into job portals and just job hunt-

and that’s the part where everything in my head goes to a full stop. two minutes ago i was trying to chase my dreams and somehow ended up not even doing that.

maybe i spent my 20s wrong. maybe instead of skedaddling into different fields—communications, graphics design, teaching, freelancing, marketing, payroll, etc.—i should’ve just stuck with one thing. or i could pick something now and never leave it.

if i give up my dreams of being a published author…i’ll have one less thing to think about jumping into and die doing the practical thing to do. then i’ll just be another adult who owes younger me and apology.