So Much Better

ur girlfriend/boyfriend should NOT be ur first priority... ur first priority should ALWAYS be me, ur tumblr mutual

QUICK everyone say something vague and ominous about your WIP that will only make sense later

“You had to start pushing me off the ledge for me to start standing my ground.”

u used to be able to put a dvd in your computer. and then u could watch it

Matt Fradd's bizarre fixation with claiming women aren't funny every six months or so genuinely needs to be studied at this point

I don’t know what the answer is but it’s probably butter or garlic.

You’re a hideous, terrifying monster. One day, you meet an innocent little girl who isn’t afraid of you and treats you like anyone else. Day after day, you play together until you’re eventually separated. Many years later, you meet her again, but this time, she’s terrified of you.

I'm still thinking about the guy who saw me realize my wheelchair wouldn't fit in the elevator because he (also a wheelchair user) was already inside it and immediately quipped, "This elevator ain't accessible enough for the both of us."

All I can think about is the ENERGY in the room with the students when the first one looked at their email... absolutely incredible.

this is an extremely good joke format

I wish I knew how to play chess

I needed this.

I understand chess and oh my god can this be a meme format? Cause there are so many possible combinations here