Roulet

I got into Milgram during t2 (pre-TPM).

My other favourites outside of Kotoko are Yuno, Fuuta, Shidou, Kazui, Amane, John, and Es. (I have a special place for the whole cast though).

Ships I like are 0210, 0310, 0510, and 0910. I also enjoy platonic 0010, 0710, 0810, and xx10 (LuckyKotoko).

I don't have "fixed" headcanons necessarily, I can really get behind anything. However, I really like bisexual arospec + sometimes tmasc Kotoko.

I'm not officially a Kotoko yumeshipper of any kind, but I do post about her in an affectionate manner, so if that makes you uncomfortable this may not be the blog for you.

Lastly, I have no interest in participating in unnecessary unproductive discourse or drama. Thanks.

Kotoko's Dehumanisation and Division of Self

One of the most important things I want to note about Kotoko is just how much she dehumanises herself. The first type of dehumanisation she engages in is a separation between her (emotionally) and her (values). She almost never allows her emotional thinking to override the value self. Rather, she filters each decision through the mindset of being a tool of justice. She is not simply a person ennacting her values. In a way, she is the justice code she has derived in her head.

(tl by @/milgram-en on X)

The second type of dehumanisation she engages in is separating her mind from her body. Despite focusing on her physical fitness and dressing in a revealing manner, she's incredibly self conscious when anyone actually objectifies her or analyses her appearance.

Insert that one Kazui Kotoko minigram where they discuss fighting style. (image by @/Phantom_horizon on X)

Kotoko hates when people start to figure her out. If Kazui has any idea of what fighting techniques she's learned or uses, he could exploit that to prevent her from ennacting further justice. That could be a weakness to her. It's a fault of being locked into this physical human body with no way to escape from perception.

The third type of dehumanisation she engages in is through her physical space. She lives and operates her justice ventures out of a warehouse. She sleeps in a chair, takes supplements to make up for her limited diet, and is often nose-deep in a device of some kind. Harrow paints a very bleak picture of her life outside of university.

Lastly, the most obvious case of dehumanisation is Kotoko associating herself with an animal. She takes on the "lone-wolf" quality and represents herself as a wolf, both as a running motif in her MVs and in her dialogue as "Es' fangs." Milgram further places this on her with the muzzle in her T3 design. Most important to note is that her justice persona in Deep Cover is a more humanoid, monster-like wolf, unlike the fully feral animal she is seen with in Harrow.

Kotoko's Relationship with Children

For someone whose whole deal is ensuring the safety of "weak victims," Kotoko sure does place a lot of moral and legal accountability onto children. Kotoko treats children/teens with the same capacity as adults. She puts malicious intent on a 12 year old who committed murder, trusts a 15 year old to uphold an intense deal she herself crafted, and is enraged by an elementary school student being pressured to withdrawal her testimony. She doesn't believe in juvenile justice at all, she believes everyone has equal capacity if they can make such an "adult" decision like murder or running a prison.

Her relationship with Lucky (the hat girl in Deep Cover) is an advantageous one. She is the victim she protected and the primary piece of evidence to secure a judgement of self defense. When Lucky "oversteps" Kotoko by pulling out, she, having an adult capacity, is now a hinderance and is no longer in need of watching over. No matter how much Kotoko projects onto suffering children, she is always going to have to choose her mission over their wellbeing. She treats them just like how the justice system would, presumedly because that's where she may have learned firsthand how overlooked victims are.

Kotoko has also made this comment to Amane that no mature adult would say with confidence.

(tl by Rochisama Wordpress)

On her relationship with Es specifically, she really values them as a person because they're in the position she'd die to be in. In Kotoko's eyes, they're capable enough at 15 years old to understand the extent of the law and make significantly important decisions that impact the prisoners' futures. They are also yet another example of Kotoko projecting both herself and her desires to protect the "weak" onto someone significantly younger than her.

The Child in Harrow

All this to say, I point to the concerete evidence: this one shot in Harrow, this child that we don't see anywhere else.

Clearly not Lucky, so who is this? Is it another one of Tsugumichi Kaneshiro's victims? I question why another victim of Kaneshiro's is so important to show a clear shot of like this, from this third person perspective that Kotoko couldn't reasonably get a photo of without being there in the moment herself. While there are other vague shots in Harrow, this is the only one with a visible face and unclear shadow figure.

I fully believe that is a young Kotoko being victimised. We're not seeing her as a victim of Tsugumichi Kaneshiro, but of someone else.

Her passion is so raw that I have a hard time grasping with the idea that nothing, absolutely nothing happened in her life or to at the very least someone close to her for her to pursue something like this. You do not develop this type of a stark view where you are willing to dehumanise yourself for the world in a vacuum, and I would assert that it's a disservice to her to imply that's the case. It doesn't make her easier to sympathise with, it just makes her motivations more clear.

"But what about her interro questions?"

(tl by @/milgram-en on X & MILGRAM Fancult Discord)

I run up on these often that Kotoko saying she had a normal childhood must mean everything was 100% okay, no traumatic experiences, and that she got out unscathed. And while her parents might have treated her well and she never encountered bullying, her circumstances don't have to reflect this otherwise. She uses a very specific type of defensive language to reflect any personal questions that could lead us to discovering something unsettling about her past. There is also repressed trauma (a common link between 0910 as a pair).

When you consider how Milgram is treating her, how when she's deemed "guilty" she's restrained in the same manner a trafficking victim could be—mouth restraint, bound arms in the same manner they are in the flashback, restricted movement, the strap tightened between her legs, keeping her hunched over—it's rough.

When you consider what she declares verbally in this state, it makes it all the more clear she's having a negative reaction to this type of torture.

"You’re sad right? You’re in pain right? This is how it feels to lose something precious because of evil. Affirm me, Es! Your anger and pain, I will return it all for you!"

Conclusion

Kotoko has had something stolen from her and she never wants anyone to experience the same fate as her ever again. Despite being blindsided by her views on people as the "strong" or the "weak," cases like Lucky's are a sensitive spot for her. She went so far as to murder Tsugumichi Kaneshiro unlike (assumedly) her prior victims for the personal satisfaction of seeing an abuser like her own be dealt proper justice.