i like oranges

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

sometimes your distress does indicate you should stop and respect your limitations. at other times it's more of a baby aquatic mammal being introduced to water for the first time thing. Too bad the difference is so hard to tell.

"next time, log in faster with fingerprint/face/iris recognition!" how about i keep typing my password like i have for the past 25 years and you fuck off

I WISH IT HAD ALL BEEN DIFFERENT!!!!!

pronouns is short for protein nouns

You can give a cat a pill 3 times and then they will have your move set memorized and will animation cancel a swallow

i really love how you can tell how much happier she is

"He has a 12 inch cock" well my pussy ain't a fucking magicians hat bitch where is all that supposed to go

a 65 year old human man is dating a young woman but she's a vampire so his friends are like "oh, so she's actually like, centuries older than you? that's alright. can't expect her to date within her own age group. can't be that many options." but it comes out she just got turned into a vampire like 8 months ago and all his friends start boo-ing him

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed