Im Tired Can I Go Home

1% is 1 in 100. That is not rare in any sense of the world. If you walk through a city, you are likely to meet several of them on the same day. Please learn some statistics, I am begging you.

For example, rare diseases are often counted as few as about 1 in 2000 people. That's about 0.05%. And that is STILL 4 million globally.

it’s because every chapter ends in a cliffhanger. and i’m not kidding when i say that it is so flawlessly paced that you can’t put it down, but those beats are so crucial to why the book is so amazing to read. think of the end of the literal first chapter of the book: “it’s primrose everdeen.” that is a BOMB that she drops in that first chapter, and after the introduction, you as the reader are as blown away as katniss. so, you can’t help but turn the page and keep reading!! because you HAVE to know what happens next. and how does the second chapter end? like this: “of course, the odds have not been very dependable of late.” you, the reader, are instantly thinking, oh my god, what is going to happen? are the odds going to be in her favor? is she going to have to kill peeta? you HAVE to know. so you turn the page.

the reason this works so well is because suzanne collins wrote for television and you can tell. it is my personal belief that thg should have been adapted for television and not into films, because missing those beats, even just the white space of the page, i think fundamentally warps the pacing and the structure of the novels. i know i go on and on and on about the “because she came here with me” and “if it weren’t for the baby” lines but seriously this is why peeta is a media genius, it’s because suzanne COLLINS is a media genius. can you imagine watching that on television and the screen just cuts to black and goes to commercial or the episode ends and you have to wait to see what happens next?? it’s GENIUS

furthermore, the hunger games series as a whole is divided into a trilogy, but within that, divided into three sections each. and each section ends with an even bigger cliffhanger than the last. i see these, in the world of television, as mini season breaks within the larger three “seasons” of the show (that being the whole trilogy). here are the first three endings of all the sections. imagine you’re watching this on television and these lines drop, and then you have to wait several more weeks for the next installment. you would be climbing the walls for it. part 1 (the tributes): “peeta blushes beet red and stammers out. “because. because. she came here with me.” part 2 (the games): “before i can stop myself, i call out peeta’s name.” part 3 (the victor) (the end of the book): “i take his hand, holding on tightly, preparing for the cameras, and dreading the moment when i will finally have to let go.” those are ALL cliffhangers and make it impossible to stop reading.

(also, we can talk about the fact that all three of those beats are focused on peeta, the one who seems to most intrinsically understand dramatic timing and using his words to create a narrative.)

the beast gets cursed for being rude to someone. this would never happen to adrien who has never been rude once in his life but would definitely happen to marinette who has no brain to mouth filter.

belle’s mom is dead. adrien’s mom is dead. belle’s father decides to fuck around with magic and has to pay the price. adrien’s father… well, you know. belle and adrien pay the consequences. (yes i know otherwise the personality doesn’t fit but okay we have to take SOME liberties)

who do you think is gonna go around befriending teacups and candlesticks and clocks. marinette??? no. did you see how that girl reacted to tikki there’s no way she’d be chill about talking furniture unless she was there when the people turned into talking furniture.

gaston is obviously chloe. i’m tired of people putting theo barbot as marinette’s evil love interest when we could simply gender swap and use the plethora of evil love interests adrien has available. theo was mildly interested in her in 1 episode of season 1 it’s time to retire him.

just because disney’s beast is vaguely lion-like does not mean the beast has to be a furry. cmon guys GIVE her bug parts

adrien IS the most beautiful girl in town and he would ignore all marriage proposals from eligible women in order to run away into the forest to live in sin with a girl with a great personality and antenna. if marinette had lackluster marriage proposals she’d simply kickstart the first wave of feminism a few decades early and support herself financially on her fashion empire.

Painting of one of my minecraft builds- 10 hours ish total

because I do

and so does my wife

and my wife just came back from a nail polish convention and brought coupons for 17 different online stores back with him

which I've taken the liberty of organizing into a spreadsheet with helpful information like shop names and the discount codes and when they expire

So I like hearing the tidy lady tell me that yes I should live in a hovel with a bunch of linguistics books and dragon statues and here are some ways to keep the hovel clean and orderly while I lurk in it.