The Draconic Library

Alright buckaroos, it’s time for me to do something I said I might awhile back: share the pamphlet and resources pages I made about amatonormativity for a support group. I probably should put my username on them for credit but I really can’t be bothered and I just want the information to be out there for people looking for it. I just put my username in the file name. So please, read, download, share however you’d like. In fact I’d encourage you to download them specifically, in case something happens to where they’re hosted or this post. If you want to credit me that’s nice and appreciated but it really doesn’t matter. If I can’t even be bothered to credit myself you don’t have to worry about it either lmao.

A couple of notes on these: First, I almost had a section exploring more about polyamory at the end of the pamphlet but I ran out of space and the support group I originally made it for was already familiar with polyamory. Second, the resources page itself is a mix of materials explicitly about amatonormativity and materials about aromanticism, asexuality, polyamory/ethical non-monogamy, and relationship anarchy. All of these things relate back to amatonormativity but still, one could consider the title slightly misleading if you go in expecting only materials that use the term amatonormativity. The term was only coined in 2012 but it’s of course a concept that has been plaguing people for much longer.

So yeah, go forth, read my silly little writings and definitely go look at some of the other more qualified resources I compiled. Also if you want reblog this with your own amatonormativity resources, even if they’re already listed in the resources page just go ahead and share them again. It’s an absolutely fascinating topic and learning about is has quite literally been changing my life. But ultimately it’s less about someone changing their entire lifestyle based on this info and more about just becoming aware of an oppressive system and using that to understand others and choose the life they want free from a pre-established path. You can do as much or as little as makes sense for you right now, learning is just cool and helpful.

One more additional note actually, I’ve recently learned there are more axis in the aspec community than just romantic and sexual, as since there are other forms of attraction logically there are other identities that have a different relationship to those types of attraction. I don’t really know much about them and knew even less when I made these files, so I’m sorry that there’s no info about or mention them. But I would love for anyone to share their own resources! Because I’m sure these communities are also heavily affected by amatonormativity and deserve their time in the sun.

……… now I’m once again wondering if I’m acespec. I’ve always known I’m not like, zero attraction ever asexual. But, idk. It’s weird and confusing, and hard to disentangle what sounds nice vs what I actually want vs when I actually want it, and then what’s more from life circumstances and the headspace I’m currently in.

Genuinely toying with using the label quoisexual now, as ace-questioning/sexual-attraction-questioning really has been a mainstay in my life since I was 14, and now I’m 26. Idk, we’ll see how I feel sitting with all of this longer. I have been telling one of my friends when I talk about aromantic stuff “yeah and I’m pretty sure I’m not ace, but maybe I’ll find out I am later, I don’t really know” and that’s kind of a funny thing to say actually….

That being said.

I’ve been on ADHD meds for 1 week now for the first time in my life and oh my GOD why did no one tell me how great drugs were????? I love drugs! Holy shit I feel more like how I’m supposed to be. And not like in a “oh I feel neurotypical like I’m supposed to be,” no in some ways I can feel the hyperactive parts of my ADHD more but in a healthy way where I can actually enjoy movement in a way I haven’t been able to (whether from fatigue, anxiety around safety, or trauma, etc). But it helps with the executive dysfunction enough to where it’s a subtle difference but is also hugely impacting my sense of self and ability in a positive way. And I’m so much less anxious??? Like I still have anxiety, but even my social anxiety levels like saying excuse me to someone I’m going past in a grocery store are lower, which I did not expect. My therapist said it probably has to do with ADHD not echo chambering and fixating on the thoughts as much, or something like that. I feel like I can start to appreciate the positive parts of my ADHD and work on accepting it as just a neutral part of who I am instead of solely a hindrance.