Grab her hand and whisper "Run"

tumblr's "year in review" has done nothing but alert me that I operate in an unnoticed dark corner of this hellsite

gonna apply pokemon types to stuff that’s not pokemon

I wish I could terrorize ancient people with things that are commonplace today

releasing a roomba into the greek forums

“Sir, I can has fish?? Thank you, kind Sir!”

I’m NEVER going to get tired of watching Russians interact with wildlife

I’ve thought about this post every day for the past 5 years

republicans will be like “pull yourself by your bootstraps” and then make fun of AOC for having been a bartender

that’s because that’s not the Republican approved way to pull yourself by your own bootstraps, which is getting millions of dollars in stock from your parents

Doesn’t look safe for a mortal.

if you sit there you belong to the fae

That’s the Fae’s problem

“you wanna know why I didn’t do your stupid thing? I was drunk.” me me no like alcohol but very funny thing to say I’ll use this

“you wanna know why i didn’t do your stupid thing? i don’t give a shit.” ok mood

oh god I had a really big epiphany about love and personhood but I'm too drunk for words. hold on I'm gonna paint it.