(voice of a person spiralling) its embarrassing but i still havent figured out if its ok for me to be alive
d e v o n
I'd rather be in outer space ๐ธ

@theartofmadeline

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macklin celebrini has autism
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izzy's playlists!

titsay

blake kathryn
will byers stan first human second
Claire Keane
Jules of Nature
sheepfilms

romaโ

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oozey mess

ellievsbear
cherry valley forever
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@blackinthelowlight
(voice of a person spiralling) its embarrassing but i still havent figured out if its ok for me to be alive

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one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.
people went to war over this show
who suffered more?
Pearl
jesus christ
i had a dream last night that the entire world used a currency (?) called angrypennies which as the name implies are obtained by experiencing anger. the stronger and more intense your anger was, the more angrypennies you'd gain. an all-consuming rage would earn you more than a slight irritation, etc. so people were always searching for ways to fuel their anger and purposefully keeping themselves angry all the time because they wanted to earn angrypennies. unclear if angrypennies could be exchanged for goods and services, or if they were just a collectible.
anyway, as if this wasn't heavy-handed enough, at one point british comedian greg davies appeared and explained that angrypennies couldn't be worth feeling angry all the time. this was a real revelation to dream-me and i was finally able to break free of the angrypenny grind and allow myself to experience emotions other than anger.
it goes without saying that i will be using the word angrypenny as if it was part of the common vernacular instead of a term that my dreaming brain conjured up i.e. "he's all about the angrypennies" (derogatory way to refer to a guy who searches for reasons to be angry and possibly lacks introspection)
Item: Angrypennies

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Maryland will become the first US state to ban surveillance pricing in retail stores, after passing Protection from Predatory Pricing Act.
Jesus fucking christ that this exists in the first place
I WAS FUCKING WONDERING WHAT THOSE DIGITAL PRICE TAGS WERE ABOUT SUDDENLY i had hoped they were so the workers didn't have to finagle those little papers into the slider part anymore ๐ญ
Hi, yes, that is the OFFICIAL excuse made to me by the guy replacing the paper tags with digital ones at my local Walmart, but the end goal is to remove the numbers off the shelf entirely, replacing them with QR codes that you have to scan with the appโฆ. Which requires your login informationโฆ.. and also stores your card information so even if you didnโt use your Walmart account at the physical checkout, if you used a card they recognize, they assign that purchase to your Walmart account purchase history.
I explained very clearly to the manager my issue with the meat section not having the price tags listed, and they claimed it was only going to be for the meat, since meat is by weight, and the price of each item is printed on the packs of each item.
Sure. Thatโs how they get their foot in the door. Fast forward not even two weeks, and here we are:
Bar codes. No prices, no item descriptions. No price stickers on the individual items. Heck, not even the name of the item that is SUPPOSED to be there.
No. The only way to see the price is to scan it on your phone app, which is also recording what you looked at recently, as a way of gauging what you might be looking for in the future.
So hereโs what weโre gonna do gang:
Every time you go into a store that has implemented these price-less tags:
Take 1-3 items up to the cash register. Ask the cashier for the price, or hit the price check item on the self checkout, which will likely call over the attendant.
Express that you didnโt actually want it, you just couldnโt see on the shelf how much it was.
POLITELY, AND WITH A THANK YOU FOR THE PRICE CONFIRMATION, Give the items to the cashier or attendant to put back.
When they inevitably try to push the app, politely decline. If pressed for why not, say you donโt want to have to carry your phone in-hand the whole time you are shopping in order to see how much things cost. (Not having cell service or data to use the app is NOT a valid excuse, as stores already often have complimentary WiFi AND more stores will provide WiFi rather than give up on this push for surveillance pricing)
If itโs a shelf-stable item, the cashier will have to set it aside, taking up room in their limited operating space, and eventually pass it off to someone to put in a holding area to put back later. If itโs a fridge/freezer item, it might have to get tossed due to food product sale regulations.
In either case, you are making it a pain in the ass for them to have these digital bar codes. Tie up the checkouts. Give the employees more busywork that the company has to pay them to do. Hurt their bottom line having to toss the pint of ice cream you carried around in your cart for 20 minutes before giving it back to the cashier.
Yes, call your reps. Yes, push for more legislation like this in more places. But also take an extra minute out of your shopping trip to MAKE IT HURT for companies to pull this shit.
I've seen some people in the notes express (very fair) concern that this is only going to inconvenience already under-paid laborers, and not have any impact on corporate. While I can't speak for every company or every store, I do work in a grocery store and I can tell you this is precisely the kind of thing that would have an impact, especially if people are doing it en masse. Stores absolutely track their shrink numbers, and they do draw distinctions between what gets stolen, damaged, or wasted for other reasons. If people are making it clear that the reason they're bringing things to the cashier is that the prices are not adequately represented on the displays, and rather than improving business it's wasting product, slowing down transactions, and causing confusion and mistrust in customers, that is a language that shareholders speak.
I worked in retail for years. If this had happened while I was working retail, I would have been delighted and felt great solidarity with anyone who was wasting my employer's time and money and giving me busy work as an act of protest. In point of fact every moment the employee spends carting items back to the shelves is a moment not spent standing at a register.
Too depressed to be awake? Not depressed enough for a Depression Napโข? Welcome to Existential Crisis Wrapped in Blanket!
You'll notice that people do this in multiplayer games for much the same reason!

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So this is not a plea for money. This is something that surprised me, and chatting with people on discord, they were unaware of as well.
Discovered last year I couldnโt look at my 2015 MacBook Air without it triggering nausea and migraines, and figured the screen died. Have been getting by on my phone, but concluded I really need a laptop again.
Saved up, realised I could afford a brand new MacBook Neo, and got one.
-And I couldnโt spend more than five minutes looking at the screen without massive eye strain, nausea, vertigo, and if I pushed it, I-need-to-lie-down-in-a-dark-room-for-hours migraines.
Looking up MacBook and Eyestrain explained what is going on. The liquid retina displays that Apple currently has uses Pulse Width Modulation or PWM. In order to give the screens a deeper depth of colour and contrast, PWM flickers between several hundred to thousand times a second.
And there is currently no way to turn it off. There are settings and apps to reduce it, but there is no way to stop the screen from flickering. Checked Apple forums, called Apple Support, and the time I could look at the screen kept shrinking. Got the laptop Tuesday, returned it Friday, today is Sunday and Iโm still dealing with a vertigo migraine.
For MacBooks, it seems to vary on the computer model and the software it uses. In retrospect, the issue with my MacBook Air started after a major software update.
And itโs not just an Apple thing. Current Windows and Android screens do the same thing. Thereโs even a Reddit for people who are sensitive to PWM flickers to help find computers and screens that wonโt trigger eyestrain and headaches.
So, yeah. This week has been a learning experience. But for those who are prone to headaches and migraines, this may be something to be aware of, cause I was not.
t shirt that just says WHATEVER YOUโRE READING INTO MY FACIAL EXPRESSIONS AND BODY LANGUAGE YOUโRE MISINTERPRETING
You know when there's like, a straight show and everyone's like "it's full of queer subtext between the main straight dudes, and this character is obviously autistic and they really meant to say trans rights"? And then there's a queer show and all of a sudden it's "no but they weren't sensitive about this character's trauma and the queer sex scenes are too short and they're all problematic as fuck, i can't even watch"? And then our shit doesn't get renewed, and we hated on it the whole way for not embodying the perfection we'd never dream of demanding from the straight show?
Yeah, something like that
how to move through life like a real human being and not a reanimated corpse

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transitioning is like putting on the They Live glasses and seeing that 90% of people looking at you are either jerking off or furiously sharpening a knife. or both. and i do not mean that in a sexy or fun way, and i dont like clarifying that, but i know there's a 90% chance you are thinking it, because i wrote it while being a trans woman.
to clarify:
when considering the sexual violence against trans women, it's important to remember that "people only view us sexually" does not mean the same thing as "people only find us attractive". it means "people can only conceptualize of our existence within a sexual light" because that's how the majority of our coverage in media has been tinged in the past century. as a result of the chaste and patriarchal nature of modern capitalism, gender and sexuality are inseparable in much public discourse by virtue of propaganda, and as a result, a trans woman is seen as sexual because efforts towards projecting specifically femininity is only categorized as sexual. and when paired with the uncharitable perception of "man", that propaganda can often evolve how people view us directly into "sexual threat" anywhere, for any reason. i could be in the freezer aisle of costco looking down at the ground while i push my cart and i'd still get dirty looks for wearing a dress (this has happened).
when i say "they're either jerking off or sharpening a knife", i mean we're either viewed sexually, or as sexually threatening, in almost all scenarios.
[NOTE: AS WITH ALL MATTERS OF TRANSMISOGYNY, THIS ISSUE IS 100 TIMES WORSE FOR BLACK GIRLS]
having a headache while hydrated is so unfair. you were supposed to protect me.