Welcome To Hell

iron lung directors commentary where markplier is in the top left corner narrating like he's controlling himself in a video game when

Hello everybody my name is markiplier and today we're getting thrown around in a metal can and marinated in blood because a utilitarian lesbian made the challenging but ultimately correct decision to put me in the soup

I love how Zohran Mamdani is wearing a suit everywhere. And if he has anything else he puts it ON TOP of the suit. A basketball jersey. A high-vis vest. All worn over the suit. He’s like the mayor character in a cartoon who’s always dressed as The Mayor. If I didn’t know who he was and he biked past me in NYC I’d be like holy shit was that the mayor

do y’all remember usernames??? from back when every fuckin website didn’t need your email phone number home address social security number just to join/sign up for something?? when you could make website-specific accounts that weren’t linked to literally anything else??? they tried to boil us like a frog slowly switching to “username/email” and then just asking for your email. but I remember. I remember usernames.

masturbation is evil not for any puritan anti-fun reason but because it has permanently claimed so many verbs

nobody can crank anything anymore. and god forbid you jerk

turning off rbs at 75k btw so get your last reblogs in now

I strongly believe that Zaeth is like 7 steps into his 10 step plan to become Darkness Man and Bat Child’s third and he hasn't yet realized they're not actually in a relationship

I wish people were as scared of getting into a car accident as they are of being true crime'd. Maybe then they wouldn't be on their phones while driving.

Another reason why trains would be good is that most people are not good at driving

white ppl will steal every aesthetic from black culture and then call it something so stupid like bo derek braids instead of box braids or hasbin hotel core instead of black southern dandism. yall will bend over backwards to call my culture barbaric/scary just to drool over the aesthetic the moment no actual black people are involved (21 pilots vs actual reggae). And if ur white/nonblack reading this just reblog. I dont need any comments talking about how not racist you are + speaking up over actual black people.

HJ Wingstreet they could never make me hate you.

I feel like pirating media that isn’t sold or offered anywhere legally anymore shouldn’t be called piracy. Girl thats archaeology