my ultimate fantasy is having a brain that lets me enjoy being alive

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@thedevildancesagain
my ultimate fantasy is having a brain that lets me enjoy being alive

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do you think youād actually notice if someone didnāt cast a shadow? or if their limbs were just slightly too long? or if they had just a little too many teeth? like how many times have you passed Something on the street and you just didnāt Notice It
stay woke monsterfuckers ur love is out there!!!!!
yknow what? not my point at all in any way whatsoever, but Iām glad I could be an inspiration
me: *dissociates frequently*
someone: what have you been up to?
me: dunno
me: wasnāt there
OMG
@celebrimbot
cause of death: this tweet

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Did I ever tell you guys that Iām personally barred from entering an entire region in Scotland
And itās not just a small town.Ā
Iām forever banned from stepping foot on what is virtually 1/5th of Scotlandās landmass.Ā
For those of you wondering, it involved my disgruntled ancestor, the modern day equivalent of a 5 dollar refund, angry townspeople, and a ban on my entire bloodline until the end of time.
I really want to hear this story
If this gets to a hundred notes, Iāll give you more details.Ā
Alright, gather around. So way way back in the 1700ā²s, my respectable relative decided that they wanted to go traveling. Their crops had come in on time, they werenāt dying of tuberculosis, and, for once, the English werenāt trying to kill them. So, naturally, they ventured South to a small village in the Hebrides for a nice ātropicalā vacation. Upon reaching said village, they came across an inn.Ā
Now, the Scottish, being the wild party animals that they are, were having a dance that night. This dance must have looked like a lot of fun, because my relative in question decided to pay a modest fee of what would be 5 dollars in todayās world to get in. Everything was going great, until 10 minutes later, the inn decided to close for the night. My dude was NOT having it. They demanded a refund, but the innkeeper said no.Ā
Shenanigans promptly ensued. They wanted their 5 dollars, and by God, THEY WOULD GET IT. Unfortunately, there was a no refund policy. I donāt know what was worse, the fact that they were robbed of 5 bucks, or that they were thrown so violently off their groove. I will never know what really happened next that night that was so bad, so awful, so absolutely mortifying that it warranted exile, but one canāt help but imagine. Was it murder? Heresy? A combination of both?
In the end, the townspeople chased them off, banished them, and cursed their very name. If they, or any of their children, or their childrenās childrenās children decided to step foot back on that island, there would be goddamn hell to pay.Ā
IfĀ I could choose to travel back in time to any one place, it would be this very same event. I mean, I have questions. Did my ancestor kick ass and take names, or did they get their ass kicked? What else would they do for 5 dollars? Was wreaking havoc on a small town and forever shaming the family name worth it? Was it honestly worth the 5 fricking dollars?
spn hiatus creations | week 3 | Dean Winchester ā³ ~33 years of Dean
Hey listen, we will figure this out, just like we always do.
inspired by (x)
Up against, Good, Evil, angels, devils, Destiny, and God himself, they made their own choice. They chose family.

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i have two moods
i wonder if magic is real, but only in a really mundane way.
when i was little i could almost inerringly switch back to disney channel right as the ads ended when i was channel surfing.
maybe youve never accidentally crushed a ladybug underfoot. maybe your microwave popcorn never burns. maybe you can spin around lots and lots of times before you get dizzy.
is that magic??
honestly im not sure if these are magic or just small, invisible skills. im not sure which i like better.
My ankles never twist. Ā Iāve always been rather active, I did track for five years (all the running events), and one time while running I stepped in a hole, lost my shoe, and landed sprawling about five feet away. Ā I pulled my shoe on and kept running.
I have a coworker who somehow makes better coffee than everyone else even though the grounds come pre-measured and all you have to do is load them up and push a button. Ā I have a friend who has inch long nails that never break. Ā My brother can copy origami just by looking at the finished product and my mother can do the same with knots. Ā I knew a guy who never made an error when typing.
Maybe we all have little magics, the kind that you donāt realize you have. Ā Just tiny things that make your life slightly better but are completely unnoticed on the outside.
this is the cutest post i have ever readā¦
me: i gotta focus on this beca-
brain: ladies and gentlemen,
me: please
brain: this is mambo no. 5
The guy in the sleeping bag wiggling around
Iām weeping
The two people in the front wearing one shirt.
Are we really not going to talk about the guy in the back who is attached to another guyās back while spinning?
WHAT ABOUT THE GUY THAT FALLS OUT OF THE WINDOW
WHY IS IT BACK
no you guys donāt understand, not only is this the first harlem shake out there⦠these guys arenāt normal military. This is āTelemarkbataljonenā. Theyāre pretty much the Norwegian equivalent of the fucking black ops. My brother knows a guy in this battalion, and when asked what they do there, he looked my brother dead in the eye and said āThat is strictly confidentialā. These guys are hard as shit, which makes this even more hilarious
concept: instead of hedwig, Harry goes into the pet store and this little snake in the back of the store talks to him, obviously gets his attention more than the other animals, and harry feels sorry for it so he takes it home. Then the snake helps Harry throughout his years at hogwarts as harry carries it wrapped around his hand all likeĀ āpssssst, haaarryyy, the dark lord isss coming sssā or just petty shit likeĀ āhaaaarrryy, now is the time, assskkk out cho chaaannnggā
The snake getting really agitated in second year and Harry likeĀ āAw, whatās wrong little friend?ā
And snakeās likeĀ āNah donāt worry itās cool, itās just that big fuck-off snake in the pipes that keeps making you think youāre hearing thingsāitās like, ten thousand foot long, and Iām a corn snake, so you know. Bit intimidating.ā

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sometimes i forget how many times iāve picked myself off the floor, how many times iāve washed away smudgy makeup and put myself to bed. how many times iāve said no to something unhealthy. said yes to something good. how many times iāve treated myself with kindness and patience. i forget how many times iāve tended to wounds and made peace with my own anger. if i was taking care of a body that was not my own, iād believe i was doing everything i could. so hereās to remembering that iām doing the best i can.
ādonāt you get your languages mixed up?ā
yeah all the time in fact in my latest Japanese essay I got 0% because I wrote the entire thing in Spanish and my parents are getting increasingly frustrated because I keep talking to them in German rather than British Sign Language
my friend is fluent in english, french, italian, portugese, german, dutch, russian and is learning spanish and latvian, and the other day he went into starbucks in england, ordered a latte in german, corrected himself in dutch and the poor barista looked at him in terror
I wrote the entire WRITTEN EXPRESSION part of my Spanish test in French, read over the whole exam like 3 times and didnāt notice
my friend has like 7 or 8 siblings and theyāre all fluent in about 6 or 7 languages, and theyāll all be spitting out sentences and remarks and requests in different languages and their parents get so confused. One of them handed in an AP test that started in german and ended in italian